Tag Archives: wedding

Life is Too Short to Attach Yourself to Anyone’s Boxers

Women like me are tagged “radical”, “fiery”, “tough” etc but I since realized a long time ago that my happiness stares me in the face.

I’m solely responsible for my own happiness.

Marriage doesn’t validate or quantify one’s success.

I’m not a manager of happiness. It’s ALL or NOTHING with me.

Prayers are good but only when both souls agree to it.

I won’t whittle out for anyone who doesn’t prioritize me.

I’m Afolake. I’m different. I’m not scared of societal labeling. I validate my own truth.

As I’ve prepared myself as a treasure as a wife then he who marries me, must be lucky to get me.

No half measures. No second guessing.

Life is too short to attach your happiness to another’s boxers, moods or emotions.

I will continue to challenge the unfounded traditional myths that equates marriage with suffering. NO. The status quo must change and give way.

There’s no special place in heaven for best Miss or Mrs.

Till we rid ourselves of the congenital and societal backed belief that marriage is the solution to life’s problems, certain women shall continue to live in grief, violent, grey and toxic marriages.

No woman’s worth should be validated by marriage much less an erring husband returning home as a prized possession.

This is my creed. _ Folake Oyetesho

Banky W and Adesua Etomi’s Love Story: Lessons Learnt

While we feel all mushy inside over Banky W and Adesua’s love story, lets not ignore the obvious and hidden lessons therein. Some of these lessons we already know in our hearts, but their love story has just slapped the reality in our face. This story may as well be a written fiction, but in every story, there is a lesson or two

Life is hard enough, everyone needs someone to make them feel like tomorrow is not just another day. So, we search desperately instead of waiting patiently. When we’re desperate, most men look appealing and any sign of them being nice to us is deemed as a gift instead of a right

During the process of desperately searching, you may find the love of your life but even the best person will misbehave when you don’t pause and give things time to take root. Adesuwa could have given Banky a chance immediately but she didn’t. She needed to be sure, she understood the power of pause and she used it. She wasn’t scared that that may have been her only chance at love, she was focused more on herself, making sure she got it right, so she made him wait

Love cannot be forced or rushed. Any man or woman who does not understand this is not ready to build a quality relationship. One time, I met someone and it felt so right, so perfect. I felt like something this magical could never be wrong. So I jumped in without thinking and most importantly, praying. What was the point? This is exactly what I have been waiting for. It shouldn’t have been that way though, I should have prayed. I should have acknowledged my feelings but also cultivated it. I should have waited to see if it was fleeting or solid. Needless to say it was the wrong approach and the wrong time. Who knows, may be the wrong person too. No matter how strongly you feel about someone, praying before jumping into a relationship will set you in the right path. Bear in mind, sometimes we may not like the answer to our prayers, but we must learn, at the long run, it is for our own good

Friendship cannot be overrated. When everything goes to shit, this is what binds you, even more than love

Some people are so unhappy being single, they’ll latch on to any man that comes across bearing some sort of remote happiness. We all get lonely sometimes, but our single status should not make us unhappy. This is the time to live consciously, time to develop yourself and be filled with so much substance. This way, no one will be able to deny the quality of your mind and soul

Dear woman, when you make a man wait until you’re sure, you are not posing, you are not proud. This is not for women who like to play games though, this is for that woman who is filled with so much substance she cannot risk losing all that work she has put in for anyone. A man that sees this quality will wait on you, because he is desperate to tap into the awesomeness you carry in your spirit. When a man is sure that he wants you, he won’t give up on you unless he absolutely has no choice. Someone will tap into your awesomeness, let it be someone who deserves it

P.S Remember, our paths are different, not all of our Cinderella stories will be the same. In all you do, apply wisdom