Rejection is one of those things that we all have to deal with at some point in our lives. There’s always going to be women that don’t want to go on dates with you, promotions that you don’t get, or famous basketball players that don’t want to come visit your house because they think you’re kind of a douchebag.
While your first reaction to rejection might be to declare you don’t want that person to come over anyway, that type of “I’m taking my ball and going home!” reaction can often look childish and insincere, because it is.
Here’s how some experts suggest dealing with rejection a little better.
Learn From Rejection
Inc. suggests that rather than simply dealing with the pain of rejection, “mentally strong people ask themselves, ‘What did I gain from this?’ so they can learn from rejection” and turn the experience into an opportunity to self-growth. When you look at things this way, then every time you’re rejected is another learning opportunity.
Treat Rejection Like Losing a Game to Handle It Better
Getting rejected feels like crap. How you respond to it, though, can make all the difference. To…
“Whether you learn about areas in your life that need improvement, or you simply recognize that being turned down isn’t awful as you imagined, rejection can be a good teacher. Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom,” Inc. suggests.
Keep Your Odds in Mind
Know ahead of time what your odds are for success in a situation. While you can’t run actual numbers of whether to not a woman is likely to accept your dinner invite, if she’s expressed that she dislikes you in the past, you can guess that your chances aren’t very good.
Psychology Today says “Keeping the odds in mind makes all the rejections along the way more tolerable.” It says that knowing your chances of success are low isn’t a reason to not try at all. Only 2% of job applications actually lead to jobs, and you never know when you’ll actually be in that 2%.
That said, it always pays to know your audience. If you’re trying to connect with someone or a group that you’ve had poor interactions with in the past, you may want to try a few smaller positive interactions before going all-in on a big ask that might get rejected.