Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman: “Sometimes, Marriage is Gross”

15 September 30, 2017 By Dang

Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman

The foremost thing on my mind right now is to keep from sounding like a marriage handbook, or a how-to guide. Too many write-ups on marriage out there already. Far be it from me tell you what marriage is like. I’m not sure I know…but it’s been 2 years. I’d like to think I have earned the right to a few words on the subject.
No need to bore you on how we met. It’s a good story though. Remind me to tell it some other time. We have had quite the interesting relationship, I will say that. I like to think that I’m one of the lucky ones who legitimately married their friend. Some days I like him a lot. Some days, I need him out of my face. Well at least until it’s time to turn on the generator

Life with my husband is interesting. Our fights are legendary. I’m married to a man with a temper. Yes, I know what I said. Don’t bother waiting for the part about physical violence. Some temperamental men are not wife beaters guys, keep your earrings on. So yes, legendary fights. However, nothing beats a man who is so mad at you but still loves you even though you are currently the bane of his existence. I remember a time when we had a God-awful argument, and in the morning I was up to run my own water to bathe and he got angry that I had the nerve to do that when I knew he always ran my bath water. And that now became the fight for the day. *Insert rolling eye emoji*

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Try not to sleep on an argument. That’s like marriage 101, abi? Sorry guys. Sometimes you will. One time, I was so angry that in my sleep, I mistakenly rolled and touched him, then remembered I hated him and rolled away so fast. He still laughs at me about that sometimes.

We have different love languages. My bobo likes to use words. He is touchy-feely. He likes cuddles and kisses and hugs and mushiness and all that jazz. Me? Hmm. My case is in the hands of God. I’m not that bad though. I used to be romantic, I swear. But sometimes, life can affect you more than you know. Not because you are hung up on an ex, or two, but sometimes it just takes a part of you away and then your husband has to suffer it.

So my single sisters, remember that. Scratch that. I specifically said I didn’t want to be ‘self-helpy.’ Moving on.

Marriage is gross. I had always seen the glamorous side; you know, get dressed up and go out, perfect couple stints, IG stunting and all. But that’s like 10% of the matter. In a particularly bad couch-potato kinda month, 5%. Sometimes you want to have sex but purge will not let you be great. You fart under the duvet and nearly become a widow by your own making because the poor guy doesn’t stand a chance. Sometimes if there is too much heat as a result of NEPA, cuddling is a no-no because body contact=body heat= yuck!

My husband thinks I’m too serious. I’m the worrier; I’m the one that would prefer to collect all his savings from him and put in a trust somewhere he will never find it till we need it. He, on the other hand believes “Money will always come”. Nah bruh, I ain’t taking that chance. He also likes play too much. I’d rather sit and watch series. We’re quite different, him and I. Not opposites, but different.

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My favourite thing about my marriage is the calm and peace I feel. Do I imagine what life would have been like if I didn’t marry him, or if I stayed single? Yes.

Do I sometimes want to throw him down the stairs and be done with it? Yes.

And I tell him every day. What I don’t tell him is how I’d be lost without him. What I don’t tell him is that he saved me from myself and that with all his plenty flaws, (they are a LOT) I still don’t feel like I deserve him. But hopefully, someday I will figure out just how to tell him.

Written by: Miss Vee for Diaryofanaijagirl.com

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15 comments on “Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman: “Sometimes, Marriage is Gross”

  1. Pingback: One Night Stand: Diary of A Neglected Married Woman - DANG

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