Dear Iyabo Ojo,
Yesterday, Punch Newspaper carried an interview of you bluntly saying you cannot marry a poor man. I admire people who are honest with respect to criteria, especially in a society where women are not expected to make demands of men. Wanting a successful man who will not feed off you is fine. I nodded in agreement until I read the sentence “I am a celebrity and I am expected to maintain a certain lifestyle, which is expensive.”
You are a fantastic actress, a brand ambassador, a business woman…You have everything it takes to attract a successful man. However, your statement gave me pause as you have made it seem like you cannot maintain the lifestyle you portray on social media hence the need to marry a rich man for the sole purpose of keeping up with the Jonses. Read:My heartfelt Prayer For The Writer of This Sexist Tweet
Ma’am, a working woman gets tired, no matter how strong we are, we crave assistance still. Regardless of how much I make, I insist that my partner gives me shopping allowance when I travel. It doesn’t matter if he is richer than me or not. Both of us have to be responsible for each other. So, I understand the need for support. But, putting it out there that your expensive lifestyle needs to be funded…one wonders what happens if hard time comes and this man is not able to fund the lifestyle anymore. Clearly, you want more than you currently have, and you also seem to want more than you think you can generate on your own. For this, you need financial stability.
Please note, Financial stability only comes from wealth – owning things that are valuable throughout many different circumstances, like savings, investments, and property- not from spending and funding an expensive lifestyle.
As we have seen time and time again, most women who married solely to fund their expensive lifestyle have quietly stepped out of their marriage because at the end of the day, shoes, bags, vacations…these things don’t massage your heart when unhappiness hits you.
To be clear, it’s not wrong to want someone who has money, just as it’s not wrong to want someone who’s attractive, smart, good, funny, or has other desirable qualities. However, I feel like that statement if taken hook, line and sinker by those who look up to you, divorce rate will continue to climb higher and organic growth and patience in building a home will be mostly thrown out the window. I worry about the example that is being set for our kids
There is an old saying – If you marry for money, you will earn every penny.
Here’s hoping that the world might be a slightly more discerning place – for our kids. I have found that the growth of two people, getting old and learning together makes for a great marriage. . Call me old school but this is my opinion.
In all of this, I will still say, to each his own.