I attended a family friend’s 40th birthday yesterday. Walking in, the first person I saw was my childhood church crush. I crushed on him from when I was 13 till around 18 years old but not once did he ever speak to me or return my smile. Oh was he fineeeee… EVERYONE wanted to roll with him.
We’ll call him David!
I would talk about him to my mum like we were best buddies.You know, slip in his name during after church conversations like we rolled together all day and had lunch together after service.
One Saturday afternoon, I went with my mum for choir practice and David also drove his mum to church. While our mums exchanged pleasantries, I tried to go talk to him so my mum could see we were best friends for real. As I was smiling and walking towards him, he was walking in the opposite direction, I whispered his name so my mum wouldn’t hear or see me act the fool, but he never looked back.
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My mum was watching, and she said to me once we started walking together again “You aren’t really friends with him, are you?” I shook my head and couldn’t control the tears that flowed. She was furious at me and if I had expected pity, I didn’t get it.
Mum went further to say: “Never ever allow anyone humiliate you like that. You are special, you are funny and intelligent. They should be the one moving mountains to be your friend. Is this how you cry after boys in this church? Stop it now! If no one sees how special you are, I do! And one day, someone mature enough will see it too. Wipe your tears and stop embarrassing me.”
Typical of African mothers….scolding and loving you at the same time.
It took me a minute, but I realised I didn’t really know the guy, so why was I so desperate to be in his corner, especially when he made it his mission to treat me like crap.
Yesterday, I saw David for the first time since 2003. I walked past him and noticed him staring and I smiled inside of me. After some minutes, he walked towards me and said “I know you right?”
Me: “I’m sure you do.”
David: “Please remind me.”
Me: “It will come to you, don’t worry.”
I didn’t mean to be sassy but he was already tipsy and his breath stunk. He tried severally to catch my attention but I formed “busy” till he finally left me alone. I won’t lie though, It felt gooooooooddddd.
At a certain age, we struggle so hard to befriend people who won’t take a second look at us and we forget that we are special ourselves. If only we can see the future, we would understand that we should not force things.
Hopefully, we can teach our kids earlier in life to be their own cheerleader and that their worth is not measured by being popular or being part of a popular group.
This post was initially published by diary of a Naija Girl (Instagram) on the 18th of October 2015.