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How I fell in Love With My Skin Again

For as long as I’ve lived-as long as I’ve been aware-I’ve had spots at the extremities of my body. I always tried to forget they were there but my mother would pull me back to a consciousness of them with her worry. We didn’t know any better.

As a child, in the early 00’s, being exposed to beauty parlours and hair salons, I got a basic description of beauty. It was about bone straight long hair (if not from your head, then extensions). It was about the things you wore (hello kitty and baby phat were all the rave in my childhood). Then it was skin, healthy, spotless skin. I didn’t have that. I have Papular Utricaria, but neither my mother nor I knew what it was at the time. All we knew was it left papules on my body that sometimes later dried to black spots and that it heightened after insect bites, after a change in environment or during the rainy season. But fuck it, I was in love with the rain as a child. I would go out and play in the rain only to come back in the evening scratching my skin out, because those papules were itchy. My mother’s friends would always say the same things, I would outgrow my spots.

Doctors said the same things. As a child, it was that i’d outgrow my spots. As a preteen, it became I would outgrow my spots… but here are some creams and tablets. I never cared, but I cared that my mother cared. So I tried to make some lifestyle changes. I wore leggings, which are now a staple in my wardrobe. I also used Dettol and antibacterials and mosquito repellents as she said I should, as the doctors prescribed. I used Dettol religiously, as though i could dight away the spots. It didn’t help that I was lazy, that up until 14 I only bathed once a day, that I was a weekend washer and scavenged the dirty cloth basket for a decent smelling t-shirt once in a while. But I really thought the Dettol was doing me good, Dettol and hot water.

I remember one time, when I was six and we still lived in my father’s 3 bedroom bungalow, and I shared a room with my siblings and aunty Mary. I closed my eyes before sleep, and I prayed “God please, if I wake up, let my spots disappear”. They obviously didn’t. I distanced myself from them until I couldn’t anymore, in junior secondary school. Back then, I was a fat girl with spotty dark skin and short relaxed hair. It was the perfect formula for a misanthrope. And that I was. I separated myself from fashion, make up, people. It didn’t help that my siblings called me names, or that my classmates called me names. Or that I was the only female I knew with an utricaria and I wasn’t sure what it was.

I never got the answers I needed until this year when I finally visited a dermatologist. I got to find out that its a common skin condition, very common. I also found out that with hypersensitivity of skin, Dettols and antibacterials only make the outward manifestations (papules and dark spots) worse. All I needed was a change of soap, advantan or an antihistamine and a mosquito net. Obviously, I would never wear a mini skirt in my life, but I skip that rule once in a while. I was relieved at the thought of saying goodbye to my spots but then I realised all the time gone into consciously thinking about not thinking about my spots. From praying them away at age six, to watching the way people stared at my legs at age 12 to seeing them fade away now.

I think about the money gone into creams and herbal medicine (I actually bathed with quail eggs once). I think of the time, the leggings!! And I cannot remember a time in those years, when I wasn’t conscious of myself and my looks despite my trying not to be. But who do I blame for that? The doctor? My mom? My classmates? My siblings? Who do I blame for the pictures I didn’t take? It would be easy to blame my mom, she was buying me leggings when she should’ve been taking me to the dermatologist. She was expressing her worry when she should’ve been giving an encouraging word. But I ultimately made the decision to let my skin rule my teenage years. Now, here I am on the brink of adulthood.

There are many teenage girls (and guys) with Papular Utricaria who because of the outward manifestations have lost their sense of self esteem. Your devil might not even be an Utricaria. It could be an infection, cleft lip, fat lips, gap tooth, flat nose, small nose, bad edges, bow legs, k legs, broken teeth, body odour, mouth odour, etc etc. And yes, there are measures we can take to work out these devils but I want to give an encouraging word where my mother did not. And that is, don’t let it rob you off years of beautiful experiences and memories.

I appreciate my aunty Akudo because she said something important to me.  She said its never about what you have, in my case an utricaria. She said, its about your confidence. When you walk with confidence, when you are confident in yourself, the last thing people will care about are the spots on your leg. She would always say, be yourself, free yourself, and be you. And that’s what I want everyone to take from this. Do not be anxious of the little things. Just be yourself. Be you.

Today at Toyin street Ikeja, I found a new connect.

I’m on Toyin Street, Ikeja Lagos trying to locate a particular shop. I get down from my car because there’s traffic and I’m running out of time. I can’t locate the street so I stand at a junction to get directions from google maps.

I look up from my phone and I see three men walk intentionally towards me. One of them is unclad from waist up. The remaining two walk behind him, like bodyguards. The unclad man is now standing in front of me, I see now he’s holding a dumbbell of around 10kg.

As I look at the dumbbell and back at him, he smiles foolishly and begins to pump…slowly. What is happeninggggg??? I almost laugh but there are 3 men who have surrounded me, one of them working a dumbbell. “How va?” Dumbbell asks me. His smile looks like he’s about to bite.

I do not respond. I turn around, wondering if my driver is close by so he can save me from the situation. “Ahn ahn. You no wan answer ni? As I see you comot for car I say AH! Omooo ele! Na gym I dey o, but I no fit miss you…” dumbbell is talking to me, still pumping.

It’s time to call my driver. “Akeem, bring the car to where you dropped me off. Let’s go” I say to my driver as soon as he answers the phone. “Ahhhhhh. Your driver name is Akeem. My name is Akeem too o. Everybody know me for here as AK. But is Akeem”.

I still do not respond. I can see my car, my driver is driving towards me. Now one of the mute bodyguards speaks, “They’re talking to you, you’re doing gbonku gbonku. You don’t know who is this?” I look at dumbbell. I don’t care. He’s still working his arms. “Look up!” Commands the bodyguard. I look up. I don’t see anything. “Yinka Bamgbose. You see am?” Dumbbell is speaking for himself now as he points at a street sign directly above me, “Dah is my father name. So dee is awa street. My name is Akeem Bamgbose…”

Dumbell stretches out his sweaty palms. I ignore it. My car is here. “Wo. Psss… I never see you here before, anything you want for this area, eees me you look for. Ask for AK, mo cover è (Translation: I’ve got you)” My driver jumps down from the car and and does a mini jog towards me. He opens the car door and says, “Oya ma. Let’s go,” as he steps up to Dumbbell which made him instinctively step back. As I enter the car, Dumbbell reminds me, “Omo Ele, AK ni o, no forget. Anytin at all” My driver zooms off.

I realise I’ve been holding my breath.

Childhood

Childhood Shenanigans: The Story of My Broken Bum Bum

Childhood Shenanigans: The Story of My Broken Bum Bum

One of the things that caused me acute heartbreak when I was young was sitting down by our balcony, grounded, while I watched other kids play outside. It drove me to tears and made me wish I could be adopted by those other parents who allowed their kids run free on the street. We lived on the first floor, in a house by the T-Junction. This meant I had a perfect view of our street and two connecting streets. I could see EVERYTHING and EVERYONE

As I may have mentioned in previous posts, when I was young, I reigned supreme as the organiser of street fights, no one could sit with my crew. We picked fights, caused fights, cheated in football games, stormed parties and performed folk songs in expectation of getting paid… And Yes, we did get paid. It was fun for us, but worrisome for my parents. On this day especially, I was grounded for stealing my mum’s Aso-Oke to go perform- Unsolicited- at a birthday party down the road. What angered me most was that I made N10 that day, what parent would ground a child for going out and making N10 on a Saturday?!

So there I was sitting by the balcony, complaining about my mum to my sister. The other kids playing soccer downstairs saw my dejected look, couldn’t take it anymore and so found a solution for my escape- JUMP. They gathered below the balcony and told me “e no too far, you fit jump downstairs na” One of the kids from the next house said to me “I day do am well, that time wey…” This seemed like a good idea, not once did I wonder how I would get back in the house.

I ran inside to change into my soccer jeans and “canvas”. Checked my mum real quick to find her sleeping soundly on the couch by the door.I prepared myself, and jumped Read: Children’s Day: “I Want to be The best Electrical Engineer in The World”- 13 Year Old Lekan.

I landed on my bum and felt a sharp pain. It felt like there was something going on inside my bum but I couldn’t figure it out. Immediately, I knew I had messed up, so I started crying. My sister looked downstairs from the balcony and laughed so much I could see tears in her eyes. Determined to make her look like a fool, I stood, felt the sharp pain in my butt crack and immediately sat back down. “My yansh don breeeeeak” I wailed repeatedly. Our landlady’s son who was a teenager rushed to my side and tried to lift me up. I held on to him as he made me walk around so I could feel what was broken. Nothing hurt at all except somewhere around my butt crack.

I therefore took the walk of shame upstairs, knocked on the door and there I was, face to face with the woman who made me. She was shocked! “Where are you coming from, how did you get downstairs?”. “I sneaked out the door while you were asleep”. She looked confused but pulled me in by my ear and twisted it in warning. “Go and wash the plates!”. I tried not to limp to the kitchen, I paused by the sink, shuffled my feet around to check if my “yansh” had repaired itself. Nah, it still hurt like crazy.

I jumped when I heard, “Tell me, I won’t beat you, how did you get downstairs?”. Who knew where she came from? “Have you been crying? did someone beat you? tell me now, what happened? I won’t beat you”. Awww, she looked so concerned, so I fell for the trap. “I jumped from the balcony but it wasn’t that far” The look of shock on her face sent me backing up on the sink. “You did what? Is that why you can’t walk well…” Before I knew it, she had pulled me towards her and gave me a double slap. (using both hands at the dame time).

Everything else was a blur after that -The trip to the hospital, the scan and my mum’s conversation with the doctor- All I heard was “Nothing is broken, she’s fine”. I braced myself for another set of punishment on my way home. That was the day I learnt never to admit to any wrong just because my mum said with a straight face “ Tell me, I won’t beat you”.

That Time A Married Woman Tried To Hustle A Single Man With Me

Yesterday, around 10:20 pm my gas finished while I was boiling rice. Please focus on the topic at hand, stop wondering “Ife, why eat so late?” What to do? No way I going to buy gas at that time of the night, so, I decided to call my neighbour, Chi

“Hi Mama, I hope I did not wake you?”

she replied, “Noo, we still get visitors for house, What’s up?”

“Well, I was cooking and my gas finished. Can I come through the back door to finish boiling my rice at yours?” I asked with no shame. It was payback time because one morning at 4:30 am she called me non-stop to ask for toothpaste so…….yea.

I picked up my pot of half cooked rice and went through the back door which was the entrance to her kitchen. My dear neighbour had turned on her gas cooker for me, I simply placed the pot on the burner and waited.

I asked her where her husband was and she informed me he was entertaining guests but I could peek my head out and say a quick “Hello”. I stepped out of the kitchen to a room full of 4 men in my pyjamas and a week old cornrows. I scanned the room quickly for Emeka (my neighbour’s husband) but my eyes landed on Idris Elba mixed Mbaku with a slight Micheal B. Jordan as an ingredient. Oh, let me clarify, this is one with all those people’s features. I don’t know who did it but something pulled my brows up, widened my eyes and I instinctively took a step back.

I bumped into Chi and I wondered what she was doing behind me. My brain soon kicked in and I smiled at the chocolate mixed with honey. He smiled back, full teeth, Jesuuu! Ekis sir put all your teeth back, I can’t breathe. Emeka then said, “Hey Ife how now?” Emeka had been beside me all along but teeth so bright, I lost focus. We exchanged pleasantries and I did a quick about turn into the kitchen, with Chi on my heels.

“Why are you following me so closely?” I asked Chi as soon as we got into the Kitchen. She said, “Shebi you saw that fine man. Hay God! He’s so cute. I knew you’d notice him. Let’s go back out again as if we’re going to the room, to take another look”

Huh?

“Ekis ma your husband is right there. Control yourself” I laughed out loud. She looked quite excited like she had found an accomplice. “What’s his name?” I asked Chi

“I can’t remember, everything stopped when were being introduced. And I can’t sit there, they’re talking business” she replied

Not that I didn’t want to see Captain America plus Black Panther again, I just wasn’t going to roam around the house aimlessly. When I told Chi this, her shoulders slumped and she called me a killjoy.

Just about then, Emeka came into the Kitchen to announce their departure, in an unspoke request for his wife to bid their guests’ bye. Shortly after, I heard the kitchen door open, I did not bother to look up from what I was doing on my phone thinking it was Chi. Then I heard an unfamiliar voice say “I had to come to say goodbye since you didn’t come out to bid us farewell”

“Bid us farewell” who says that? I thought to myself as I scanned the features of his face with a smile

In a flash, Chi was by my side, smiling foolishly, looking silly with no care in the world. I found my voice and  said to him “Oh sorry about that” I did not know what more to say, however, Chi took over in split seconds and said, “You must come back to visit, we will be glad to have you?”

Mr Caramel nodded, bid us farewell again and off he went. I told Chi “Could your lust be more obvious?” She planted her heavy behind beside me on the kitchen Island and gave me a side hug saying “Oh Ife, what a fine man. I hope he comes back.”

Oh wow! None of this was about me or how he came back to the kitchen to look for me”  SMH.

Issokay

Hyperthyroidism

Are You Aware of the Beast Gradually Eating At the Women Folk? It is called Hyperthyroidism

Hyperthyroidism is a beast gradually eating the womenfolk. Whilst some women are ignorant of this disease, others are too scared to share their story.

This is my story.

I have been living with hyperthyroidism for close to two years now. For those who are not aware of what it means. It simply means my thyroid gland functions abnormally, secreting too much of hormone.

This over secretion has resulted in me having Goitre, what the Yorubas call ‘gege’ (I hate the Yoruba name for it between). Goitre is just one of the physical attributes of Hyperthyroidism, the internal effect is much worse.

Anytime I forget to take my drugs, I experience serious chest pain coupled with palpitation, muscle contraction, irregular menstrual flow, consistent stooling, loss of breath and some.

The goitre isn’t gone and I am usually embarrassed when people’s attention is drawn to it. I woke up this morning remembering how a client called my attention to it yesterday. I felt sad! She assumed I didn’t know and was asking me in front of a colleague if I was ‘taking care of my neck’. I am not one for pity party though.

I went to the hospital when I noticed I had a swollen neck and persistent chest pain. Ever since I have been doing series of tests.

Initially, I visited a government hospital until I realized government hospitals were time wasters. Every time I went to the hospital, I would return home feeling more depressed due to the ill-mannered way in which I was being treated by the doctors and nurse.

After wasting so much money and time, I travelled down to Lagos, to register for my NHIS and chose LASUTH, however, they are presently on strike.

There are Foundations who offer free medical surgery for Thyroid but I am not comfortable with my face shown all over different social media pages. I want my story to be told when I am most comfortable.

I am a very beautiful lady with a high level of self-confidence but ever since my journey with hyperthyroidism began, I have become the shadow of myself. I walk around my head bowed. I fear that when my head is raised, people will see my neck and pity me.

I have made a decision to go to the NHIS office located at Yaba, Lagos State soon to change to my hospital to a private hospital (I hope I’m allowed to do so).

I will advise all readers of this blog to go for Thyroid function test. It isn’t that common in men, like 1 man in 100 but 80 women in 100.

Hyperthyroidism doesn’t stop at having an operation to remove the organ. I will be faced with using drugs for the rest of life to manage it.

Women, please get tested today. Hyperthyroidism is no joke.

Written by J for diaryofanaijagirl.

Happily Married Woman

Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman: “Sometimes, Marriage is Gross”

Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman

The foremost thing on my mind right now is to keep from sounding like a marriage handbook, or a how-to guide. Too many write-ups on marriage out there already. Far be it from me tell you what marriage is like. I’m not sure I know…but it’s been 2 years. I’d like to think I have earned the right to a few words on the subject.
No need to bore you on how we met. It’s a good story though. Remind me to tell it some other time. We have had quite the interesting relationship, I will say that. I like to think that I’m one of the lucky ones who legitimately married their friend. Some days I like him a lot. Some days, I need him out of my face. Well at least until it’s time to turn on the generator

Life with my husband is interesting. Our fights are legendary. I’m married to a man with a temper. Yes, I know what I said. Don’t bother waiting for the part about physical violence. Some temperamental men are not wife beaters guys, keep your earrings on. So yes, legendary fights. However, nothing beats a man who is so mad at you but still loves you even though you are currently the bane of his existence. I remember a time when we had a God-awful argument, and in the morning I was up to run my own water to bathe and he got angry that I had the nerve to do that when I knew he always ran my bath water. And that now became the fight for the day. *Insert rolling eye emoji*

Try not to sleep on an argument. That’s like marriage 101, abi? Sorry guys. Sometimes you will. One time, I was so angry that in my sleep, I mistakenly rolled and touched him, then remembered I hated him and rolled away so fast. He still laughs at me about that sometimes.

We have different love languages. My bobo likes to use words. He is touchy-feely. He likes cuddles and kisses and hugs and mushiness and all that jazz. Me? Hmm. My case is in the hands of God. I’m not that bad though. I used to be romantic, I swear. But sometimes, life can affect you more than you know. Not because you are hung up on an ex, or two, but sometimes it just takes a part of you away and then your husband has to suffer it.

So my single sisters, remember that. Scratch that. I specifically said I didn’t want to be ‘self-helpy.’ Moving on.

Marriage is gross. I had always seen the glamorous side; you know, get dressed up and go out, perfect couple stints, IG stunting and all. But that’s like 10% of the matter. In a particularly bad couch-potato kinda month, 5%. Sometimes you want to have sex but purge will not let you be great. You fart under the duvet and nearly become a widow by your own making because the poor guy doesn’t stand a chance. Sometimes if there is too much heat as a result of NEPA, cuddling is a no-no because body contact=body heat= yuck!

My husband thinks I’m too serious. I’m the worrier; I’m the one that would prefer to collect all his savings from him and put in a trust somewhere he will never find it till we need it. He, on the other hand believes “Money will always come”. Nah bruh, I ain’t taking that chance. He also likes play too much. I’d rather sit and watch series. We’re quite different, him and I. Not opposites, but different.

My favourite thing about my marriage is the calm and peace I feel. Do I imagine what life would have been like if I didn’t marry him, or if I stayed single? Yes.

Do I sometimes want to throw him down the stairs and be done with it? Yes.

And I tell him every day. What I don’t tell him is how I’d be lost without him. What I don’t tell him is that he saved me from myself and that with all his plenty flaws, (they are a LOT) I still don’t feel like I deserve him. But hopefully, someday I will figure out just how to tell him.

Written by: Miss Vee for Diaryofanaijagirl.com

Orphaned at 17, I Automatically Became a Mother of Four to My Siblings: Here is How We Survived

Hello DANG, I’m not a writer but I feel an urge to share this

Today makes it 15 years I’ve been an orphan. My parents were decent civil Servants: Mum a teacher and jack of any trade she was interested in, and dad an Engineer. We all fought for daddy’s approval. If you did well in school you were a favorite. Me? I was never close to first or second place in class. Rarely 3rd and mostly between 4th-10th place.

Life was comfortable and good…then, the worst day of my life happens. Both of my parents died on the same day!!! I still remember where I was when I heard…. I was in the house in Lagos where my family stayed anytime we come around. I was standing outside while my brother was in he bathroom while my aunt walked into the compound. I was not surprised to see her since she didn’t stay far away and would sometimes come around unannounced.

“There has been an accident, there was a plane crash and your parents were on it”. She said. I remember seeing the news of the plane crash shortly before then but it didn’t occur to me that was the flight my parents were on. Still standing as I stared at her in shock, I began to shake uncontrollably, everything became blurry as I felt like my body was no longer present in the physical

I snapped out of it quickly. “Oh Lord, my baby brother is about to turn 5. Will my sisters be ok?”. I couldn’t reach them immediately, they were in Warri at the time while I was in Lagos with my brother studying for our A-levels. I could hear my aunt’s voice, “We don’t know anything now, there may be survivors…”. I wasn’t listening, I also didn’t really believe her, I had quickly moved on to survival mode. At this time, I had not cried. We were taken to my Uncles house, where we found so many people crying and looking sober

I was thinking to myself, Why? What next ? What should I do mummy? How do I take care of 4 people?

I quickly realised, when you lose someone, theres nothing anyone can do or say to make you feel better NOTHING!!! I didn’t cry when anyone was around, I only cried from my sleep because in my sleep, I wasn’t thinking about how my siblings would survive. But my subconscious knew I had suffered a loss, so therein, I mourned. So many promises were made by uncles and parents’ friends but I think the most honest people said to me “All you have is one another”.

How true! Days and months and years ahead revealed the truth in that statement. I was scared my siblings would grow up without guidance. I wasn’t an academic genius so all I thought was how to find something to do to take care of my siblings. Help did not come where we expected but help came from people we had never even seen and never heard of. They knew my parents and came forward at the exact point we needed something to happen

I know not many people may have had their stories turn out this way, I can say that God truly is the father to the orphan. Today and at every memorial, I look back in gratitude. My lessons learnt;

– God always has a plan. You just need to trust and believe.
-The power of a praying mother never goes to waste

I have grown from being a scared, confused young Lady with so much uncertainty, to an executive in a multinational company and a very happy and fulfilled mother of 5 (My siblings and a beautiful baby girl). All lines have fallen in pleasant places and my gratitude to God and the people who came out of nowhere to help, knows no bounds

Written by Anonymous for diaryofanaijagirl.com

Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu

She’s 18, Nigerian, A College Graduate and Already Has Plans For Her Doctorate Degree- Meet Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu

Meet Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu

“My name is Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu and I am 18 years old. I recently graduated magna cum laude from Howard University with a bachelor’s degree in Chemical Engineering. I am planning to continue my studies with a Ph.D at UC Davis

My academic journey started quickly I guess, because I was double promoted in my primary school in Nigeria. I graduated from the British school system where the highest level of education was the 11th grade, and then went on to start at Howard at the tender age of 14 after studying for the SAT

I’m overwhelmed with emotions, it was just a happy day for me. I came into college for Chemical Engineering because I wanted a really broad field and I liked the idea of engineering, because its basically just solving problems Read: Work in Your Time Zone

I studied every day, Monday through Sunday, every day for four hours. My mum says it’s the best Mother’s Day gift she could ask for. She always pushed me. I would say she’s my biggest motivation. In my first test, I made 87/89, which is a ‘B’. My mom would tell me, “Nkechinyere, you are not a ‘B’.”

However, I don’t think graduating at 18 is a big deal, because it is common for children in Nigeria to graduate from High school at 16 years of age. But when everyone else said they were proud of me, I felt emotional to get recognition from so many people

I’ve never felt that learning was age related. If you were taught the material and are serious about learning, you’ll be fine- regardless of your age. I didn’t find courses any more difficult than the typical college student. I think I just had a really good support system

I want to help fix illnesses like Ebola and other diseases- major or minor. I want to help people in Nigeria”

The other woman

To Thine Own Self, Be True

To Thine Own Self, Be True

Recently I met with a potential client. During our conversation he said people had said different things about me while he was doing his investigation. According to him, one thing they all agreed on was the fact that I go after what I want aggressively and I’m never worried about mumblings about me.

They are right. I stand up for myself and refuse to take less than I deserve during negotiations.Men assume women shouldn’t be hard bargainers because they (women) don’t need as much money as men do. My client also said some called me the “B” word, that didn’t surprise at all but my focus has never shifted from the prize

There is no such thing as satisfying everyone, this is why I don’t listen or pay attention to talkers, especially those who do it behind me. People will call you every name in the book especially if you’re a woman who won’t take crap or allow herself to be cheated

We tip toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others, not because it’s what we believe in. Eventually our actions, appearances, and lives become moulded by how we think other people perceive us. This means you have given control to others, allowing them shape your path in life

Your job is not to make yourself likeable, it is to treat others exactly how you would like to be treated while staying focused on your goal. Even though they do not like you, they will always respect you and they won’t be able to hide it.

It is not your fault that people don’t have the patience or goodwill to get to know the real you before reaching conclusions.Even when some get to know you, they’ll still find faults where you don’t see any. People will judge you, you can’t control that too. Take a deep breath, then do what you have to do. The good part is , those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind

We are not on this earth forever, so let today be the day you take back the wheel from strangers, and “to thine own self, be true”

the first black PhD holder in Biomedical Engineering

“I Hawked Pepper On The Streets of Ibadan From Age 10”- Dr. Adeola Olubamiji, First Black PHD Holder In BioMedical Engineering

My name is Dr. Adeola D. Olubamiji and I’m the first black PhD holder in Biomedical Engineering from the University of Saskatchewan, Saskatoon, Canada

As the 5th child of 5, I always had to wait for my turn. I was the last, a girl child and raised by a mother who is a farmer and a father who has little. I hawked pepper on the streets of Ibadan as early as age 10 to help my mum. Went to public primary and secondary school in Ibadan. Attended OOU and studied Physics. Because I had a 2.1, it opened the door for me to proceed to Finland for a Masters Degree in Biomedical Engineering. During this masters degree, I worked part-time as a cleaner and did this after my Masters as well

Out of determination, I applied to over 100 schools for my PhD and finally got a full 3 year scholarship (later extended to 4 years scholarship) at University of Saskatchewan, Canada to pursue a PhD in Biomedical Engineering. While in that PhD program, I worked part-time as a makeup artist, teaching assistant, braided hair and fix weaves to make extra money Read: The Only Combined Cardiologist and Nephrologist (Heart and Kidney)Specialist in the World is a Nigerian, Dr. Olurotimi Badero

Today I walked the stage as the first black person to bag a PhD in Biomedical Engineering from University of Saskatchewan, Canada!!! I walked this stage for you Mama Africa and for my Motherland Nigeria!!! I walked the stage for all of you black women disrespected and looked down on!!!! I walked for all of you from my ghetto hood “Mokola”, Ibadan. I walked for all OSU students and ex-students that got that look from people who think we are not brilliant!! I walked for all of you Africans in Finland wondering what is next for you!!
Specially, I walked for you my parents. siblings and extended family in fulfillment of your dreams! Specially, I walked the stage for you my late sister Omoleye Olubamiji and my late mentor Ayodele Olatunbosun.

Today I walked for my future husband and my unborn children who patiently waited for me to fulfill my dreams so that he can have a wife he will be proud of and they can have a role model to look up to. I walked for all immigrants and all young adults who strived everyday chasing their dreams!!! I walked in celebration of the unfailing love of my first and one truly true love Jesus Christ (in you I walk in you I live and in you I have had and will continue to have my being)!!!

Be bold, be innovative, be different, be you, be everything you want to be but remember to put God first!!! Let no man, upbringing, money, circumstance, colorism, past mistakes, institution, company, partner, background, let nothing tell you you can’t do it. Go smart! Go hard!! Go for Gold!!! Go with God!!! Just Get Going!!!!

That Time of The Month

Yes, It’s That Time of The Month

Aha! That time of the month when everything and everyone seems doubly annoying. I stepped in an awkward situation

Yesterday I got home and found out the construction going on next to my house had tampered with our power and the owner of the building was dragging his feet about doing something about it

In my annoyance without thinking things through, I marched over to the construction site, where I noticed countless shirtless men working and some well dressed men standing around. I walked up to the group of well dressed men and asked one of them “Good evening, do you work here?” He shook his head and pointed at a young man. I walked up to the young man and before I said anything, he said with a smile “Madam we’re working on fixing the wire. Nepa people are on their way here. So sorry”

Shouldn’t I have just turned around and walked home? It was the time of the month, when hormones were everywhere. “So why are you now smiling?” I asked the poor guy irritably “you tamper with my light and you’re smiling?” Now he looked pissed “what do you want me to do now? I should cry?”

The man who shook his head at me earlier then decided to wade in “Just go back home. Nepa is 5 minutes away” I don’t even know why that got me more upset “please I wasn’t talking to you. I came to you first and you refused to answer me so stay out of this” I said . From nowhere one of the shirtless guys jumped down from whatever he was doing and walked up to me shouting “I will slap you if you talk to my boss like that again”…Ah! Wahala. Why didn’t I bring back-up? Why didn’t I just leave after the first apology? But as a voltron that my brain was convincing me that I was, I said to myself, “no retreat no surrender”

I stood up to the shirtless sweaty guy and said “You don’t dare! If your saliva as much as touches my skin, mobile police will pick you up in minutes” (Note: I DO NOT know ONE mobile police) “I am going to get my phone, if you say another word when I get back you will be picked up” I said this while walking away in fake anger. In my mind I was pushing my legs to walk faster, I didn’t bargain for slap please

I blame everything on “the time of the month!” Did I go back to the Lion’s den? If you ask me this question in the comment section, you’re a wicked somebody!

Chigul

“When my Marriage Fell apart, I Felt Like I Had Failed at Something” – Chigul

Read below an excerpt from the interview with Chigul with KemiAdetiba’s KingWoman on Accelerate Tv

“I married at 33 and married a virgin.

My husband and I had our happy times. We were married for about a year. We just got to a point where we both didn’t care anymore. It just sort of fizzled. I’ve been made to believe it was my job to keep the marriage afloat and the fact that it sank, I take on my head. It was supposed to be easy. I had the Indian theme of roses in mind. I didn’t understand how no one cared. Except for my brother. I was depressed.

When my marriage fell apart, I felt like I had failed at something and I had nowhere to land… I felt like I disappointed my dad. But no one was there for me. And I wanted to be able to go to my mum and cry and tell her ” I am tired” but she was just always saying “go back to your husband”. The worst was when I found out my husband has a child with someone else and I found out my mum knew. Read: Chigul, on the pressure to get married

My mum and I, clash of titans. We clashed over everything. My mum and I quarrelled over my grades, my relationships, my marriage…I resented her.




There were days I would get back home on Friday and wouldn’t get up till Monday except go to the bathroom or kitchen. It was one of the worst things that happened to me but also one of the best because it taught me a lot. I am now more responsible. I’m learning how to deal with men folk.

Would I have changed anything about it? No. Because it happened for a reason. I’m happy it happened at one year with no children, no attachments.

I have come across people that have told me I was no good and I would never make it and I was ugly. My self- esteem was literally in the out. I had little or no self-esteem and it affected me in a way that I saw myself become quite a people pleaser…

My weight has always been a sore spot. Always. My mum was worried because she had a brother who was big and had diabetic and eventually passed away. The worst thing someone ever said to me was on Instagram. It was a picture with a friend of mine and somebody said, despite the heavy make up “it is finally good to see Fiona from Shrek in person”. It hurt me so deep. Now I do work out everyday. I have a very good teacher and a supportive group.”

Rejection

My Real Life Definition of Pain

Pain.

A dictionary defines it as a highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by a wound or injury.

Me, I say pain is more than a physical sensation. It’s more than a throbbing that comes from a wound. Pain is more than an ache a drug prescription can heal or an x-ray can see

The tears of a broken heart. The groan of a disturbed mind. The screams of a crushed soul. The wails of a drained brain. That’s pain. The kind I feel. That which comes from my heart, mind and soul.

A mind burnt by failure. A heart broken by society. A soul crushed by life. Read: Tales From Biafra

Life gives more than joy and laughter all year round. Sorrows and tears creep in when least expected. Yet we smile for that’s what the world wishes to see.

Physical pain lingers only for a while..as an awareness that it was indeed at one time painful.

This pain has the unique ability to come back over and over again.. No one can see it, no one can feel it, just me

Heavens be thanked for the skin that covers the soul. Nature be thanked for its beauty that radiates the earth even in the dark. Grateful are we for scars that do not show on our skins.

In all, I await the new dawn. The dawn that brings happy songs to the lips. The dawn that brings sincere smile to the mouth. The dawn where I shall live again. Let the dusk pass for I weary in its darkness. The shine of the dawn I want to bask in.

For in the depth of my soul is a glow. In the innermost part of my heart is a light. In my mind, is a girl who wishes not to hide.

Let my glow shine. Let my light be bright. Let my mind be free. Let my ache be eased. And my pain be ceased

Written by: Zaynab Yusuf

Amitabh Bachchan

“Every Single Reason I’ve Been Rejected Has Become My Success Factor”- Amitabh Bachchan

“Every Single Reason I’ve Been Rejected Has Become My Success Factor”- Amitabh Bachchan

The journey to the top wasn’t a piece of cake for me. I’ve had my share of failures, rejections, losses and low moments

I’ve been rejected for several reasons. One time, I was once rejected by movie producers for being too tall, they said I was too dark skinned to be put on film. Another time I applied for a role on radio and I was rejected because of my baritone voice. But every single reason I’ve been rejected before now has become my success factor today

I constantly have to reinvent myself. When I was starting out as a young man, my movie career seemed like it was going nowhere. I had to reinvent myself in the movie ‘Zanier’. All of a sudden I had fans and a large followership. Producers began to call me for roles, they knew that once I appeared in their film, it would be a hit. They forgot that they had once called me ‘unfit’ for film. Read: “All You Can Do is Plant Your Seed in the Ground, Water it and Believe”- Tyler Perry

I once got injured on set of a film-Coolie; it was the beginning of health challenges. I had an intestinal injury and it [my stomach] has troubled me ever since. I’ve had to undergo several operations to deal with it. And each one has not been easy on my family. I was later diagnosed with myasthenia gravis [illness that causes weakness in muscles] and I thought of leaving the industry altogether

The amount of things I’ve been through and the way my body reacted has been phenomenal.No wonder I became religious, because you don’t know why something’s happening to you and you don’t know how you bounced back.

Another trying moment was when my production company went bankrupt. I almost lost everything. I thought to myself, ‘At this age, where would I start from? How would I support my family?’ I had put in so much into it, so much energy and love and passion, and here it was all crashing down around me. I couldn’t bear it.

Without a doubt that was one of the drakest moments in my 44-year professional career. It made me sit and think, I looked at the options before me and evaluated different scenarios. I got up and walked to Yashji (film director), who stayed behind my house. I implored him to give me work. That is when the worm turned.

Soon, I was able to pay back one and all. When they asked for the interest component, I did commercials in lieu for them.

“Koi bhi insaan chhota nah hota”. No man is small/insignificant. Here I am today, Amitabh Bachchan, not the actor, but the person. I overcame it all, and I’m not done.

Amitabh bachan is 74 Years Old.

sextuplets

Nigerian Couple Who Tried To Get Pregnant For 17 Years Welcomes Sextuplets

On May 11 Ajibola Taiwo gave birth to sextuplets. Three boys and three girls—by cesarean section at the Children’s Hospital of Richmond at VCU, United States. Taiwo was 30 weeks pregnant when she gave birth to her bundles of joy whose weight ranged from 1 pound, 10 ounces to 2 pounds, 15 ounces. While their mother was discharged on discharged her babies are still in the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit, but are doing well.

“I hope for the smallest of my six children to grow up and say,‘I was so small, and look at me now,’” said Taiwo, according to the hospital’s press release. “I want my kids [to] come back to VCU to study and learn to care for others with the same people who cared for me and my family.”

This is the first sextuplet delivery in VCU Medical Center’s history. My Prayer for Mothers Who Have Said Child Birth is Not That Painful

The hospital stressed that these types of deliveries are complicated and require a serious team effort in order to ensure a safe birth for both mother and babies.

“The team quickly assembled to begin prenatal management and delivery planning including pre-delivery drills and resuscitation exercises,” said Susan Lanni, M.D., medical director of labor and delivery and maternal-fetal specialist at VCU Medical Center.

“A typical labor and delivery shift includes one, perhaps two premature births, usually with time in between. We had to coordinate with our colleagues in the NICU for six premature babies to be delivered simultaneously.”

Hospital officials stress that Mrs. Taiwo and her husband Adeboye Taiwo worked hard with their doctors during her pregnancy.

“We’re going through this extraordinary journey together with the family,” said Ronald Ramus, M.D., director of the Division of Maternal-Fetal Medicine at VCU Medical Center.

“It’s not every day that parents bring home sextuplets. Mrs. Taiwo was eating, sleeping and breathing for seven. A lot of the support and encouragement we gave her to make it as far as she did was important, and one of the biggest contributions we made as a team.”

Mr. Taiwo praised the VCU Medical Center for all of their help and professionalism.

“The medical team is excellent in medicine and hospitality,” he said. “We are far from home but the medical team is our family. That is what got us this far.”

Congrats to the Taiwo family!

Ben underwood

“I’m not blind, I just cant see with my eyes.”- The Amazing Ben Underwood

“I’m not blind, I just cant see with my eyes.”- The Amazing Ben Underwood

I lost my eyesight when I was 2 years old…my mum says she noticed my right eye had a glow, kind of like the glow of a cat’s eye when caught in headlights. The doctors said it was a tumor, and we began treatment but at a point, it boiled down to ‘save my eyes and lose me’ or ‘save my life and lose the eyes.’ My mum chose to have my eyes removed. When I woke up from the surgery she said I screamed, “Mom, I cant see anymore, I cant see!” And she responded, “Ben, you can see, you can see me with your hands. Smell me and you can see me with your nose. Hear me and you can see me with your ears

Growing up, my brothers helped me a lot. My brother Derius taught me how to look for the seems under my clothing and the heels on my socks, so I could put them on correctly. And my little brother Isaiah was my eyes whenever we went out. When we would go shopping my mum would let me roam around and feel everything. When she was ready to go, she would go to the counter and start snapping her fingers saying, “Okay Ben, lets go.” I learnt to use my ears to find her.

I started practising echolocation because of her. She would take me down the sidewalk and let me echo to see how far it could go. I practised on hearing my environment, and things around me. Pretty soon, I could hear a trash can on the floor and pretty much anything stationary. I play video games, climb trees, ride bikes, roller skate, pretty much anything by ear. I even taught myself Japanese. People think it’s the end of the world when you lose your sight, but I can do pretty much anything I want to.

There was a time a fifth grader thought it would be funny to sneak up on me and punch me in the face. I chased him, clicking until I got to him and socked him a good one…He didn’t reckon on me going after him, but I can hear parked cars, walls, you name it…I’ve learnt to perceive objects by making a steady stream of sounds with my tongue, listening for the echoes as they bounce back. I can gauge distances like that

People ask me if I’m lonely, but I’m not, because someone is always around or I’ve got my cellphone so I talk with my friends. The hardest thing for me though is rejection. I can always tell when someone rejects me in any way. The thing I’m most scared of is water, but if I had eyes, its what I’d like most to see

I tell people I’m not blind, I just cant see with my eyes. There’s a difference.”

Ben’s cancer was in check until 2007, when he developed a tumor in his sinus cavity. Intensive treatment failed to knock down the disease. He died in 2009

Narrative culled from benunderwood.com, ABC News, OWN

Taraji P Henson

At The Age Of 26, Taraji P. Henson Ran Off To Hollywood With $700 And A Baby, Here’s How She Made It

At The Age Of 26, Taraji P Henson Ran Off To Hollywood With $700 And A Baby, Here’s How She Made It

1) You are the sum of your work and effort, not other people’s opinions.

“We went to Paris and screened the pilot [of Empire] for a thousand people. Lee Daniels [the series’ co-creator] brought me onstage. The audience stood up on their feet and clapped. I cried because, for so long in Hollywood, I’ve been told that black women don’t do well overseas, that they can’t open a film overseas. That moment for me was the best moment of my life. That’s better than any trophy, any award, any nomination. You know how they say music can heal the world? I feel that way about art in general.”

2) Trust your journey, avoid looking in the rearview.

“I don’t think about other people. They are not walking in my shoes. They are not paying my bills. What makes me happy is when I do what I like to do, for me.” Read: I Disguised as a Man To Work in The Mines

3) Your obstacles are only as big as the power you give them.

“When I got pregnant in college, people said, ‘This is it for her.’ But I did not stop. I never missed a class. I was in the school musical when I was six months pregnant—we just made the character pregnant. When I graduated, I carried my son across the stage. I wanted to be an actress; I moved out to L.A. with him. People were like, “Are you crazy, moving to California with your son?” My father was like, ‘Leave him home.’ I said, ‘I can’t leave my son at home.’ [And eventually] my father said, ‘That’s your baby. That’s your blessing. He’s going to be your strength.’ And you know what? He was. I didn’t have time to go to the club to “network.” That’s B.S. No business deals go down at the club. So I didn’t get caught up in that. I had a mission. I had to make my dream come true. If I didn’t, what was I proving to my son?”

4) Avoid Situationships! Develop Relationships with partners who are willing to grow with you

“I’m a mother first. I’m not trying to bring this guy and this guy around. I’m raising my son, and he’s gonna respect women, and that starts with me. [Dating] in the spotlight—I have to consider my son. I don’t want to make it uncomfortable for him when he goes to school with his peers. And I have to answer to my mom too.

I’m not twenty-something. I’m not trying to find myself—I know exactly who I am and exactly what I want. And I don’t want a fan. I want a man who understands me, who challenges me, who calls me on my sh-t instead of letting me get away with it because I’m supposed to be a star. I want a best friend.”

5) Fear is a Jedi mind trick that can cripple you if you aren’t careful

“Fear will cripple you, fear will kill you, fear will make you believe you’re not worthy. After 17 years in prison, Cookie feels there is nothing to fear. She made it out alive. In her mind that’s how strong she is. We all have that strength inside us. We just have to choose it.”

Via: Glamour Magazine

Lie I Was Told When I was Younger

I Am A Married African Woman; I Do Not Want Kids. This is My Choice

I Am A Married African Woman; I Do Not Want Kids. This is My Choice

“When are you planning on having your own children?” My mother asks in tears. This is a regular occurrence , happens most times I visit her. I had told her since I was 18 I didn’t want to have kids, I wonder why she thinks I’ll change my mind. I have never had that thing fluttering in my womb crying to be let loose, and like you will say, my ovaries have never developed goose bumps. Kids are adorable, I love them, I hang out with my nephews and nieces all the time but I still don’t want kids

Before I got married, I had a difficult time with Nigerian men accepting this fact about me. There was a time I was scared to tell my then boyfriend I didn’t want kids because I did really love him and saw us spending our lives together. “Sanmi, do you want to have kids in future?” I asked him one day while holding my breath. “Ofcourse. why?” he replied “What if your wife can’t have kids or don’t want to have kids?” I asked him again “All women want to have kids now…”. I noticed he wasn’t taking the conversation seriously. “Sanmi I don’t want to have kids, I have no maternal instincts” Safe to say he took me seriously then but we eventually broke up after he realized he couldn’t change my mind

When I met my husband, I told him on the 3rd date I didn’t want kids and if he wanted to run, that was the best time for him to do so. He proposed to me right there, even though without a ring. He said he had found his soul mate and he would never let go. Apparently, we both don’t want kids and have been broken up with countless times because of that.

I am tired of telling people I don’t want kids, because the looks and lectures I get annoys me and wears me out at the same time. I know I am an anomaly, an African woman who has chosen to be childless. No! we will not change our minds. There is nothing wrong with us. We are happy with who we are. I asked him before we got married, “what if something happens and you change your mind?” He then asked me the same. We both didn’t have an answer but here we are, 11 years after, still loving life, loving our extended family and content within ourselves and with each other

I am not selfish, or any less of a female. It takes more than a uterus to be a woman

Written by Oby O.K for Diaryofanaijagirl.com

Children's day

Children’s Day: “I Want to be The best Electrical Engineer in The World”- 13 Year Old Lekan

Because it’s children’s day today, we brought back Lekan’s story and his childhood dreams

My name is Lekan. I am 13years old. I have always liked to repair things from a young age. Things like television, Iron and DVD players interested me. I would pry them open when they don’t work and find a way to make them work

These days, after school I come here to learn how to do it better. MY mother advised me to come to this workshop so that when I want to repair things at home, I can do it quicker. When I’m confused, I borrow phones so I can go on the internet to read about some problems I’ve encountered. This really a lot.

DANG: Knowing all these now, would you still like to go to University?

Lekan: Yes. To study electrical electronics. I know it now and after university, I will be the best in the world.