Cheating: Should It Only Be Connected To Sex?

3 July 19, 2018 By Dang

A big question lays in my heart – oh, so heavily, seeking an answer, wanting to find the truth. What exactly does cheating mean?

At what point in a relationship can you boldly say a partner cheated or you cheated? Are there rules that guides how much importance one should give to a particular kind of cheating? These questions may seem so much but I think they are important.

I have a neighbor who just recently proposed to his girlfriend and he tells me she has been with him for about 6 years. While he stays in Lagos, his babe resides in another state but they always find time to visit each other.

One day jokingly, i asked him “Have you ever cheated? I mean cheated on your babe” To this, he responded sharply, “Never!”

I don’t know what got into me but somehow I wanted to hear and know more, I was wowed! NEVER cheated? This is great. So I asked, “Not just sex o. Emotional attachments to another lady, financial cheating, romance with another lady, anything you do with the opposite sex you do not want your girl to know.”

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At these questions, he floundered a bit, smiled sheepishly and said – “I have not slept with another girl on this my bed.”

So without him answering the questions I had thrown at him, he gave me proof that he was actually guilty of cheating but cheating smartly acquitted him of all wrongs.

I stand to be corrected but I am of the opinion that cheating does not always have to do with sex. You could be cheating your man emotionally, financially, and then through sex.

People need to learn that the fact that a woman is keeping her body just for you or because a man keeps his phallus in his pants does not mean they are innocent of cheating.

Once you begin to make sneaky movements, sneaky chats which you know will hurt your partner, ask yourself again if you are truly guilty of cheating.

I have been in a relationship with a man who never touched another lady physically but gave his heart and thoughts to her and kept insisting to me that he was faithful.

If we will go into relationships, why not go into one that will edify us? When the spark is dimming in your love life, why not seek ways to reignite it? Why equate cheating to sex alone when we know it is absolutely more than that?

Written by Ayo Al for


3 comments on “Cheating: Should It Only Be Connected To Sex?

  1. Ms OA

    ”I have been in a relationship with a man who never touched another lady physically but gave his heart and thoughts to her and kept insisting to me that he was faithful.”
    This right here is what I’m dealing with in my marriage and he goes ‘that should be the least of your worries I haven’t slept with anyone since we got married’. This is my sad reality. I don’t know how else to handle it.


  2. Happily Married?

    Sadly that’s the state of my marriage too. Several times with several different ladies, even some that claim to be ‘respectable’ yet I’m made to look like one who’s making a mountain out of a molehill because after all “He hasn’t slept with anyone of them”. As my sister would say, “Na from clap dance dey start”. How do we deal with this? I don’t see him the same way anymore and I find that I’m mostly unhappy when I think about my home. I don’t know if this is right but I’ve resolved to play the same cards, at the very least maybe I can find some happiness (or at least some distraction)from interacting with someone else. God help us


    1. Ms OA

      OMG!!! Are you in my head? This right here was my resolve to get some distractions too. I tried it a few times but it’s not who I am. I got his cousin to talk to him at least from a married woman’s perspective and so far we are improving but it’s a state of mind…Till now he doesn’t see it as a big deal. Sending hugs to you. You’ll be just fine.



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