I’m not much of a writer but somehow I felt that if I just write my story and the post you shared about being a good girl doesn’t guarantee you being loved kind of spurred me . I might feel better and just maybe there would be light at the end of the tunnel.
I am the definition of a good African girl. I believed in washing, cooking, cleaning as a part of a ladies job. So as part of my good girl nature, I was recommended to this particular guy . We met and clicked instantly . I felt like I was finally complete.
I was so in love and loved..or so I thought . I was everything for this guy..up to the extent that I flush the toilet when he FORGETS to without any complaint .
Trouble came knocking when I got knocked up . I had no choice but to keep the child and down the road, I had a missed abortion. Truth be told, I was a little bit relieved . Eventually, I had to go for an evacuation and all that…I went through all that alone with my money and my tears . I got to find out that he had been seriously playing me all this while.
I WAS DEPRESSED. I thought of committing suicide more than 4 times but somehow, I couldn’t go through with it . I am a very lively person so I put on the facade of a happy person but deep down, I was dying inside. I resorted to drinking just so I could sleep through the night. After 3 months, I tried to convince myself I was healing but the truth which I have now accepted is that I am not healing . Anytime I see him, my heart still skips a beat and is then preoccupied with the thoughts of making him face a fate worse than death. At a point I got so self absorbed with day dreams filled with me torturing him.
Eventually I stumbled on your page and a few others. Got to love some of your write ups and they helped me . I’ve not totally healed . In fact, I am far away from being healed but at least I’m in a journey towards it and I know it’s going to take time but I’ll finally get there. It’s quite funny that I have lots of friends and I am always there for them but not even 1 person could notice me gradually slipping away.
Written by Anonymous for Diaryofanaijagirl.ng