What Do I Do When My Husband Loves Me But Does Not Respect My Parents

2 September 18, 2018 By Dang

I have been married for 2 years and my husband is wonderful. I mean no marriage is perfect but we try to make it work. He is really understanding and hardworking. Unfortunately I have been unable to work for the past year because of my health and pregnancy and he has been really supportive. My problem is that while he shows love to me, he doesn’t extend it to my family.

My family is very close knit and I have a problem with this. For example he has subtly insulted my mom on several occasions by not expressing concern or showing appreciation. His mom has also insulted my mom directly for things that she doesn’t know about. My husband steers away from handling this mother in-law issue. Never admits his mom is wrong and as such is allowing resentment to simmer, between the mothers, him and my mom & him and my siblings. Imagine his mom did my child’s naming ceremony without any of my family there because she didn’t think it was necessary (I was out of the country for the birth).

Maybe he was an abuser, maybe he just handled hurt the wrong way, I will never know for sure

My husband sees nothing wrong in this and won’t even hear anything against her.His attitude is a complete I don’t really give two towards my family. I wanted a very big close knit in-law family relationship and I don’t know what to do. My mom doesn’t visit us, my siblings are also wary of coming around. I feel like it’s ruining my relationship with my family. He was friendlier towards them before marriage. I’m really confused and don’t know what to do. It’s starting to affect my feelings towards him. I feel like he is isolating me, am I wrong?

Written by anonymous for Diaryofanaijagirl.ng

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2 comments on “What Do I Do When My Husband Loves Me But Does Not Respect My Parents

  1. Anonymous

    This is similar to what I am going through, the family of my husband feels superior to my family. My mother was a hen and did her best to have a bond with in-laws so that no one feels left out or left alone or ignored. I am married to an only son and it irritates the life out of me that he doesn’t want to address issues and I am preventing the devil from taking over me.
    I make it my duty to take the contact of any family member I came across and try to reach out to them no forming of any sort but these people can’t even bring themselves to interact with my siblings or parents. In fact I have been told certain things that I keep asking myself how I was able to bring myself to give excuses for them. It is my parents who call his parents and try to keep in contact till they sensed they weren’t important. Events have been held without the presence of my family too. However, on social media we are one big family eye service of a family.
    My siblings are just watching and can tell something is not right because I am not talking normally I will talk and address any issue without minding who is involved… lmao. I have been disrespected so much even by his sisters that I have decided any respect from me will have to be earned 6 years is not beans. If you don’t give me my due in my own home, I will stay far away from you so that there will be no fighting match. If you think my family is trash, I will make you understand yours won’t come ahead of mine. I have tried to balance the beam so that I won’t hear “that is how she is controlling our brother/son to be all into her family and have abandoned his own”. God forbid not under my watch, my husband even has to hide to do things for my family because he knows I might stop him to avoid plenty talk.
    Anyway let me end my rant here.




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  2. Anonymous

    To be honest, I do not want to sound all churchy, so you might have to take certain decisions to get things done.
    Except you want me to tell you lies, I do not even know what you can do. I will not say pray because you prayed for a happy home already and not for small issues like this to scatter your home. I was once told the selfishness of men increases with marriage… that I cannot say for sure but it happens.
    It is true, in-laws feel entitled especially if you married their son. They feel like they have done you a favour and so your family owes them obesaince. Please talk to your husband, if it is not working then stop being the goody-two-shoes and give him a small dose of his medicine… Your family can plan events and not invite them too (that’s demonic abi). Do not call or keep in touch with his family and when he mentions it tell him it skipped your mind and ask if he has called yours etc. If he is a reasonable man he would get the message by the 3rd time (in case he claims to be slow).
    I don’t even know if I am alright telling you this…lol. I cannot actually tell you verbatim what to do because sometimes peace brings one turmoil where you have to struggle to get your head out of the happily ever after tales. Just tread carefully

    All the best




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