Meet DANG, Your New Boxing Featherweight Champion, Weighing 69kg and Limping from Over-Sabi
I am going on vacation in a week’s time and my bikini body isn’t as neat as I want it to be. I’m running almost every night and working out from home but my love handles have stubbornly maintained their position. So yesterday while running, I passed by my gym and I thought to myself “stop by and let your instructor motivate you harder”.
Sweating and breathing hard, I branched at the gym. I told my instructor my situation and asked how he could help. He said, “try boxing, you have plenty energy, you might like it”. I quickly eyed the heavy bag, there was a lady punching away…she seemed to be enjoying herself and breaking a sweat. Hmmm, this might be interesting
The lady hitting the bag was boxing and kicking the bag at the same time. I wanted to do that too. My instructor gave me huge gloves that fit on the wrist but felt heavy on my hand. He then handed me over to the trainer and said “just have fun with it”. As I was waiting for the trainer to finish up with the lady and start with me, Small Doctor’s “penalty” came on. I started bouncing on my feet like Mayweather. Throwing punches in the air and working my waist. I was getting excited. The trainer told me “I like your spirit”. I told him “I’m ready when you areeee”
“Chin down, knees bent always, right toe parallel with the left knee, let your body control your head, hands up protecting your face, elbow by your hips…” The trainer bellowed out instructions. “When can I start kicking?” I asked him. He said “no kicking, just hands for now”. I did as I was told. He then asked to be excused to quickly attend to something. While he was away, I practiced my stance.
He was taking forever so I started punching the bag. It felt harder than I anticipated but I felt good. Then the devil whispered in my ear, “kick the bag, the trainer won’t know you did”. I looked around, the guy was nowhere in sight so I pulled back, raised my legs high and made the “heeeeeeyyyyaaahhhh” sound then kicked the heavy bag. Everything seemed to happen at the same time. The bag hit me instead of me hitting the bag, it felt like my hip bone had dislocated from its socket, my shin was on fire and I landed with a thud on the floor
I didn’t know what to hold, my hip or my shin, or my bum that landed heavily on concrete. What is this life? I came here all excited and I’m going to leave in an ambulance? That trainer looked mean, I wasn’t sure he would look kindly upon me when I told him I did exactly the opposite of what I was told. I managed to get up, walked around to figure out what was broken, everything seemed fine but my right hip hurt like crazy.
When the trainer came back, I sucked it all up and did boxing 101 for another 30minutes. Because bikini body…
After the training was done, I had never felt so tired in my life. Muscle fatigue, legs were hurting like hell, arms, neck, everything hurt so much. Even though I limped home, I still felt good. When my friend called me later on FaceTime, she asked me “why are you frowning now?” I couldn’t tell her that I wasn’t frowning, that at that particular time, all the muscles in my body had lost the capacity to move
I’ll be going back tonight. No retreat, No surrender. Anthony Joshua, your wife is about to have EVERYTHING in common with you. Wait forrit!