Tag Archives: domestic violence

“If Your Husband is ‘Naturally’ A wife Beater, You need To Help Him Mange It”- Empress Njamah On Domestic Violence

“If Your Husband is ‘Naturally’ A wife Beater, You need To Help Him Manage It”- Empress Njamah On Domestic Violence

“If Your Husband is ‘Naturally’ A wife Beater, You need To Help Him Manage It”- Empress Njamah On Domestic Violence

“I will say this on domestic violence, when a man hits a women, it’s domestic violence but when a woman does it what is it called? The truth is some women are headstrong and they can traumatise their partners mentally and drive them mad. You need to work together with the man, if he is naturally a wife/woman better…” – Empress Njamah tells broadwaytv

Dear Empress Njamah,

In the US alone, it’s estimated by The Huffington Post that at least 3 women are killed by intimate partners each day in the US – over 1 thousand per year. This is in the US alone not to talk of Nigeria where there are hardly laws to protect the victim. Then you say, “women should work with their husbands to avoid being bashed?”

I am Sentimental towards the victim, not the gender so let’s be clear here. There’s nothing called “a natural beater”. Everyone has a responsibility to control their anger, except ofcourse we’re animals. In which case you’re saying we should train snakes to become friendly pets? Read: Mercy Aigbe’s Domestic Violence Experience

There is no excuse for DV. Anyone should walk away from situations that are unhealthy and go find a solution from afar. A man who is being nagged continuously by his wife or whose wife’s character he detests should step away from the marriage until they can both amicably learn to respect each other. Hitting anyone into submission or acting right is barbaric, it is time we all must unanimously say “No” to Domestic Violence

We have laws for a reason, anyone who flouts them should be treated to its wrath. Madam, it is not okay, let it not be heard from people like you that “instead of walking away, manage it”. It is because of statements like yours that people die untimely while trying to “manage it”

The other man who lodged in Kirikiri for 7 days will think twice before hitting any woman again. People are beginning to take this seriously, this is how it should be

Life is Too Short to Attach Yourself to Anyone’s Boxers

Women like me are tagged “radical”, “fiery”, “tough” etc but I since realized a long time ago that my happiness stares me in the face.

I’m solely responsible for my own happiness.

Marriage doesn’t validate or quantify one’s success.

I’m not a manager of happiness. It’s ALL or NOTHING with me.

Prayers are good but only when both souls agree to it.

I won’t whittle out for anyone who doesn’t prioritize me.

I’m Afolake. I’m different. I’m not scared of societal labeling. I validate my own truth.

As I’ve prepared myself as a treasure as a wife then he who marries me, must be lucky to get me.

No half measures. No second guessing.

Life is too short to attach your happiness to another’s boxers, moods or emotions.

I will continue to challenge the unfounded traditional myths that equates marriage with suffering. NO. The status quo must change and give way.

There’s no special place in heaven for best Miss or Mrs.

Till we rid ourselves of the congenital and societal backed belief that marriage is the solution to life’s problems, certain women shall continue to live in grief, violent, grey and toxic marriages.

No woman’s worth should be validated by marriage much less an erring husband returning home as a prized possession.

This is my creed. _ Folake Oyetesho

“Despite The Constant Beating, I Stayed Because of my Children” Mercy Aigbe

Nollywood actor, Mercy Aigbe whose marital troubles caused by domestic violence have been making waves online, shares her story exclusively with Broadway TV.

Mercy had accused her husband of physical violence that has affected her sight and caused her to bleed internally from the alleged physical abuse on Sunday, April 16, 2017.

When she was asked why she came out to say her husband never touched her, she was quick to refute it. “I never for once came out to say that my husband did not beat me. The video people were referring to happened in 2013 when there were rumours of such and I did a video recording alongside my husband to debunk the claim. At that time I had to do it to protect his image and my marriage. I had to do a live video at that time”, she said. Read Dear DANG, Abusive Men Change

Read excerpts from the interview

On the beating and why she stayed: He beats me consistently I stayed because I loved him and because everytime he beats me, he begs and gets family and friends to beg me. He promised regularly to change but he never did. When my husband gets angry, he gets physical, not only to me but to anyone. He has done that with my house help who reported him to the Police years ago. I stayed because of my children and because a lot of people look up to me. I was a role model of some sort and I really wanted to keep it together. I just wanted a home.

On why she wants to leave now: It’s not like I wanted to walk away but I just feel like we need help. I spoke to my husband’s brother about it. I told him I was going to pack out for some time while my husband seeks therapy. I just wanted to feel safe, that is why I moved my things out. This last beating was brutal. I actually thought I was going to die. I’m still coughing and sneezing blood even after three weeks.

On the day of the incident: Mercy had informed her husband that she was attending a burial of her colleague. After his hesitance, she explained that it would not be fair on the lady since she had promised to be there and even invited him to come along.

Mercy revealed that it was her refusal to go and pick her husband up while she was still at her designer’s place that brought the fury of the man on her. He was said to have driven there and started to beat her in the presence of everybody.

She said: Immediately, I opened the door, he kept beating me. I was begging him and asking why he was beating me. He said he would destroy my face such that no makeup would fix it and destroy my career. He was acting like someone who was possessed. I told him “Lanre, mo ma bi mo fun e” (translated as “I have a child for you).

On her husband being detained: My husband was in detention for over seven months and I never left him or go anywhere. Why would I want to go now? He says all this is make-up. He is not showing any form of remorse and still sponsoring lies against me.

To My Sisters, Don’t Ever…

Don’t Ever
To my sisters…

Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re disposable whether it be your president, your government, or your abductor

Don’t ever let a man tell you you’re not important whether it be your father, your brother, or your lover. Don’t ever let a woman tell you you’re not worthy of love whether it be your mother, your sister, or yourself

And although we cannot control the lies our minds concoct in an effort to cope with the unthinkable, don’t ever allow yourself to believe them for longer than you need them

Don’t allow for your beautiful eyes to fixate on the evil of this world

Don’t allow the vision of your future to be blinded by the injustices of today. There are stories untold waiting to be delivered from your lips. Doom is not your fate, your destiny begs for your resilience

Don’t ever let someone, any one, steal from you your desire to dream. Your right to live beyond mere existence. Your stubborn clench on hope

To my sisters enduring this pain, don’t ever let someone convince you that you deserve to be mistreated and abused. Nothing is wrong with you, but everything wrong with the minds and depraved hearts of your captors

To my sisters… You matter. Don’t ever believe otherwise

-Beulah Osueke #ToMySisters234