Making The First Move: That Time I asked A Guy Out on A Date
I have never been one to play games, especially now that I’ve come into my own but, I’ve always believed men are hunters and would rather do the chasing. So, when I like a guy, I don’t pretend not to but making the first move has never been my MO
However, I did it that one time and I’m not sure I’ll do it again.
He came home from “the abroad” on holiday. He’s family friends with my friend so when he asked to hang out with her, she asked me to join them. We got to the club/restaurant first and were already drinking and dancing when he arrived with his crew. They went the opposite direction so I didn’t see their faces but from behind, I crossed my fingers, wishing the tall big guy wearing a white shirt with graphic at the back was part of the crew. I had not seen his face but I already felt a pull.
Then he turned around and smiled at one of us and the attraction I felt towards him was like magic. I turned around so he wouldn’t see my face so by the time we were introduced, I had composed myself and feigned disinterest in whatever he was saying to the others.
When we were seated, he asked the guy sitting beside me to get up so he could sit. There was a little bit of friendly banter but his friend eventually vacated the seat for him. In my mind, I was like “score!”. He didn’t waste time in striking a conversation with me but it was quite noisy so he typed on his phone, “Can we go outside and talk?”. I nodded and followed his lead
Throughout the night, we were stuck together. Not one person amongst the group could deny something was going on but when we were leaving, he simply walked me to my car, gave me a hug and said “goodnight”.
“goodnight?” Not a plan to see me another time or soon? I’m not really understanding. What was all that gum body about when you’d just send me home with a hug?
For two days, he called but never made any arrangements, we just talked on the phone. We even attended a party together but despite him being around me a lot, he didn’t attempt to ask me out. I decided making the first move for a date won’t kill me. So, I took the bull by the horn before this guy travels back home.
I texted him
“Pick a day between tomorrow and the next, we’re going on a date” Message delivered
10m later – Not read
My confidence was dropping.
“Don’t feel the need to say yes. It’s okay really” I sent a follow-up. Message delivered.
20m later – Not read.
“I have made a mistake, how can I abort mission?” I thought to myself. Making the first move didn’t feel so liberating anymore.
I decided I was going to take the ‘L’ with my chest. Guys take the L all the time and they’re still alive and breathing. But, my chest said “No, this is not my L to take”. Because my chest felt heavy, my heart was beating fast and I couldn’t bring myself to sleep. I checked my phone every 5 seconds and at one time, I switched it off because I was going crazy.
When I finally accepted that I had been rejected, my phone beeped. almost 1 hour later.
“Lol. Yes boss lady. I would like to go on a date with you”
“That took you long enough” I replied
He explained that he was at a party and didn’t hear the message notification.
The date went well. Very well in fact. But the relationship was a disaster. I don’t regret it but I’m not sure I’d do it again.
Is making the first move your thing? Have you ever asked a guy out? How did it go? If you haven’t, why? Read: My Embarrassing Fart Story. Oh, Hello China