Being The Other Woman: Letter To My Lover’s Wife

Photo credit: Absolutearts 24 October 24, 2017 By Dang

Dear Ma,

I’ll address you that way because I still have the utmost respect for you and your home.

I never expected to be writing this letter, and I am pretty sure you never expected you would ever have to receive a letter from someone like me.

First of all, I would like to apologize, apologize for ruining the trust you have in your husband.

Apologise for almost ruining the relationship that looks so perfect.

Apologise for the way you found out about us.

No amount of apology can be enough, and all that’s left are questions, questions unanswered.




He was my superior at work, I never saw him in that light, it was just supposed to be an innocent chat to check up on him and find out how his exams went, as this was to determine a big promotion. Gosh, he was so witty and free, what was to be a check-up-chat developed into a serious chat.

How could our so stern looking boss be this free? I wondered. So out of curiosity I invited him to my place for drinks, what was to be just a bottle of red wine and few laughs turned to two bottles, plenty laughs and a long conversation. (Oh yes he spoke about you. How he respects you so much, can’t imagine what his life would have been or would be without you…)

I should have taken a cue and walked. He said I reminded him so much of how you used to be before the marriage

I should have turned down the request to party.




I should have been the stronger link.

I should have stopped the second I realized it was more than sex, the second he made me feel valued, the second he made me feel wanted and needed… the feeling was so good, almost intoxicating it took over every ounce of rational thought. Read:I Was The Mistress But I Never Wanted Him To Leave Her For Me

Even after I met you, I still couldn’t cut the ties.

I chose to be his mistress.
I chose to be ‘you’ before you got married.
I chose to fulfil his fantasies.
When you had a fight and threatened to leave him, I chose to support him emotionally. Still, I watched him fight for you.
I chose wrong.
I chose wrong because at the end of the day you are still the main wanton. You are the home he has built.

Everyone makes mistake, I am not a bad person, I am not heartless, really I am not. I helped him set up that nice Valentine’s date.




I helped in purchasing that dress, I also sometimes help him do some lingerie shopping for you when I travel abroad.

You hate me, who wouldn’t? Sometimes I wish we could talk, I wish we could sit in a lounge and have a really nice chat, so many things I would like to tell you about him. I think he’s broken, broken from bottled up feelings he can’t express to you for some reasons.

I can’t go back and undo what has happened but I promise to make this stop someday.

Yours sincerely,

The other woman.( Countess)

Written for Diaryofanaijagirl.ng by Countess C.

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24 comments on “Being The Other Woman: Letter To My Lover’s Wife

  1. Miebi

    Great Story and i hope many sidechicks can actually come to their senses some day and the wives bond with the ladies to actually make their marriage stronger.




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    1. Anonymous

      Really? so side chicks should advice the wives how to get back the charm of their marriage. So the wife is the issue? Well the wife is always the issue Na.




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  2. Ree

    It takes a certain kind of woman to be a side chick.
    How can you have sex with a man knowing fully well that he is going home to another woman.
    No dignity! Go look for your own!




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  3. Anonymous

    My lover is a good man and he does not love his wife, he appreciates and respects her like a mother and senior sister. That to me is greater than love. I’m in it for the money plus I can “stand” him because he is actually a kind and considerate person. I’ve learnt so much from them as a couple. They are always talking about who to help and who to assist financially. “Give them, give am”. Those are the words she says to him. “God bless you ” she is always praying for him like a mother. I feel so sad because he turns onto the other side of the bed to f**k my brains out after all this “amen, amen”. Sometimes I feel so sad because the woman is GOOD. She is going through menopause and while complaining to him about the whole thing, his hand is inside my blouse. He never takes his ring off and he uses the same hand to finger me. One night, I left the room and just cried myself to tiredness. I can’t stop now. The woman is kind but this man has helped me so much. This man’s kindness is one that I even intend to reciprocate when I make in life. She will never read this but Mummy, I am sorry. Please forgive me. I am sorry for defiling your home and kitchen. I am in tears as I type this. Jesus please forgive me




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    1. Anonymous

      Get lost. You are just a shameless bitch and you won’t go unpunished. May any man you love also view you as a senior sister, and may they always finger other women with the wedding blessings you hold so dear. Oloshi olosho!




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    2. Karma

      Sweetheart, when or IF you do make it in life, karma will come calling and you will learn the parable of sowing and reaping in its entirety. She doesn’t know about you but God does and unfortunately for you, she’s also a praying woman. You will definitely get what’s coming…. 2,5,10 years down the line but Sugar, best believe it’s coming. This fake remorse isn’t fooling anybody. ‘I’m sorry’ also means ‘never again’ but in the same breath, you also said you can’t stop so you’re not sorry. Till your bountiful harvest comes, enjoy?




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      1. Anonymous

        It’s low self esteem that will make any woman agree to be Number 2.However, I’ve always wondered about this karma. Does it mean that the wives that get cheated on are also being paid back in their own coin?




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        1. Ex-wife

          No it does not mean that. People make choices. It does not mean the perdon being cheated on is receiving some just reward. But I have witnessed sowing & reaping in the life of the individual who is dealing the dirt, if they do NOT ammend their ways.




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  4. Anonymous

    That’s the way life goes. A man is rarely satisfied. Poor side chics being used. Wasting their otherwise blissful future away. Women should know their worth and this menace will be curbed. As for the men If your wife is so bad/old fashioned/not great in bed and all the other complaints leave her na! No you can’t! What about you Philanderer are you great in bed like before marriage! Do you look awesome and young like before marriage. Please cheating or having a side chic or being one is a thing of the mind. Know thy value and the rest will follow. No married man should be worth giving up your chances of finding a good man for. He found his happy and walked down the aisle. Find yours too. And for all of you who think it’s great that the side chic should talk to the wife! About what exactly.. do you think she knows the man more that his wife smh! Wives are eagles and side chics the turkey! Thanks for the service! We can enjoy our sleep at night. KMT!




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  5. May

    My heart bleeds for all involved. I pray God’s mercy triumphs over judgment in this and I pray GOD gives the wife the grace to deal with this in Jesus Name.




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  6. Anonymous

    I’ve read the article up there and also of the lady in the comment. I will not judge. I’ve learnt not to judge situations until you have faced same situation yourself. I’ve learnt the phrase “never say never” from experience.

    My story as I can say it;
    I got married a few years ago. Before I got married, I was celibate for about 6years. I had become born-again so wanted to concentrate my life.

    So you can imagine my excitement when I got married. I wanted my marriage to be everything. Got married to what I thought was a God-fearing good man.
    The marriage was everything marriage should not be. He cheated on me from the first day of the marriage. He beat me, talked down at me infront of friends and family. Sex was just a once in a week kind of thing, if it ever happened. I was frustrated, cried and depressed. Remember I was a Christian so leaving my marriage to me was not an option. I stayed. I can’t even remember anymore the number of girls Ive counted in the last 5 years. My family, His family, His friends and my friends all hinted on how they will not mind me leaving the marriage. I had become a shadow of myself.
    Before marriage, I was a slim, tall and very pretty girl. I mean very pretty. Not your every day pretty, but extremely pretty. Even with with kids, I get passes from men both young and old.
    After a few years, I decided to start having friends, go out more and try to be myself again. Then I came across an old friend, we’ve always been close. He had ways liked me and I was over fond of him. We had been friends forever and the only redon why we stopped being friends was because I got married.
    I started to talk to him again. He’s a much older married man and he was always ready to listen to me. Something I never had in my marriage.
    Long story short, he gave me everything I wanted in my marriage. He made me happy. So happy that every one noticed the change in me. A phone call from him was all I needed to make a bad day good. We became closer than ever before, and before I knew it, we had s_x. It was the best I had ever had in a long time. Long before I got married, long before I got celibate. This was someone I had known over a decade.
    Adding the s_x to our relationship just made us closer, almost sole-mates. My life became brighter. I wanted to live again. I became truest happy. I stopped nagging, i was able to concentrate on myself and my future, not how unworthy I was made to feel. The sex was not regular, but anytime it happened, it was everything.
    I don’t want anyone to judge me or throw stones at me. All I wanted to be was happy, but it seemed I found it in the wrong place.
    I’ve learnt not to judge anyone. I used to throw stones at people for having Pee-marital sex m, but see me now. Do I hate myself, yes I do. But I hate my husband more. I pray to God to intervene, and He and I talk about it every night.
    It’s iust such a twisted world.




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    1. Ex-wife

      You know what you’re doing is wrong you just to fill in your own desires you married you need to stop having sex outside of your marriage if you and God are truly talking about it every night then you know you need to stop it you cheating on your husband you’re outside of the Covenant you being selfish I’m not judging you if you are who you say you are and you serve will you say you deserve the word is already judged you plain and simple get it right or you know what it’s going to happen you have time to get it right I’m telling you because I know get it right and get it right now if you have respect for your creator and you want to stay married you have respect for your husband stop it




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  7. Anonymous

    What do you want in life? Step away from the judgements yoy have made about yourself. Forget other people’s judgements! Those who are ‘weeping’, ‘hate’ themselves asking God for forgiveness. Who are you outside of the affair? Who are you without this relationship? What will you do when your affair comes to light or if you fall pregnant? Nothing stays hidden forever. Secret love is always sweet because the light of day has not exposed the darkness of what you really have: a shadow of love, a counterfeit. Step away, start again I ask again what do you really want? because the love you are settling for is far less than your worth. Everyone has made mistakes, don’t let past decisions tell you who you really are.




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