Should I go to my parents as my husband asked, or should I stay and work things out with the in-laws

3 October 15, 2018 By Dang

 I got married this year to the love of my life. However, prior to our wedding, I was having visa issues in the US, and we decided to come down to Nigeria for the wedding, and then work on another visa to join my husband in the US.

Things didn’t turn as planned, because my husband lost his Job in the US, and he hasn’t gotten another yet though there is a possibility of one in November. So money to apply for another visa has been our issue.

I was staying with the in-laws, everything was okay the first few months, until my sister in-law started acting funny, sometimes she talks down at me and I ignore because I don’t want problems. One day I overheard her making some derogatory comments about me to the house maid, saying how the house Maid was loyal to me because I give her clothes, and how her mother, which is my mother in-law doesn’t like me. I am actually older than this my sister in-law, however, most times she doesn’t greet me when she sees me, I normally call her and greet her, sometimes she answers and sometimes she doesn’t.

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I had to report to my husband, who wasn’t so pleased with the whole thing. My husband called his mother to let her know. She promised to handle it, but to my surprise, my mother in-law turned around and said I was trying to destroy her family by reporting her daughter to her son.

I was furious and I told her to her face that she was being partial. I have never spoken back to my mother in-law before, even when she talks down at me. I remember a time she scolded me in front of the house maid that I should common go and prepare things for soup and she also said I don’t know anything but I didn’t say anything.

But her saying I came to destroy her family, I was livid, something loosened my tongue and I couldn’t stop talking. Meanwhile, I made sure my husband was on the phone while all these was happening, unknown to the in-laws because I didn’t want anyone twisting what I said. My husband was so angry at the way his mother handled the situation, he asked me to pack my stuff and go stay with my parents, pending when he gets money to send for my Visa.

There are many things I cannot say, because it will take up too much space. What I want to ask is that should I go to my parents as my husband asked, or should I stay and work things out with the in-laws, as I don’t want my folks to be worried about me. My husband has vowed not to speak with his mother and sister again, and I have been begging him not to make that type of decision.

Written by anonymous for


3 comments on “Should I go to my parents as my husband asked, or should I stay and work things out with the in-laws

  1. Anonymous

    She needs to go to a place where she’ll be comfortable. She work things out with her in laws from there. There’s no need to stay in such a toxic environment. It can only get worse.


  2. TruthTeller

    Going to your parents Home doesn’t mean you stop attempting to work on your relationship with your in-laws if you so desire but staying there more than likely won’t help things. Sometimes space is best.



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