Remember how one time I told you I listen in to strangers’ conversations and give my opinion in my mind? You also remember how we all agreed it is only human? Ehen…
So, yesterday, I went to see Heartbeat the Musical (It was fantastic), I sat behind a couple and heard them arguing before the show started. Here is “our” conversation below:
Male: You don’t hug someone you don’t know that well like that is what I’m saying.
Female: (cuts in) How do I hug him? Side hug? C’mon nowwwww.
Me in my mind: Yea, me too. I hate side hugs. It’s childish.
Male: But I’m telling you I didn’t like something and you’re telling me to “c’mon now”. Are you for real?
Female: I don’t see any reason for you to be uncomfortable. When I give your friends full hugs, you don’t complain.
Male: My friends don’t squeeze your boobs tight when you hug them.
Me in my mind: LMAOOOO. Jealousy oshi.
Female: (Laughs out loud)
Me in my mind: Exactly. Very funny.
Female: Okay I’m sorry. Ma bi nu (I’m sorry). (She pulls his head closer to hers and gives him a forehead rub.)
Me in my mind: Awwwwwww!
Female: I won’t hug someone I don’t know that well like that again.
Male: You should have just said that instead of arguing.
Me in my mind: SMH!!! Babies!
Female: (Rubs his head more and gives him a peck) I’m sorry oooooo.
Male: (Shakes his head and Smiles)
Female: (Brings out her phone to take a selfie)
Me in my mind: Awwwwwwwww!
Male and Female start talking about snapchat.
I lose interest.
This is my public opinion on the matter. I hate half hugs, I feel like half hugs are childish. Like why hug from the side? Can everyone hug like adults?
The only thing is, I worry about some men and their pervasive ways. Even though I give full hugs, I try not to hug some men too tight. Why? Some men hug you so tight and spend far too long pushing against your boobies. I find this really classless and extremely inappropriate. Anyone who has tried this with me never gets a hug again, just handshakes and a very nasty side eye…for being a creepy worm!
This post was first published on the 4th of September 2017.