Things I Would Like To Do Before The World Ends On Saturday, 23rd September

4 September 22, 2017 By Dang

Things I Would Like To Do Before The World Ends On Saturday, 23rd September

The world will End on Saturday, 23rd September when a planet will, supposedly, collide with Earth. Claims christian Numerologist, David Meade. According to him, Sept. 23 is a date that was pinpointed using codes from the Bible, as well as a “date marker” in the pyramids of Giza in Egypt.

Dear Meade,

Ah. It’s tomorrow o. Jaysuuuuuuu. I wonder what time…do you know exactly? Because Preparation.

First of all, can the world end just one time? Can you calculate this thing accurately for once so we all can come together in unity and preparation.

That being said, before the world ends on Saturday, I don’t want to be left with any dreams and aspirations, I have to do my best to do all that is on my bucket list.

Adesua!!! Come and hear, the world is ending tomorrow. Don’t let it be said of you that you didn’t enter heaven because of selfishness. Borrow me BankyW for 1 hour. It must be said of me in the book of life that “she who dated Bankyw…” etc etc Read:Oh God of Adesua…Fasting and Prayer ‘Continua’

If I’m owing you please come and collect your money. I don’t want ordinary debt that I “forgot” to pay stop me from entering heaven.

I will also have to stop working out before the world ends on Saturday. Phew! That’s a releif, God does not care about my physical looks, my heart is all that matters. If you’ve been struggling with a diet or beating yourself up at the gym, you can stop that this minute. Go to shoprite, they also have heard the news of the world coming to an end, they are distributing cookies for free, eat and be merry. I’ll be here binging on fried plantain with goat meat and Turkey. What is fat? What is calories?

Wait!So are you saying my ovaries have been pulsating and doing “GBIM!” For nothing? Ah! Meade, at this particular juncture, you and your people have recalculate the maths and postpone this thing. I NEED to have babies.



4 comments on “Things I Would Like To Do Before The World Ends On Saturday, 23rd September

  1. Pingback: My Anti-Bucket List: Things I Hope to Never Do or Do Again Before I Die - DANG

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