On Relationship Drama: I Want Love That Gives me Peace of Mind, Even When There’s Conflict

6 October 19, 2017 By Dang

On Relationship Drama: I Want Love That Gives me Peace of Mind, Even When There’s Conflict

I saw an image on Instagram that read “I want a love filled with madness, sleepless nights, storm…”


sleepless nights

I’ll take the passion but miss me with the rest of all that

As you mature, relationship drama begins to drain you emotionally. You avoid dysfunctional, stormy, neurotic, and drama-driven pathological relationships and choose peace instead

When I was younger, chaos and controversy was fascinating, I accepted them whole heartedly in my relationships and sometimes would go look for drama when things were quiet. I could create mayhem out of nothing and get excited by it all by myself. God help me if I was with someone who indulged me….

I thought all the intense conflict of forces was passion because then, the make-up sex would be out of this world. I soon found out all that drama, storm and madness would disappear with the same intense force it appeared

I also found out, my relationships that devolved into repeated emotional turbulence were non-nurturing and plagued with insecurity. I know this because I sometimes created drama as a way of gaining reassurance. Read: Introducing My Spirikoko Nasty Neighbours: I Love Them Already

Now, I don’t even want to kiss in a hurry anymore, I don’t want madness, I don’t want love at boiling point…because I’ve had all that and I’ve had the love that brings peace and the difference is like night and day

The love I crave is like a volcano…no one can deny its existence and its power even though it is not erupting on the surface

Some people assume there’s no passion when a couple have this kind of love: where both of them are externally content, where the buzz is silent, where you don’t hear them raise their voice at each other…This doesn’t make their love less powerful, it only makes it more potent

A relationship on the path of purpose does not have space for drama, because maintaining a strong, happy relationship requires so much work and energy. So if you’re serious about each other, there’ll be less room for storm and more room for building a solid foundation

Storm, drama and sleepless nights are fun for a while but the love that lasts, is the one without a cloud over my head. It’s the one that brings peace to my heart…even when there’s conflict


6 comments on “On Relationship Drama: I Want Love That Gives me Peace of Mind, Even When There’s Conflict

  1. Dee

    This is the truth. I was the high octane, high maintenance girlfriend. If there was no problem, I would create one. Now, I’m just chill. My man for a while thought that because I wasn’t creating drama, I was losing interest in the relationship. I had to explain to him that I still loved him, but my soul wasn’t up for all that turbulence no more.


  2. Anonymous

    Like you, been there, done that. I’m married and used to threaten my husband whenever we fight that I was done. Now we’ve gotten to a point where we know our love transcends everything else so even when we quarrel, we both know its only temporary. We know no one is going anywhere and we are stuck together for life. Lol. Its a very comforting feeling and I feel thankful to God


  3. Pingback: The Real Definition Of Cheating In Relationships | Diary Of A Naija Girl

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