The Bold Step I Took Moving Out Of My Parent’s House And How It Worked For Me

11 July 18, 2018 By Dang

 

 

I knew telling my Dad I was moving out -regardless of the fact that I was in my late twenties at the time- was perhaps the most difficult thing I would ever have to do.

So I did it via a text message.

Chicken abi? Yes, I know!

Before you crucify me, let me give you a background. My Dad is the strictest person I know. I lived in fear of him, every decision I ever made growing up was made in fear of his reactions. He was a disciplinarian. God help you if he fids you talking to a boy on the street, you will hear it. He had standards and expected same from all his Children. He expected us to have the best results from school and I was never the least in class but I wasn’t always far from it.
The cane was always waiting for me.

Yes, the fear of Baba was the beginning of wisdom.. at the time. Confronting him about my decision to move out was a nightmare. I told my siblings and everyone thought I was mad. My sister was sure pops would disown me. She also talked about Culture and tradition. A young unmarried woman moving out and staying by herself was not customary, it was a taboo. Many people actually had a lot to say. People had their opinions about the issue. I had mine too.

When asked why I was moving out, my response was/is that I wanted to be accountable to myself, to live life outside the decisions and fear of my Dad. I needed to take on the world and make my own mistakes, wanted freedom, I wanted to meet “Me”, needed to know myself before attaching myself to someone else. Craved my own space,I was too comfortable in my parents house, in the protection they constantly offered…I wanted to know what I wanted in life … I wanted a lot and I knew I had to get out to get it.

READ ALSO:  When is A Good Time To Move Out of Your Parents' House?

After a lot of consideration, I did what I knew how to do best. I wrote to my Dad and I poured out my heart. The text message ended with this sentence, “I know you don’t always approve many of my decisions, but you have raised us well and I hope you trust me enough to make this one”. I clicked “send” and then went to my office toilet to pray and ask myself what I had just done. An hour later, pops replied and said he’s wishing me the very best and God bless me.
Ahhhh! Issalie! It definitely cannot be this simple.

How much can I fight for someone else’s child?

He was watching T.V in the living room when I got home, I was in deep shit.

“Eku ile Sir”, I said
“Kaabo o”, he said with a smile.
Okay, so far so good. I went to my room, expecting him to call me and start the scolding.
Nothing.

Summoning courage, I met him, apologized for telling him I was moving out through a text, explained why I couldn’t face him. And he gave me his blessings.

Phew!

Looking back, I’m glad I made that decision, I think I’m better for it today. For many people, it’s not just about moving out, it’s about knowing what you want and actually doing it. I’ve learnt responsibility, discipline, independence, self motivation, learnt to be happy with myself, I’ve met God, I’ve learnt personal finance and budgeting, after all the bills won’t pay itself. Plus I have the best housemates! We call our place “Wakanda” Haha!

Best part is, my Dad and I are now buddies.

READ ALSO:  When is A Good Time To Move Out of Your Parents' House?

If you haven’t moved out, tell us why and if you have, kindly share your experience.

Written by Titilola for Diaryofanaijagirl.ng

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11 comments on “The Bold Step I Took Moving Out Of My Parent’s House And How It Worked For Me

  1. Anon

    Since I came home from completing my post-grad studies abroad, I had been itching to leave home. My friend in a different state kept encouraging me to join her, so we could live together, but I needed a job first. I just couldn’t stand the constant errands, scoldings, policing, and everything else that comes with living with one’s parents as an adult. The opportunity did not present itself till I got a job in a different state. I was elated. I lived alone for a few years before I decided to get married.




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  2. Anonymous

    I so much love this post . I am not gonna start giving you the whole details of my experience staying at my parent ‘s , which is my mom . My mom is synonymous to your dad , that’s if she isn’t even worse than your dad . Of cause we all know how African Mothers can be , strict , protective , disciplined and they have embraced African culture with everything in them . My mother was counting down for me when I told her I was done with my Nysc . I got back to base , have stayed with her , for about a year and half job hunting . The worst part of it all is that she won’t even let you leave the state to another state in search of a job , so I have basically done the online job hunt and called people who can refer me to a job opening any where . Any way , I can’t tell how many times I have shedded secret tears to God for my freedom from home to my own space . I have always wanted to be that independent lady and still will wanna be that before I will be a wife to a man . Just like she said , do my thing , foot my bills , take care of others. I was raised and I have inculcated the art of being different and decent amongst others and she knows . I am already counting down in faith and with hope that I will be out of the house before the end of next month . “ I speak in faith “ because that’s what I can envisage .
    So that’s my boring story , I love this post though … ??




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  3. Angel

    I so much love this post . I am not gonna start giving you the whole details of my experience staying at my parent ‘s , which is my mom . My mom is synonymous to your dad , that’s if she isn’t even worse than your dad . Of cause we all know how African Mothers can be , strict , protective , disciplined and they have embraced African culture with everything in them . My mother was counting down for me when I told her I was done with my Nysc . I got back to base , have stayed with her , for about a year and half job hunting . The worst part of it all is that she won’t even let you leave the state to another state in search of a job , so I have basically done the online job hunt and called people who can refer me to a job opening any where . Any way , I can’t tell how many times I have shedded secret tears to God for my freedom from home to my own space . I have always wanted to be that independent lady and still will wanna be that before I will be a wife to a man . Just like she said , do my thing , foot my bills , take care of others. I was raised and I have inculcated the art of being different and decent amongst others and she knows . I am already counting down in faith and with hope that I will be out of the house before the end of next month . “ I speak in faith “ because that’s what I can envisage .
    So that’s my boring story , I love this post though … ??




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  4. Cherry

    I want to move out, I feel like it would help me figure out my life path but getting out if my comfort zone scares me. What if I can’t keep up with rent, feeding etc. I don’t know




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    1. Titilola

      I had a “stable” job. I knew rent and utilities could be a problem so I made sure I got a flat with housemates…so we split the cost on everything. It’s easier that way.




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  5. Kristy

    This is what am facing right now… I live with my mom and she believes it’s when I want to marry I move out and am 26… She fought with me on this issue but trust me that’s the best way for me to be a better person cause have realized staying with your parents makes you relaxed and you tend not to push harder And realize time waits for no one…. Thanks for sharing this and I like your courage too.. GoGirl




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  6. Fritz Nyarku

    I shared a house with my friends for 2 years when we were schooling and i must admit it was an interesting phase in my life.
    I am back home and will like to continue living on my own but the salary i currently earn cant sustain the area I want to live in so I am back to living with family.




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  7. Anonymous

    Wow! I haven’t moved out because I don’t have funds and a steady source of income yet but once I do; I’m going to plan, strategise and MOVE OUT!?




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