Another Embarrassing Story: An (Un)usual Afternoon
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m about to tell you my biggest problem: MY FACE!
Hold up before you call me vain. I’m not talking about my looks, I mean my expression. I cannot hide it, I try but as I’m thinking it, my face is describing it.
Did I ask for this problem? No.
Have I tried my best in life to sort it out? Yes.
On Thursday I was home all day so when I got tired of sitting by my work desk, I decided to take a walk. It was daytime, not many cars were around so I stepped out of the estate. As I exited, a very nice car was pulling over some distance away from me. I admired the car but turned up my nose when I saw the smallish man who alighted from the car rush over to the passenger side to take a leak
“I hate when men do this”
This was the thought in my head when he did a sharp 90-degree turn as if he had dropped something. My gaze should have been on his face but the turn made me look down and again, my facial expression betrayed me. I gasped!
Oh my goodness! I just saw his ‘willi’ and it was astronomically ginormous. My mouth was open in an ‘O’ shape, my eyes wide and my neck arched to the right instinctively. I looked at the smallish man and the situation below and I was astounded, was such size possible?
I was staring. Not polite.
As soon as I got myself together, I quickly looked away and walked faster away from the situation. In fact, I crossed to the other side of the road.
What happened next, I didn’t plan for.
“Hi. I’m so sorry. I think I may have embarrassed you” Said a voice behind me, jolting me from my thoughts as I was wondering if I just saw what I saw and how I would get the image out of my head. What could I have done differently? Why me?
It was the smallish man, doing a small jog behind me. As if it was an afterthought, he took a nanosecond to remotely lock his car then his face was back on mine.
“No way!!! get away from me!” were my exact thoughts. This man had scarred me and now he’s apologising.
“Oh no. Please don’t apologise, I didn’t see anything” Error. Error. Error. Why did I say that? What is wrong with me?
“I’m so sorry. I thought I heard someone call me that’s why I turned around. The road was quiet, that was why I parked to quickly take a leak. I’m so sorry” The smallish man said again. He looked so sorry and contrite which made me giggle a little bit while I said “Really, it’s okay”
I heard the giggle in my head, sounded like my 2-year-old niece. I shook my head in my mind, I need not make another sound.
He smiled then said, “Can I make up for this? Seriously I feel like I should. Please give me your number”
What phone number? ‘Eees’ like this man is trying to try me. I will not be associated with that! I’m a child of God. I was at the second gate of the estate so I quickly escaped into my safe zone and left the physical evidence of my trauma behind
One problem though, I have a photographic memory. Brain bleach…anyone?