You know how we watch sports movies and the sight of cheerleaders during break time lift one’s mood? I have learnt to have that effect on myself. I am blessed enough to have wise people around me who are loyal and are rooting for me but alone in my room, when I don’t get the response to emails, when I hear too many “not at this time” or a project goes south, I have only myself.
Today at work, we cancelled a project, one that we’ve spent money on and I just couldn’t find it in me to shake the feeling of loss and disappointment. Why would you work so hard and things sometimes don’t turn out right? Why must the process be so tough and unpredictable, causing one anxiety attack, leaving you standing on your toes, looking out for the sun to finally rise?
The world is hard and too many disappointments can literally choke you and tighten your chest, leaving one with a feeling of hopelessness and the urge to drop it all and run away. I told my friend, “do you know what I want to do right now?” He waited for me to tell him.
“Run away,” I continued.
I was suddenly tired, my head had become heavy and my eyes burned with unshed tears. People were around me but all of these turmoils inside me was experienced by me alone. I allowed myself to feel all of these because cancelling that project was the icing on the cake in a day of “waiting to hear back”.
After a while, because I hated that feeling, I turned on my inner cheerleader.
I must be clear, I don’t have all the answers to my issues or daily challenges but I have a gift: I’ve always marched forward, like I have no Army.
What does it mean to turn on my inner cheerleader?
Inside me, I am seated alone in a large stadium, watching myself on the field in my short checkered skirt, skimpy top, holding up my sparkly pom poms, jumping and dancing to Kiss Daniel’s “Yeba”. And when he says ‘uncle stop touching’, I push my hips back, hands on my waist and wave the sparkly pom poms all over the invisible uncle’s face and physically, I catch myself giving the uncle a side eye. This immediately cracks me up or at the least causes me to smile widely.
As my imaginations slightly fade off, I make another call, send another text message, re-forward an email, pray… then get back to work. This works for me 95% of the time.
So, bearing in mind that your happiness and your reason to go on must come from within, it is your duty to continually cheer yourself on. So, when the walls are closing in on you, take a minute, close your eyes, imagine you’re in a stadium all by yourself, cheering yourself on to your favourite song, then get back to fighting the good fight.
When disappointments and failed promises begin to choke you, REPEAT!