He says he has forgiven my infidelity but he still won’t let us continue dating

7 September 05, 2018 By Dang

I’m burdened by an issue of forgiveness.

This topic has raised a lot of questions in my head yet I am left perplexed and confused. I have been in a fix for almost 2 years and I am here questioning myself on which decision is the best to make. 2 years ago, a relationship of almost 8 months crumbled before my eyes due to carelessness. I cheated on my boyfriend which led to our break up. It was not intentional or planned but it happened because someone else played the role of a bf when mine didn’t. My bf and I never stayed in the same town but that year I had a training which brought me to his town for almost 5 months. In that time, I can count how many times I saw my bf. I practically begged him to see me and make time for me.

Things like that just made me keep drawing away from him. Communication wasn’t the problem because I always told him about it but he wasn’t just ready to let someone into his space because he was used to being alone. When the cheating happened, I lied to him because I knew I wronged him. He wasn’t the best of bf when it came to doing the relationship thingy but he was a good person. When he knew the relationship was falling apart, he kept reaching out to me but somehow I wasn’t in the space to go down that lackadaisical attitude towards the relationship.

He broke up because he was hurt and somehow suspected that someone else was giving me attention and trust me I never saw it coming. I was broken and hurt because I know he is a good person but was not perfect being in a relationship. I cried and begged for another opportunity but he didn’t bulge. I went back to my town and resumed work and I still kept pleading to be taken back. He asked if I had cheated and I lied because I felt it would only make things worse. I travelled twice to see him just to show my remorsefullness but nothing changed. I spoke to someone about it and he told me to tell him honestly about everything. I told him about everything and he refused to talk to me for days.

My husband’s story has shown that God, hard work and determination never fails no matter the obstacles

A friend of mine had to beg him on my behalf before he decided to hear me out. He eventually forgave me and he said that he tried getting back with me but his head wasn’t ready for it so he put it on a hold. He told me to move on but I can’t seem to do that. I’ve been struggling since. We talk almost regularly if not for the fact that he is really busy this period. He still respects me and treats me right and even planned to come see me in my town but he doesn’t want to get into a relationship. Not to exaggerate but I’m a really good and nice person. I’m decent and all of that.

The event that happened taught me a lot and I really matured. I’ve been asking myself if really he has forgiven me. To me, he doesn’t want to let go but then he doesn’t want me to stay. I love him very much. It’s been almost 2 years since we broke up but I love him. You could even pass us for dating but we are not. Recently he’s been really occupied with his business because he wants to resign from his job so we haven’t really been close of late. So what now do I do? I’ve been so sad and depressed and the other guys I meet either want to sleep with me and I end up putting some other guys on a pedestal. I’m confused though.

My question is why doesn’t he want to take me back. He keeps saying that people break up and get back together but I dunno what’s happening. He’s so matured and sincere but not very open.

Written by anonymous for Diaryofanaijagirl.ng

SHARE THIS ARTICLE

7 comments on “He says he has forgiven my infidelity but he still won’t let us continue dating

  1. Anonymous

    Actions have consequences. He can only now talk to her as a friend cause he knows that her indiscretion will be a constant issue if they get back together. Not only did she cheat, she rubbed salt into the wound by lying about it. When you have issues in a relationship you deal with it. Only weak and selfish people choose to deal with it by cheating. It’s been two years. Both of you should move on and carry the lessons learnt into new your next relationship.




    3



    0
    Reply
  2. Stephanie

    Honestly, you should have broken up with him when he wasn’t giving you the attention you needed. That’s not an excuse for what you did but it helped it along. I would say let him go. Grieve the relationship, learn what you must, put on your big girl pants and move on. You’re not doing yourself any favors by hanging around because trust me he will not be taking you back. He may have forgiven you, but forgiveness and reconciliation are two very different things. My two cents.




    3



    0
    Reply
  3. Anonymous

    How can you be so blind to see that he never loved you, cheating was just an excuse for him to make it official or give a reason to his break up. You are so in love that you really can’t see it.




    1



    0
    Reply
  4. Bussie

    My candid advise is to move on. A relationship requires commitment and dedication which neither of you was not willing to give at that time. you should brave up and let it go, move on with your life with valuable lessons learnt. @ years is a long time to hang around waiting for him, not likely to change anything, so just move on. All the best. I hope you forgive yourself too.




    0



    0
    Reply
  5. Grace

    He is not going to get back with you. Girl we have all lived it. More often than not, the damage is already done. He would have gotten back with you by now if he wanted to. He is just hanging around till you get his wedding invitation.




    0



    0
    Reply
  6. JaY

    Like Stephanie rightly said, forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.I know it will be difficult but please let go and move on cause he might meet someone else, move on and that’d hurt so bad




    0



    0
    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    wow, quite a story.
    You cant blame him really. My hubs always say that if anything ever happens and i cheat on him; he will break up and NEVER come back together. This is one thing he’s been saying even when we were just frnds – that is who he is and i have accepted it.




    0



    0
    Reply

Leave a comment

You can ignore name and email and it will be Anonymous.

%d bloggers like this: