Cabo Travel Diary Day One: My Ex is Here. When We Were Together, I Was in A Serious Relationship All By Myself

Photo credit: Todd Goldman Gallery 27 October 04, 2017 By Dang

Cabo Travel Diary Day One: My Ex is Here. Here’s How I Found Out I Was in A Serious Relationship All By Myself

I have heard that my Ex boyfriend will be arriving Cabo today for our mutual friend’s birthday. Because I’ll be doing a journal entry on the day we see and our reactions, I’d like to give you a recount on how we broke.

It’s funny but true when I advise people to never be in a serious relationship by themselves. This is what happens when a guy tells you in words that you’re in a serious relationship but his actions speak different. But as a desperado that I was, I believed words over actions. Here are examples of the things he did that should have made me know I was being strung along.

1. Cancelled trips: “I’m traveling to France next month” he says to me. “Wow thats such a good idea, let me move things around so I can travel around that time too and we can be together “in the abroad”.

In my head I was already seeing romantic situations and wonderful shopping moments. In hindsight, I noticed his expression changed but I was a “M.U.M.U” back then so bad signs never stuck. Some days later he says “I don’t know the dates of the trip anymore, it all depends on my brother”. Then, soon after that, “I’m not going to France anymore” he says. Guess what? Yours truly already bought tickets

Did I mention the EX stayed ‘in the abroad’? After he cancelled the trip to France, I insisted I’d travel to go see him in America first then head out to France. So I asked him ” Are you paying in full for my ticket or you’d like us to split it?” He instantly got upset “How can you ask me that knowing all the projects I’ll be embarking on. Buy the ticket yourself please” I knew he could afford to split with me, I felt a bit uncomfortable that he would speak to me that way and not make any effort to pitch in but I shrugged it off.




Because…love.

2. He chose everyone else over me, including his dogs: I repeatedly told the Ex that I’m allergic to dogs and would ordinarily not worry if I didn’t have such aggressive allergic reactions to them. I said to him “when we marry you know we can’t have your dogs in the house. Please could you find a way around it?”. He told me “I’m not letting my dogs go for anyone, including you. YOU will have to find a way around it”.

Well..that made sense, no need asking him to inconvenience himself for me.

I told myself I was being selfish. So I called my allergy doctor to ask what I could do if my ‘husband’ insisted on having dogs at home. The doctor said “You absolutely cannot be around dogs and if you insist, you’ll have to take shots or pills everyday which will eventually stop working because your body will get used to it”. I sent a text to the Ex to let him know what the doctor said but he insisted he wasn’t letting his dogs go. I was okay with it, I’d just find a way to work around things.

Are you shaking your head for me yet? Hold your head in place, I’m not done.

3.Disregarding and Minimalizing my feelings: When something comes up and I ask that we talk about it, He’d go completely silent: On one of those (frequent) days when I would feel heaviness in my heart because I knew I wasn’t being treated right and everything just felt wrong, When I begin to talk about what upset me and how I felt (I made sure not to make accusations) he’d go mute. When he decides to speak, he’d tell me what I feel is my imaginations playing a trick on me and it’s unwarranted.Then, he’d change the topic. That’s it, conversation over.




4. I was always wondering what I did wrong: Because he was flippant, never went out of his way to do anything for me, rarely kept his promises and always made me feel I was the problem, I was in continuance doubt of myself and always wondered what I did wrong and how I could better myself.

Because I was holding things in, one day, I flipped out via text message. He called me the next day, spent a little over a minute on the phone saying “I can’t do this anymore, I need to break this off. NOW”. Read:Every Potential Date is Not a Potential Mate- Don’t be A Wife to A Boyfriend

Foolish me said “No you can’t break things off. That’s not how it’s done. I’m sorry I sent that message but you never put me first or consider my feelings, I was tired of being treated that way…” He cut in “I don’t care, I’m done”. He cut me off, then called two of my friends to tell them he had broken things off. He needed validation from them that he wasn’t a bad person…he didn’t get it.

This relationship strained me so much, I started sleeping early and waking up late to stop myself from confronting reality. Truth is, I shouldn’t have dated him in the first place, there were circumstances surrounding him that I should have known to flee. But, I was gooey eyed and thought I had found love and met “husband”.




I eventually dealt with it and saw things clearly. I also found out we were never going to be together seriously, he had no plans for that, he only said that to me for my own sake. I moved on happily after I realised I’m not perfect but that break up was staged and delivered at the right moment.

I knew we’d see in Cabo as it’s our mutual friend’s shindig but it’s been a while since I have given him the slightest thoughts.

We’re here now, in Cabo, not seen each other since then and as I write this, I haven’t seen him. I laugh at myself hysterically when I look back at how I behaved but I also smile in content at how much my life has changed, become better and whole since then.

Updating my Cabo Travel Diary as Matters unfold…

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27 comments on “Cabo Travel Diary Day One: My Ex is Here. When We Were Together, I Was in A Serious Relationship All By Myself

  1. Anonymous

    ????? we have all had our fair share of mumu-ness. I have had mine too. ??? when I think about it I just laugh. E.g When my phone spoilt for 5days and the uncle didn’t even know why because he never checked up but I mumuishly made excuses ???. How about that.




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  2. Anonymous

    I am currently detangling from a mumu situation. Everytime we accidentally meet, he tries to drag me back 1000steps withput commitment ofcourse. Mumu-me actually allows him too. Lol but I will be fine




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  3. Anonymous

    This is so me, but I’m glad I was able to get myself out of the ‘mumu-situation’. It’s not usually easy for us ladies when love is involved but we all deserve to be treated right regardless. Can’t wait to read the sequel.




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  4. Anonymous

    How about forgiving a man who brought another woman home the same night i was in the house ?. He actually thought I’d be asleep by then! Guess what!? I forgave him that same morning. Mumu on fleek!!




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  5. Anonymous

    I just got out of a relationship like this…when I started complaining he broke up with me…still trying to find myself back again…




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  6. D

    those of you that can break off are actually lucky *sigh talk of those of us that had to reduce our standards just so we could be married and not cross the age of 30 b4 tie ing the knot. At the long run i short changed my self, with most times feelings of irritation at even how my husband talks…… and i just want to run …… but guess what we have a wonderful son together and in love with someone i cannot have except God says so. i insist, i have way to much inquiring to do at the feet of Jesus. Dang if you ever think of putting your blog down, kindly consider a certain “D” that simply finds solace and a beautiful escape in reading em. 😉




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    1. Apple

      This is sad though. I really hope he changes though cus i cant imagine living life with someone that doesnt love you. And dang you just described my ex 100 percent. Infact hes worse




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  7. Anonymous

    ?????. Poor DANG. Been there severally. Never change who you are because the world thinks you are different. Several mumu situations after. I found my own ‘mumu’. It’s called falling in love. Married 5 years and I ll do it alllllllllll over again.




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  8. iMumZone

    Good riddance to bad rubbish. People like him will end up with a woman that will still cheat on them after marriage….. Waiting on updates




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  9. anonymous

    currently in such situation ,i hv tried to breakup a couple of tyms but he wont let go. he will turn all sweet n caring n i will mumuingly change my mind then in a few days we r back to whr we r ….if only i can find the strength to finally leave:-(:-\




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  10. Pingback: Cabo Travel Diary Day 2: Against My Wish, I Got Dragged Into A Couple's Marital Problems - DANG

  11. Kwahyel

    I can totally relate oh, been in the same situation too.. the relationship drained me for.. we even got engaged.. broke it off and all that shit.
    My eye don open sha.. ope oh




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  12. Ree

    Chai, thunder fire love sometimes!
    Mumu love
    My dear, I have been there.
    This article took me back. Some 10/11 years ago.
    To me, I was in relationship
    To him, I was a constant booty call
    He never came to look for me, he never remembered my birthday, no gifts, no love and I would foolishly go to his house over the weekend to cook and f*** him.
    Chai!!!
    The funny thing is, I don’t think he even realized he did anything wrong.
    When I was tired I just disappeared.
    I blame myself. Thank God for mental and spiritual growth.




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    1. i can relate it so sad coz have been in such mumu situation before

      i can relate, it so sad coz have been in such mumu situation b4




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  13. JaY

    Hmmmmmm…………..I feel sad for you already. Been there, imagining travelling out of Lagos to visit him in another state and he wakes up early morning some days after and travels to Lagos without telling me, switches off his phone so he’s unreachable. I’ve never felt such panic in my life ever. All kind of thoughts crossed my mind, thought he was kidnapped, thought he’d been in an accident, etc….Guy just felt like pulling that stunt or maybe wanted time to himself and to think I forgave him after that. Thank God for rescuing me from such human, would have been horrible to end up with someone like that.




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  14. Anonymous

    I have also been in this situation before and it was almost affecting my academic. But I summoned courage and went to his place to tell him off. I made sure I screamed so he will get it even if he decides to be deaf…. but today he is still begging me to get back with me….. I’m a better person I can’t do that anymore




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  15. Pingback: Cabo Travel Diary Day 3: I Finally Met The EX-Boyfriend For The First Time Since We Broke up - DANG

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