On Relationship Drama: I Want Love That Gives me Peace of Mind, Even When There’s Conflict
I saw an image on Instagram that read “I want a love filled with madness, sleepless nights, storm…”
THIS IMAGE MAY BE MISLEADING.
I’ll take the passion but miss me with the rest of all that
As you mature, relationship drama begins to drain you emotionally. You avoid dysfunctional, stormy, neurotic, and drama-driven pathological relationships and choose peace instead
When I was younger, chaos and controversy was fascinating, I accepted them whole heartedly in my relationships and sometimes would go look for drama when things were quiet. I could create mayhem out of nothing and get excited by it all by myself. God help me if I was with someone who indulged me….
I thought all the intense conflict of forces was passion because then, the make-up sex would be out of this world. I soon found out all that drama, storm and madness would disappear with the same intense force it appeared
I also found out, my relationships that devolved into repeated emotional turbulence were non-nurturing and plagued with insecurity. I know this because I sometimes created drama as a way of gaining reassurance. Read: Introducing My Spirikoko Nasty Neighbours: I Love Them Already
Now, I don’t even want to kiss in a hurry anymore, I don’t want madness, I don’t want love at boiling point…because I’ve had all that and I’ve had the love that brings peace and the difference is like night and day
The love I crave is like a volcano…no one can deny its existence and its power even though it is not erupting on the surface
Some people assume there’s no passion when a couple have this kind of love: where both of them are externally content, where the buzz is silent, where you don’t hear them raise their voice at each other…This doesn’t make their love less powerful, it only makes it more potent
A relationship on the path of purpose does not have space for drama, because maintaining a strong, happy relationship requires so much work and energy. So if you’re serious about each other, there’ll be less room for storm and more room for building a solid foundation
Storm, drama and sleepless nights are fun for a while but the love that lasts, is the one without a cloud over my head. It’s the one that brings peace to my heart…even when there’s conflict