We discovered we were both AS but I was already Pregnant

6 October 05, 2018 By Dang

Anna met Dele…

I feel like that could be the beginning and the end of my story.

Anna met Dele.

Have you ever met someone who singularly divides your life into two? The time before and the time after him.

I met Dele. It was not a dramatic moment, it wasn’t romantic. We shared a cab from the airport. I arrived Nnamdi Azikwe Airport Abuja late one evening from Calabar. It was my first time in Abuja. I tried bargaining with the cabs I saw, they were ready to charge me a head and a foot to Gwarimpa, that was when he showed up, he was going in my direction and suggested we share a cab.

We were silent through out the ride. We got to my destination before his. He spoke for the first time,”Can i have your number? I would like to keep in touch”.

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That was it! Everything happened so fast after that. We were so in love. It was like finding a missing part of you and never wanting to let go.
I returned to Calabar but he kept in touch. Despite the distance, we would see every other week, I would meet him in Abuja or he would come to Calabar. Everyone around us knew we were in love. It seemed like fate supported our union, i got a job at a foreign embassy in Abuja. He got promoted at work and started getting several contracts. We moved in together despite warning from my mother to slow down.

Why slow down when everything was going so great? Why stand in the way of fate?

Our fairy tale romance continued. We were ecstatic when we discovered i was pregnant. We hurriedly started our wedding preparations.
Dele accompanied me for my first ante natal visit. We were asked to conduct a comprehensive screening since none of us was certain of our medical history.

It was that day we discovered we had the same genotype. We were both AS. I took this as a slight glitch, a little bump on the road till i turned to look at Dele. His face was ashen, the pain and confusion i assume he was feeling was visible on his face. It was the next words out of his mouth that ended my fairytale.

“Doctor, how far gone is she? Is it too late for a termination?”

I was weakened by his words. This was someone who was so excited at home imagining he and his son with their Manchester United jerseys. He was so sure i was going to have a boy. The Dele in the doctor’s office was a stranger to me. I began to weep profusely. He held my hand and led me out of the office.

“Anna, we need to talk”.

The talk that changed my life began. He told me how sorry he was but we could not have this baby, actually we should not be together. He had lost two of his siblings to Sickle Cell Anemia crises and he could not go through it with his own children. He said he had watched their suffering and the strain it put on his parents’ marriage. He was so sorry, we should not have the child and we should not be together that it was best to end the relationship now. I cried, i pleaded, i went spiritual on him how God would help us, how we could be lucky. I cried, i begged.

He left.

I had my baby, he was wrong. She is the most beautiful child i have ever seen. He was wrong again, her genotype is AS. He is wrong, he knows he is wrong but he would not come back.
I look at my baby and i am reminded that half my world is gone.

Written by Amanda Etuk for Diaryofanaijagirl.ng

 

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6 comments on “We discovered we were both AS but I was already Pregnant

  1. Lilian

    You would never ever know the pain of sickle cell, and it was really reckless and selfish to have sex with a mam without thinking about what ifs.




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  2. Ada

    I relate to this. I dated an amazing guy and at some time for no apparent reason I asked him about his genotype and he said AS. I was not concerned but since I was not particularly sure of mine, I went for a test and it revealed that I was AS as well. Atomic bomb!

    Long story short, it was one of the worse time of my life. Two horrible months of my life. Well, we broke up and yes we are still inlove but I am sure the feeling will pass and we know we can not br together. It is horrible to know that when you thought you have met the one, life throws you a curve ball.




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  3. Anonymous

    Thank God the child is AS. Out of 5 children, i am the only AS. When i was in secondary sch, i lost a friend (my name sake) to this. I lost another friend to Sickle Cell Anemia in my University days. The constant pain, fear, sleepless nights, while taking care of a child, takes its toll on the parties involved.




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    1. TruthTeller

      I’m confused. You said thanks that they have AS even though you’ve suffered and those around you have passed because of it? How strange




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  4. Christie 'Lana

    I understand the pain of having a child with sickle cell anaemia. My only concern is that the young man in question lost two siblings to the disease and did not bother to confirm his genotype or that of his girlfriend before proceeding to plan a wedding.




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