SOS: A Strange Lady Tried to Pimp Me Out At the Lagos Beer Festival in Eko Hotel
What I can say I enjoyed most about the Lagos beer festival at Eko Hotel yesterday, was the music. I actually stayed longer because the DJ was doing real good and to be honest, I had no where to be. So for what transpired below, I blame The Lagos Beer Festival at Eko Hotel and the awesome DJ.
After being at the festival for a while, I contemplated getting into the pool or just wait it out. When I finally made up my mind to go change into my swim suit, a very “yellow” lady in a blond wig and flowy chiffon kaftan waltzed towards me like a calm storm.
“Darlingggggggggggg” she screamed in excitement. I was sure I didn’t know her from anywhere but I could be mistaken so I got up to give her a hug. As I hugged her, she whispered in my ear “just play along. Please please”.
Okay…what’s happening here? She released me from the hug, I smiled widely and gave her a high 5. “Hiiiii. Long time” I said in feigned excitement. She quickly sat with me and drew her chair really close to mine. Read: My Embarrassing Fart Story. Oh, Hello China
“See ehn, look to your left behind you. There’s a white guy in a ‘face cap’ and blue shirt”. She said to me almost whispering but still smiling. I looked in that direction, a white guy in a hat and blue shirt waved cautiously at me.
“Okay…” I said in confusion to the blond lady.
“I told him you’re the outgoing Miss Nigeria. When he comes to meet you, please just say the same. If you decide to follow him, we can share 60/40”. She said as she waved her hand around.
“Share what?” I asked. Understanding her but still needed to be sure this was happening.
“Share the cut now. He’s willing to do 5k usd o. He leaves tomorrow”
I sighed. Deeply.
Just when I thought things wouldn’t get weirder, she said “Are you clean down there?” She looked towards my Jajaina area. “If you are, he’ll do 1k extra”
Wow! See my life outside? I’m rarely speechless but at this time, I had no words. A perfect leisure day was gradually getting ruined. I looked at the lady and at this time, I noticed she looked like a snake, a desperate one, even licked her lips like it was a habit. I don’t like snakes.
I got up, because it was time to leave. As I walked past the white guy, I thought it would be fair to ruin his day too. I paused by his table and said “I’m not the outgoing Miss Nigeria. You may want to use google next time you’re on a hunt”
“I don’t care. Are you game?” Said white man
Ah! Lo ba tan!
Shaking my head in wonder, I walked away from the craziness.