Forgiveness: One of The Paths I Chose to Freedom
In my adult life, I have experienced extreme disappointments from people. There are so many things I don’t deserve that has happened to me via the people I had loved and trusted. There was a time it continuously piled up, I began to lose faith in humanity and the goodness in people. I would dig deep, write down the events and try to pick out where I had gone wrong for someone to betray me or cause me so much pain but most times, I really didn’t do anything. It was what it was.
In this case, forgiveness was harder. More than the pain of betrayal and disappointments though, was the pain that accompanied the struggle to forgive. Going over the past in my mind, remembering the person’s offence…this was painful. It used to be quite easy for me to forgive but when the betrayals, disappointments and heartbreaks piled up in a space of time, my heart became hardened and my spirt hoarded grudges.
Can you see how I entangled my heart and spirit in the web of the past? See how I allowed these same people who have caused me hurt to still control me even though they aren’t physically around to do so anymore?
There was freedom on the other side but I was so angry that I chose to stay in that web even though every day, I would tell myself “you’re wasting time, forgive and move on” But then I’d remember and the web of resentment would bind my spirit tighter. One day, I stumbled on a tweet that said “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different” I was weak. All these while I have been trying to change the past by staying in that web of anger and bitterness when I could have lived in the present and be free? All of that pent up negative energy left me like magic. I let it go, I let them go and even though some of these people never asked for my forgiveness or even tried to make amends, I made peace with them in my spirit.
For me, it was that easy because unconsciously I was already tired of being entangled in that web but holding on had become a habit.
Ever since I read that quote, it’s been easier to forgive people. This doesn’t mean I accept such people back into my fold but I don’t get angry anymore when I see them or hear them speak. In fact, I am cordial when I need to be and it is not me being pretentious. When you have big plans for your life like I do mine, you really don’t want anything clouding your mind that’ll distract you from your goals and your plans. You want a mind devoid of negativity so that positive energy can help you sort out your aspirations, this way, giving you a clear path as to how to proceed.
Oprah said about forgiveness “Make a decision to meet the pain as it rises within you and allow it to pass through. Give yourself permission to let go of the past and step out of your history into the now. Forgive, and set yourself free.” Karma? I Have Become an Employee to a Subordinate I laid Off