Monthly Archives: September 2017

Happily Married Woman

Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman: “Sometimes, Marriage is Gross”

Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman

The foremost thing on my mind right now is to keep from sounding like a marriage handbook, or a how-to guide. Too many write-ups on marriage out there already. Far be it from me tell you what marriage is like. I’m not sure I know…but it’s been 2 years. I’d like to think I have earned the right to a few words on the subject.
No need to bore you on how we met. It’s a good story though. Remind me to tell it some other time. We have had quite the interesting relationship, I will say that. I like to think that I’m one of the lucky ones who legitimately married their friend. Some days I like him a lot. Some days, I need him out of my face. Well at least until it’s time to turn on the generator

Life with my husband is interesting. Our fights are legendary. I’m married to a man with a temper. Yes, I know what I said. Don’t bother waiting for the part about physical violence. Some temperamental men are not wife beaters guys, keep your earrings on. So yes, legendary fights. However, nothing beats a man who is so mad at you but still loves you even though you are currently the bane of his existence. I remember a time when we had a God-awful argument, and in the morning I was up to run my own water to bathe and he got angry that I had the nerve to do that when I knew he always ran my bath water. And that now became the fight for the day. *Insert rolling eye emoji*

Try not to sleep on an argument. That’s like marriage 101, abi? Sorry guys. Sometimes you will. One time, I was so angry that in my sleep, I mistakenly rolled and touched him, then remembered I hated him and rolled away so fast. He still laughs at me about that sometimes.

We have different love languages. My bobo likes to use words. He is touchy-feely. He likes cuddles and kisses and hugs and mushiness and all that jazz. Me? Hmm. My case is in the hands of God. I’m not that bad though. I used to be romantic, I swear. But sometimes, life can affect you more than you know. Not because you are hung up on an ex, or two, but sometimes it just takes a part of you away and then your husband has to suffer it.

So my single sisters, remember that. Scratch that. I specifically said I didn’t want to be ‘self-helpy.’ Moving on.

Marriage is gross. I had always seen the glamorous side; you know, get dressed up and go out, perfect couple stints, IG stunting and all. But that’s like 10% of the matter. In a particularly bad couch-potato kinda month, 5%. Sometimes you want to have sex but purge will not let you be great. You fart under the duvet and nearly become a widow by your own making because the poor guy doesn’t stand a chance. Sometimes if there is too much heat as a result of NEPA, cuddling is a no-no because body contact=body heat= yuck!

My husband thinks I’m too serious. I’m the worrier; I’m the one that would prefer to collect all his savings from him and put in a trust somewhere he will never find it till we need it. He, on the other hand believes “Money will always come”. Nah bruh, I ain’t taking that chance. He also likes play too much. I’d rather sit and watch series. We’re quite different, him and I. Not opposites, but different.

My favourite thing about my marriage is the calm and peace I feel. Do I imagine what life would have been like if I didn’t marry him, or if I stayed single? Yes.

Do I sometimes want to throw him down the stairs and be done with it? Yes.

And I tell him every day. What I don’t tell him is how I’d be lost without him. What I don’t tell him is that he saved me from myself and that with all his plenty flaws, (they are a LOT) I still don’t feel like I deserve him. But hopefully, someday I will figure out just how to tell him.

Written by: Miss Vee for Diaryofanaijagirl.com

One Night Stand: Diary of a Neglected Married Woman

One Night Stand: Diary of A Neglected Married Woman

One night stand from a married woman’s experience 

I had a one night stand. As I type this I cannot even believe it happened to me. I feel like I was outside of my body and watched someone else who looks exactly like me perform this act. 

I’m writing this so that your numerous readers can realize it can happen to anyone. The Bible says that “he that thinks he stands should take heed lest he fall”. I expect to be judged and insulted. That’s fine, but I also know someone will learn from this.

My background: I’m not an average looking woman, I’m a full fledged good looking woman. I’m quite modest too as I don’t need to do too much to bring out the slay queen in me. I knew how powerful my body is, I know how I can make men’s knees buckle by basically doing nothing. However, I made a decision to be a virgin till I got married. My husband is my one and only ever encounter with the opposite sex….Well, I guess I meant “was” my one and only ….until the one night stand Read: Diary of A Naija Happily Married Woman: “Sometimes, Marriage is Gross”

We got married when I was 24, he was 32. 8 years older than me, he’d been there, done that but was a good man and ready to settle when I met him. He was completely respectful of me and he did ask for sex while we were dating but after hearing me out several times , he decided to wait with me. We got married 18 months after we met. 

Our marriage is wonderful and blessed with 3 lovely children.  2 girls and a boy. We are also doing very well at our careers and life couldn’t really be better. 

Sometime in the 12th year of our marriage things started going downhill. I will summarize that we took each other for granted. This was compounded by my husband’s job taking him all over the world. And I was exhausted all the time from joggling my 10 hrs job with caring for the children alone. Whenever he returned home from his journey, I was resentful and agitated all the time. Sometime that year  I tried to log in to his Facebook account few days into his last trip and he had changed the password. Wow! When did we start changing “our passwords”. When did we start “following” all these scantily clad girls on Instagram. Too many questions to answer. I must say he made it worse by brushing off all my doubts and questions without addressing them. He said repeatedly “I would never cheat on you”, but he was being sneaky. 




Our sex lives took a hit of all these. I’ve always been more sexual than him, 3 out of 5 episodes is initiated by me. And my husband always teased me about “trying to make up for the lost years”. During the lowest point of our marriage, I even went as far as googling and reading up on sexting and attempting phone sex with him when he was away. My husband brushed me off most times during the horniest days of my cycle whenever “konji’ hit me while he was away. This was getting frustrating.  I worked out more, took care of myself more, prayed harder, attended many women conferences. I just had to do my best to be happy for my sake and the children’s 

One day, I was getting coffee and reading a good book during my “me time”. Kids were in school and I needed to maximize my time off before the chaos begins after school. I look up from my book to find this guy staring at me intently.  He walks over and tells me how beautiful I look and how he didn’t mean to be disrepectful but he just couldn’t but make these compliments. I smiled and said thank you and returned to my book. He asked if he may join me and I obliged. What’s the hurt? He can visibly see my huge wedding ring and my no-nonsense resting bitch face. He should be ready to deal with the consequences of whatever I say to him at this time. We had small talk, nothing personal. We exchanged numbers, I thought nothing of it. He left after about 30 mins and I resumed my daily activities.

My husband makes another trip. I bump into this guy again during my grocery shopping. He had said he lived about 10 miles away from us, so  how come he’s here? We say a quick hi and his hands brushed my forearm somehow. I had goose pimples.  No!!!! I’m married for Christ’s sake. Why am I having rumbling in my tummy. This second meeting was a really brief one and we had said our goodbyes before we knew it. It turns out I don’t even remember his name. I had saved it as coffee guy on my phone. 

Here’s where the down fall began. I just couldn’t stop thinking about my reaction to his touch. When hubby called that night, I started to tell him about this guy I met and how random it was to meet the same person again.. We even joked about hubby being the one that hired “coffee guy” to follow me around. Just after hubby goes off the phone, “coffee guy” calls. I’m indecisive about picking up the call or not. I do anyway. He asks what I’m doing? I say I’m in bed getting ready to sleep. He asks if I would like to make out with him. Ha!!!!! Just like that? I cut off the phone. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but think about how different it would be to have another man, what do other penises look like? Will he last longer than my husband? Will he perform oral sex on me? I find myself musing and fantasizing about this all night. My husband and I hadn’t had sex for 4 months. Why am I so turned on? I remind myself hubby will soon be back and my urges will be calmed, if not satisfied.




“Coffee guy” calls me again the next morning, I say it’s not a good time. I’m at work. But I added “the baby sitter is picking up the kids today, maybe we can have a drink tonight”. I don’t drink at all by the way. I should have nipped this in the bud from the first day. We met after work at the bar of a posh restaurant, we didn’t talk much. He didn’t even finish his glass of wine. The sexual tension was palpable. He asked if I would like to go “someplace”, I couldn’t believe the word “Yes” came from my lips. Apparently he had booked a hotel room. As soon as we entered his room, he started kissing my neck , I was vibrating so bad , foolishly telling him I’ve never done this before, he asks if he should stop but he’s not really stopping…. and the rest is history……We both came. Intensely and multiple times.

And he wanted a second round but I was back into myself at this time and weeping silently. He asked if I was alright, if he did something wrong. I told him I’m an adult and wasn’t forced into this. I wipe my tears as I’m dressing up I sight my ring on my finger. How do I undo this? What have I done? I just had a one night stand. He used protection, but how do I fix this? I tell him as I’m leaving “you will never hear from me again”. I don’t even know his real name. I block his number  then deleted it. We didn’t know each other enough to have been on each others social media. My curiosity has been satisfied. My husband is better than me in many ways. Maybe he cheated on me too, maybe he did not. 2 wrongs don’t make a right. I feel like a slut. I feel so dirty, I almost scrub myself to bleed when I get home. 

I haven’t been able to forget this experience. I hold the guilt in the vault of my heart. I cried night after night rolling on the floor asking the third party in our tri-fold cord to have mercy on me. It took me days to forgive myself. To make it worse, my husband’s libido went over the roof after he returned. The first few months were terrible for me, I couldn’t get that picture of me and coffee guy and our one night stand off my mind even while with my husband….




It’s 6 years since my one night stand. I didn’t tell my husband. I don’t plan to. I flee from appearances of evil like my life depends on it. I’ve forgiven myself finally . Our marriage got better. I worked on my reactions to my husband’s imperfections. I’m very open to him about my desires emotionally and physically, about everything…except this one thing.

If I decide to spill about a one night stand I truly regret, How will that one event erase the 16 years of memories they have of their mother being a good woman. I’m a role model to many of my daughters’ friends, and teenage group in church.

This one secret will follow me to my grave….

One Night Stand: Diary of A Neglected Married Woman: Written by Mrs H. For Dairyofanaijagirl.ng

Airport Chronicles: Wizkid, Fine Girls and Disrespectful Immigration

When I got on the plane, I heard some ladies whisper. “Wizkid is on the plane”. My ears lit up real quick. I’m a huge fan so I knew I had to try and disturb him. He was trying hard to remain incognito. Big black hoodie on his small frame was a good idea. But I spotted him ASAP. I went over to him but he was on the phone and seemed to be having a serious conversation so I went back to my seat. I checked again in a few minutes and what do you know, there was a small crowd by his seat.

I joined them but made sure no one was behind me as I wanted an opportunity to chat him up. I must say, he looks so fresh and he acted really respectful, he didn’t seem to be inconvenienced by us but I knew it was some sort of breach of privacy, kudos to him

I took pictures with him, had a little chat and back to my seat I went.

When we arrived London, he was on the queue behind me, I smiled at him, was about to turn away and what did I see, an extremely beautiful young lady that seemed to be attached to his hip. Wizzyyyyy, baba nla, wehdun sir. You seem to have a type huh? Light skinned girls who may or may not be mixed race. I was staring so much I forgot it was my turn to get to boarder control until I was prompted. I have pictures but I’m a fan and a classy lady so I will not post. ( Insert tongue out emoji)




As I got to immigration, I was answering basic questions from the immigration officer when I sneezed. Once, then twice. At this time, the lady looked at me and said in the most condescending nice way“If you’d zip up your jacket to cover your chest you wouldn’t sneeze so much”. My instant reaction was “Excuse you! Is it your chest?” but the all powerful immigration was not to be messed with so I smiled, refused to zip up my jacket and looked away.

Wizkid was right behind me so by the time I was done with the immigration woman, he was already beside me by the next counter. I sat down by the waiting area, waiting for my friend but when she got to me, whizkid had still not been released from the immigration desk. I told her I wondered why they were keeping him. Why will they keep our Wizkid at immigration for minutes and minutes? I checked the time, he’s being there over 7 minutes. These immigration people don’t have respect, did they even google who they’re dealing with? Read: “I Worked Hard and Prepared Myself For The Success That Would Come”- WizKid

Ahn Ahn. What’s that! Me, ordinary citizen didn’t spend up to 2 minutes at immigration but our export product was being questioned for minutes. So in solidarity, the beautiful lady (who may or may not be mixed race), my friend and I waited for for him until he was let go. I had my phone in hand, if for any reason our boy was being treated anyhow, I’ll record and put them on a blast.




But he came out bouncing, no hassles. I breathed a sigh of relief. The beautiful lady (who may or may not be mixed race) was relived too.

He didn’t  send me message. But for all Wizkid fans, I took one for the team.

You’re welcome everyone. 

A Relationship Should be Between Two People, Not the Whole World

It has become too easy to tell the world what we’re doing and with whom. As much as you want to shout it to the heavens, Intimacy means “Very private” “closely personal”. This means that your intimate times with your partner should be shared between you TWO. Giving occasional shout outs to your significant other on social is not a bad thing , but if you feel the need to post every moment of your relationship on social media, It’s likely a sign of a much bigger issue

When you post all these mushy stuff, you are unable to avoid people’s unrealistic expectations of you. There is less pressure when the whole of your friends and their friends and colleagues and some strangers don’t know what’s going on with you. When you want to make decisions, it will be about you, not about what your followers may or may not think

It is sad-but-true that the “likes” people get on their personal Instagram and Facebook pages sometimes directly correlate with their feelings of self-worth. So if you share something really special on social media (i.e., your relationship), you’ll naturally take the feedback to heart. Listen, all it takes to “like” something is a mindless click of a mouse.




Measuring the depth of your relationship by the amount of likes or attention your pictures or videos get can make you resent your relationship especially when people get too busy to “like”

When you post your relationship life on social media, you give people the opportunity to track your life. People who don’t like you will screen shot and scrutinize every detail of the picture until they find something.

Why do you think your relationship deserves to go through such unnecessary scrutiny?

If you’re truly happy and secure in your relationship, you shouldn’t care what anyone thinks.




Actually, you shouldn’t think about them at all. If you want to post something about you and your partner next time, call him or her instead, if he’s with you, go hold his hand. Use your hands to build intimacy in your relationship, don’t use them to break down the privacy walls so everyone can get a front row seat

Travel Diary: How Not To Get A Speeding Ticket In America

#TBT. Travel Diary: How Not To Get A Speeding Ticket In America

#TBT. Travel Diary: How Not To Get A Speeding Ticket In America

Entry: 19/09/2016

Today I decided to relieve my friend from her driving duties. (I didn’t like it)

In Lagos, driving is the survival of the fittest and we change lanes like an an angry snake. While driving, My friend pointed out how well behaved I was and laughed at me knowing I had previously had a run in with the police

Sometime ago, just like today, I decided to drive while on vacation. The road was wide and smooth, “why must I keep driving like I’m on a children’s playground?” I asked myself. I got bored of driving at 45 kilo meters per hour So I sped things up, while my friend and I sang along loudly to Tuface’ “Excuse me sister”

As expected, we were stopped by the Police. A young officer walked up to the car and I smiled at him. Hoping I could talk or joke my way out of it. “Step out of the car ma’am” he said.




Ah, in the movies people didn’t get down from the car for speeding now. I looked at my friend, she shrugged. I wasn’t smiling at the officer anymore. I stayed put in the car. “Ma’am are you aware you were driving past the speed limit? Please show me your license and step out of the car” The policeman repeated himself.

As I stepped out of the car, I imagined being sent back to Naija and not being able to travel to the United States ever again. That made me panic so I started crying. Read: Mauritius Travel Diary Day One: My Ovaries Finally Got me In Trouble

The Policeman looked alarmed and said “no no don’t cry, if your license is valid and you pass a breathalyzer you only get a speeding ticket. Miss, you don’t have to cry”

Ah. I don’t want a speeding ticket on my record. This time my panic had reached the highest level, so as I sobbed, almost -just almost- to the point of wailing, I said “ I am from Africa, we don’t have speed limit. I didnt see any speed Limit. I just came here on holiday, I don’t want any trouble”




Smiling like he was addressing a child, the policeman said, “I am sure there are speed limits in Africa ma’am” Now my sobbing had increased to full fledged sob-hiccup “No. google it. we don’t have speed limits. We don’t have speed limits” Sob continues.

Policeman made sure I took a breathalyzer, which I passed. While still sobbing I asked myself “Should I tell him I’m an African princess? No, he may google that.”

The policeman looks at me, tells me to calm down, asks my friend if she can drive and asks her to take the wheel. That was it, no ticket.

I don’t know if it’s because I cried or because I’m from Africa.

I advise you try both.

Travel Diary for My Cabo Trip coming up. I’m excited

Diary of A Celebrity Wife: Being A Celebrity Wife is Not The Same As Marrying A Regular Guy

Diary of A Celebrity Wife: Being A Celebrity Wife is Not The Same As Marrying A Regular Guy

Diary of A Celebrity Wife

Being a celebrity wife seems glamorous, it is exciting and sometimes you feel untouchable. Reading comments concerning Kevin Hart’s scandal drove me to write this article and I hope people get to understand us more and not judge. This platform seems to be the right fit.

When I met my husband, I was in awe of him, even though he wasn’t as famous as he is now, he was still famous. He intently pursued me and though I was impressed, I was also worried about heartbreak and the issues of dating a celebrity. He didn’t back down and gradually I saw him as a real human rather than someone who was worshipped by many.

During our courtship, he was the sweetest ever and I was extremely happy with him. He ignored women and had eyes only for me. When we travelled together, he introduced me to everyone and I would notice him look out for me even when he was working. My heart was his but for a long time I refused to have sex with him because I had to hold on to something incase I got heartbroken




Did he cheat while we were dating? I never caught him but there were insinuations in the blogs. It would cause a huge fight when I confronted him because he wondered why I would believe blogs over our own real life experience. There was never any evidence so I let things go

Gradually I began to relax. This man really does love me, he would sometimes decline going anywhere else after he was done with work because I was uncomfortable with how women threw themselves at him plus I wasn’t really a party girl. He loved me first but I fell for him harder and when we got married, I may have had some delusions as to what a marriage based on real love should look like. Read: Just Because He’s A Christian Does Not Mean He is A “God-Fearing Man”

There are women sending nudes, popular and rich women rubbing themselves off on him even when we’re together. Letters and naked pictures have been sent to the house. His private emails are filled with lewd contents that I and him have stopped opening. I am only one person, how many of them can I fend off especially now that we are married with kids who can’t jump around the world with us.

I can’t go out to work with him anymore. I cannot fend off girls and I’m not physically there to caution him. Earlier in the marriage, I’d call girls back who send him text messages. I’d warn them off to leave my husband alone. He didn’t mind, in fact, he seemed to leave that to me. I thought it was okay because this made me realize if he can leave his phone with me and allow me do all that, then he is not cheating

He is actually cheating.

I found this out when I went to surprise him at work one time. I got to his hotel but they still had to call him that I was downstairs. On my way to his room, I saw a girl rush towards me, I took a good look at her because my gut told me she was coming out of my husband’s room. When I got to his room, he took some time to answer the door. My heart sank, I’ve had my suspicions but this time I really knew and it made me extremely sad. When he finally opened the door, he had just gotten out of the shower, but I could still smell sex in the room. I started crying, because I had dreaded this, I fought against it but I felt so powerless now.

He didn’t deny it, he just apologized…a lot and for days. He asked me if he had ever treated me badly, if I had ever felt unloved by him, if he ever slept out when he is in the same state as me. The answer to those questions are “NO”. He begged me to see him as a man with faults who would sometimes misbehave but he will never be irresponsible. I wondered “what does that even mean?”. I was worried about baby mama but what about diseases? He assured me he would be careful.




I had to ask the question I already knew the answer to: “Is this a thing I should get used to? Does this happen often?”. He said “Please never bother yourself with such thoughts. I am your husband, I love you dearly, I am really careful and if you hadn’t surprised me today, you would never have found out. Ever!”

I have my answer.

So here I am. In love and married to a man who I haven’t caught cheating since that one time but I know he is cheating. A man who puts us (his kids and I) first. Who flaunts us without care everywhere. He buys assets in my name and includes me in his business decisions.

I was forced to ask myself: Really, how much temptation can a mere mortal take? He is only human

The life that we live is far removed from regular women whose husbands are not known and lusted after by millions of women. As a Celebrity wife -I’ll speak for myself- I’m not delusional or greedy. It’s just that this man is doing his best and not lacking anywhere else. How do you leave such a man?

If today my husband was caught in Kevin Hart’s position, I’d stay with him still. He and I know what he’ll do that will make me leave him. This is not an easy decision to make or the best situation to be in but cut us some slack. We chose the life we now live, let’s live it in the best way we can without judging and insisting a celebrity wife leaves her cheating husband.

Life is never black and white and I really hope people understand that.

This article,Diary of A Celebrity Wife: Being A Celebrity Wife is Not The Same As Marrying A Regular Guy was sent in anonymously.

Follow us on instagram: @diaryofanaijagirl

Celebrity Diary

Celebrity Diary Entry: For Two Years I was in a Massive Debt of N22M. Still, I ‘Slayed’ On Instagram. This is How I paid Back Every Kobo

Celebrity Diary Entry: For Two Years I was in a Massive Debt of N22M. Still, I ‘Slayed’ On Instagram. This is How I paid Back Every Kobo

I am going to share a story I’ve wanted to share for a long time but didn’t know how without being judged. Having read the story of the socks guy who ran into debt, Read The Post Here I could relate and decided to share.

I’m a single mum and unlike many people think, very few entertainers make the amount of money they seem to be making on social media. So, for me, for a long time, the struggle was real. In trying to feed my home and run a business, I ran into a massive debt of 22Million Naira. I was duped for half of it then the rest was bad business decisions. Entertainment was not paying that much, I had to do something.

The 22Million I owed was not from one person, it was from 3 different people who understood initially then began to clamp down on me after 6 months. It is noteworthy for me to say that during this time, no one knew anything. In fact, people accused me on my social media page of doing “Aristo” because it seemed like I was living large. I wasn’t but Instagram is a land of lies and most of us entertainers play in the field. Our PR insists that we look like we’re doing good and never complain to the world. They say it is good for the brand

How did I get out of this debt? Unlike the socks guy, I didn’t have any well-to-do family member. I was determined not to sleep with men and my work was only fetching enough money just for daily living. N22Million is a lot of money so I would lose sleep every night, thinking about it. I was threatened that my matter would be taken to the gossip blogs if I didn’t start paying. I was stuck and there was only one solution for me, to sleep with that rich man that has been promising me heaven on earth.



On my way to Abuja to meet him, I cried and prayed for forgiveness because I had vowed never to dabble in such. Before deciding to travel, I asked him how much I would get for coming to see him or if he would be giving me monthly salary…I was ignorant of how these things worked. he said when I get to him, we would talk. Read: Diary of A Celebrity Wife: Being A Celebrity Wife is Not The Same As Marrying A Regular Guy

I got to his office and I was ushered straight in. As soon as he started making small talk with me, I began to cry. I felt hopeless, like I was there under duress and my life was no longer my own. I immediately went on my knee and asked him to help me. I told him I would run his errands, be his PA, anything I could do except sleep with him. I told him I was in debt and I needed business or some sort of job to begin to pay back. He was silent for a long time but held my hand as I cried and knelt at his feet.

This is the question that saved my life: “If I give you a distribution contract will you be able to do it?”

I said I could do it. He asked again if I was sure i wanted to work instead of making me his mistress. I told him I would rather make money and also make him some money.




I became a distributor for his company. He also insisted his sales people introduce me to customers. Being quite a famous face helped me to sell these products faster than everyone else. The first money I made was N3.2m and I used it all to begin paying my debt. I was a happier mother and a more present one, I did my job better too and even my colleagues noticed

I am now free of debt.

Being in debt is not bad in itself but getting yourself out without compromising yourself brings so much satisfaction and joy. I hope ladies read this and know that you have a choice. That when you’re determined not to sell your body, God will come through for you. If you don’t believe in God, you determination will bring forth positive energy and the stars will align in your favor. It will be hard but hang in there, your breakthrough will be sweet.

“Diary of A Naija Girl Is under strict agreement to post this celebrity Diary anonymously”

Vimbai Mutinhiri

“Be Productive in Your Dry Season” – Vimbai Mutinhiri

“Be Productive in Your Dry Season” – Vimbai Mutinhiri

My season of stillness came right after Big Brother Africa

Now, you’d think that you’ve just come off of this big show. This massive platform. You are famous. Everybody knows your name. It was crazy…petrol attendants to waitresses, lawyers… I mean everybody.

It was an insane level of fame. Especially because I never experienced anything like that in my life

I remember when the President invited us to the State House and he held a Banquet for me and he gave me cash and everybody wanted me. You know, your phone is ringing off the hook and you are in high demand and you say “no I don’t want to do that” “maybe I’ll do that”. I got carried away with it because nobody prepares you for the fact that reality television is not a career. Nobody prepares you for that. So…. it gets to your head

You are out of this world. You are famous. The money is coming. And you almost feel like it will last forever. But it doesn’t. Because just as quickly as that whole hype comes to an end, people will start asking “what does she do anyway?” “What’s your talent? What’s your skill?”

Boy, when things dried up for me, things dried up real good. I mean things dried right up. I just remember knocking on doors. At that time nobody was taking my calls, every single proposal I sent was being turned down. It was just like I had just fallen off of the pedestal of favour. Just like that!

So what are you doing with yourself while you are stuck in that place? You think you are not going forward. You think that everything has come to a stand still around you. But that is literally when the loudest message is happening around you. Are you listening? Are you embracing? Are you learning? Are you strategizing? Because it doesn’t last forever. Because the moment that the silent moment snaps out of place, you don’t want to start moving back. You want to start moving forward

And guess what? When that silent moment, that quiet, still season of your life (some call it the dry season), when it snaps out of place, boom! It catapults you. Stuffs you couldn’t have done in a year, you all of a sudden do in less a year. Just because you used your quiet, still moments productively.

Vimbai Mutinhiri

woman to change her surname

On Surname Change: There’s No Religion or Culture That Mandates A Woman To Change Her Surname

On Surname Change: There”s No Religion or Culture That Mandates A Woman To Change Her Surname

I see change of surname is back on the front burner.

Here’s a little education.

The Bible does NOT advocate a woman changes her name to a man’s. Infact, if we want to go by the Bible, I think it is the man that should change names. The Bible says that a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves unto his wife. It is the man that leaves and comes to meet the woman. Not the other way round as we seem to think.




The Qur’an also does NOT advocate a woman taking on her husband’s name. The Quran says people are to be known by their father’s name. The Qur’an says there is no blood tie between husband and wife so, there is no basis for her to be known by his name. She may get widowed or divorced and remarry. So, will she change her surname again? Husbands may change. Fathers dont.

Now to our African traditions. Our ancestral mothers did NOT take our ancestral fathers’ names. My Maami was Madam Thomas. Not Mrs Ladega or Mrs Macaulay. She was Madam Juliana Thomas. Her father was Mr Thomas. My Mama Botanical was Madam Akodu. Madam Olateju Akodu. Not Mrs Ajai. Her father was Mr Akodu. Read:On Psquare Breakup: Dear Psquare, We Don’t Really Care, We have Our Own Problems.

THE ORIGIN OF CHANGING NAMES.





The origin of changing names is a Western culture and not one that has a good history. It stems from slavery and ownership of cartel. A wife is seen as cartel in the same way as cattle or slaves. A man seared his name on his cattle and livestock to confirm ownership. This is why slaves also bear ther masters’ names. So, like a slave, a wife also changes her name to be her husband’s.

IT IS NOT OUR AFRICAN CULTURE OR RELIGIOUS CULTURE FOR A WOMAN TO CHANGE HER SURNAME.

If you want to change your surname, fine. But know the reasons why it is done and stop lording your view albeit misinformed on other women.

Culled From Olubunmi Layode (Facebook)

Psquare breakup

On Psquare Breakup: Dear Psquare, We Don’t Really Care, We have Our Own Problems.

The raving news about town is the video released by Peter of the Psquare duo further cementing rumours of a Psquare breakup.

First if all, why did Peter release the video? There could be only one reason, to garner pity from the general public.

Why would he want to garner pity from the general pubic on a personal/family matter? One answer comes to mind again: PR.

Why would he need the PR? Only one answer I can think of: He has future business on his mind. Since Psquare may actually be breaking up and his stunt at trying his own thing didn’t work the last time, he needs pity party to sell market this time.




I do not care for the other brothers too. Tweeting their privacy away, acting like they are going to war with an enemy. The vile tone in their messages on social media shows they are all ready to leave it all on the line. What does that say of these people? Read: Is Tipping Your HairStylist Mandatory?

I hear people say they are disappointed, I hear people plead, begging the duo not to break up. Hello, will you keep “kwayet!?”

How dare you beg adults who have made almost a billion out of fans’ devotion to their work? How dare you beg them? They have tried their own thing and it never worked and you’re begging them to make money? Truth be told, will you miss them when they’re gone? I won’t, because there’s this new group called DNA. They’re twins too, look like Psquare and BOTH of them can dance and sing. See? They are replaceable. Plus there’s so much music in circulation now, we’ll forget them before I swallow the plantain chips I’m munching on right now.

One thing I wonder about, is if Psquare and family really think the majority of the population cares about their petty tantrums? How many people who talked about Psquare Breakup go to bed crying to God to resolve the matter? Not me. So what all these public debacle boils down to, is entertainment and distractions for the public, something to talk and write about while we deal with our own real life situations




Dear Peter and Paul, take your s#it away from the internet and let Psquare breakup in peace. I cannot think for the life of me why anyone of you would put history behind, ignore the family struggle and choose to cry out to the public for attention, gratification and pity.

Deep inside, we don’t care. Who is nice enough to tell them this face to face?

burden of responsibility

Women Bear The Pain Of Childbirth. We Bear The heavy Burden of Responsibility. Unlike Women, We Are Not Allowed To Complain

I have read with respect the way women elevate their position as child bearers and praise themselves and one another. There’s nothing wrong with this but what I do not understand is the complete absence of the recognition of the burden of responsibility men bear.

The Holy Book says “A man who cannot take care of his home is worse than an infidel” So, I speak on behalf of men who take their roles as the head of the house seriously and bear the burden of responsibility without an avenue to express their frustrations.

Making final decisions, being a role model for the kids are easy roles to play but the financial burden is heavy. We want to express how frustrated we are sometimes but we cannot because a man that complains or voices his frustration about spending a lot of money on his home is a worthless man.

For example, I promise my children summer holiday but when the burden of responsibility was too heavy financially, I lied that I wasn’t given leave at work so they had to go alone with their mother. I felt like I was just working and everything was going into expenses for the family, including vigorous savings towards getting a new and bigger house. Who exactly do I tell that I sometimes want to up and leave? How will I look if I complain to even my male friends that I am sometimes tired of the huge responsibility and will sometimes need help from the Mrs.




The problem is, even though Mrs helps with stuff in the house like food and minor things, she is of the opinion that the man should carry 80% of the finances. In this case, in the few times I’ve asked her to help, she would say things like “I’m borrowing you o. I’ll collect my money back”

Let’s not get things misunderstood, I love my wife with all my heart but she is a product of her upbringing where her money is hers and my money is ours. So, telling her to adjust and help more is not something she is capable of understanding. Read:Women fake Orgasm: I’m 42 Years Old, How come I’m just Knowing This?

Childbirth is awesome but I do not think the ultimate sacrifice is done by the woman alone. Men work their butts off, borrow money from friends, refuse to buy new phones… because if my family doesn’t eat, it’s my fault. I also have to act right for the kids and put my own needs aside to make sure the family is okay. If I don’t step up, then what am I teaching my son?

This is where we are hugely disadvantaged: women complain all the time, but men can’t. So instead of saying “I feel like tearing my neck out due to frustration”, I lash out at my wife, withdraw into myself and harbor animosity towards her when she says “I’m just borrowing you o”. I just shake my head and walk away. Wouldn’t it have worked out better if I could just come out clean and explain the real situation and ask for more contribution from her? But I am a product of culture, society and upbringing…The burden of responsibility falls on me. I have to be a man and suck it up.




I want to teach my son to suck it up and be responsible but I also want to teach him to NOT suck it in. That complaining is okay because it lets you let out steam. Being a man the society expects you to be, keeping quiet about your struggles and frustrations will negatively affect one’s mental health. I want him to know he can see a therapist too and not be ashamed to talk about it.

As a man, I’m tired of sucking it in.I am tired of listening to women whine about being the ultimate care giver while I nod in solidarity and even offer to help so she won’t break down.

I am a responsible father but I’m also human. If we’re allowed to publicly complain and not be shamed for it, maybe there will be more happy marriages and less divorce.

Written by N. James for Diaryofanaijagirl.ng

Richie Parker

The Story of NASCAR’S Richie Parker Asks You to Leave Your Excuses at The Door

The Story of NASCAR’S Richie Parker Asks You to Leave Your Excuses at The Door

How do you get through your day? Make it from one place to another? One task to the next? How do you do it?

Hendrick motorsports is the most winning organization in NASCAR. From Jimmie Johnson to Jeff Gordon to Dale Earnhardt, Jr. For any engineer drawn to racing, it is the elite destination. For Richie Parker, it’s been a job for the past 8 years. As a vehicle engineer at Hendrick, Parker designs chassis and body components for all the race teams and does all his design works the way he does almost everything; with his feet.

Every step of the way in life, there were people who said I couldn’t do things. I couldn’t ride a bicycle. People that said I couldn’t live on my own. Couldn’t get a good job and support myself. I couldn’t go to college and graduate. I don’t listen too much to people when they tell me I can’t do something. It’s not a whole lot that’s gonna stand in your way.

There are a lot of people that when I first started in the Hendrick motorsports, they had no idea what I could do and what I was going to do. I have some guys that I’m good friends with now and they told me that when they heard I was coming and when I first got there, they were just standing like “what is he going to do?”

“It’s very demanding. We have somebody come back from the race track and he says he needs something next week that’s gonna help him win a race. No is never the answer.” Read:“Real Winners Don’t Give Up”- Chef With No Hands, Maricel Apatan

Richie Parker was born in May 1983 in a coastal town of Beaufort, South Carolina. Right away, his parents knew something was wrong.




“They said that there was a little issue and complication with the baby and I was like “what?” The doctor said the baby did not have arms. And I was just sort of dumbfounded and was like “what do you mean?”- Tracy Parker, Richie’s father.

Doctors told the Parkers the abnormality was a result of a non-genetic birth defect creating a bilateral amelia (a limb deficiency)

“I’m thinking “how are we gonna get through this? How will he eat? How will he open doors? How will he do just a normal day to day thing? But I saw Richie, there was no question after that “- Lottie Parker. Richie’s mother.

“He was the cutest baby and he was the cutest little boy. After about five minutes, it was “when can I take my kid home? Just give me my kid.”- said Tracy Parker

“we wanted his childhood to be as close to any other child’s childhood as possible. That has always been our attitude. We were going to make it work. We might just do it differently but it will work.”- Lottie Parker

“There were always things around the house that I didn’t need to ask somebody else for help to do it. And that was always important to me. I had two parents who from day one, they tried to make it so that my life was-I guess you could say- as normal as possible. Whatever normal is.” – Richie Parker

“A lot of kids in the neighborhood had a bike. Well, Richie is going to ride a bike. We understood some of the dangers so got long handle bars and he rode it across from one arm to the other. And after that, he rode a bike with other kids in the neighborhood and he was just a kid riding his bike.”- Tracy Parker

As a teenager, Richie’s sense of independence founded his sharp focus in cars.

“I always wanted to drive. I was told by a few different people that “well, there’s a bus in your area, there are taxi cabs. That’s all you need to do. You should use that as your transportation “. But that just wasn’t me.”- Richie Parker

When he was 15, Richie spotted his dream car. A 1964 Chevrolet Impalla SS. The Parkers convinced the owners to sell it. 15 years later, it’s still Richie’s ride.

“If the bicycle gave him a certain amount of freedom, the car I think gave him a great amount of independence and pride.”- Tracy Parker




In truth, Richie’s entire life has been one remarkable study in engineering. Nearly every task requires engineering.

“I can’t say there is anything that I can’t do. I don’t know if there is a whole lot in life that I can say I can’t do. Just things that I haven’t done yet.” -Richie

That attitude carried Richie to his current job at Hendrick.

“I think I had about 20 resumes that I went through before I settled down to Richie’s. I knew he could do the things that I needed him to do. It was more of a question of how?” we sat down and he showed me how he works on the computer and how he does his design work. I write with my right hand, you write with your left hand. He happens to write with his feet. “- Rex Stump, Hendrick Engineering Manager

Parker’s initial internship with Hendrick was supposed to last 10 months. 8 years and 5 championships later, he is still there.

How do you get through your day? Make it from one place to another? One task to the next?
Don’t ask Richie Parker. He’s already moving on down the road.

“I’m just never satisfied. It’s what drives me. I don’t know where it comes from. Sometimes, it drives me crazy but it’s how I live my life.”

Introducing My Spirikoko Nasty Neighbours: I Love Them Already

Introducing My Spirikoko Nasty Neighbours: I Love Them Already

Introducing My Spirikoko Nasty Neighbours: I Love Them Already

My Neighbours moved in over two weeks ago and we hadn’t officially met asides from when I look at them through my window as they drive back and forth. I decided it was time to stop being a recluse and go welcome the new neighbours. The couple seem quite reserved, I always wondered how they go to work in the mornings without giving each other a peck or a smile. Yes, I watch them, I watch everyone as they go out in the morning. It is kind of my morning ritual…so…yea.

Fruit basket in hand, I knocked on their door. There was no answer at first but I was sure they were in as I saw both drive in around the same time. So, I knocked again and I heard a muffled “who is there?”.

“Your neighbor downstairs” I responded enthusiastically.

I heard a chair screech and since my mind is sanctified and everything, I thought nothing of it. When the wife opened the door, I noticed immediately her disheveled look and the husband was seated at the dining area, pouring water in a flower vase. She ushered me in and we exchanged pleasantries. Uncle refused to get off the dining though so I went over to him, greeted him and made small talk.Read:SOS: A Strange Lady Tried to Pimp Me Out At the Lagos Beer Festival at Eko Hotel




That was when I saw it, lingerie that wasn’t well tucked into the couch. I immediately looked away and smiled inside. I also noticed as the lady got me some water from the kitchen, her husband managed to graze his fingers on her arm. Awwwww…I was so tickled. Even though he caught me looking, I didn’t mind at all. There was an awkward silence until the wife came back with a glass of water. In the meantime, I quickly took my phone and reported the matter to twitter and Instagram.

The wife insisted I stayed for small talk and I badly wanted to wink at her like “go girl…do your thing” but they seem reserved to me and very spiritual. I know this because the day they moved in, a gazillion prayer warriors came to bless the house. Their tongue speaking loud prayer sent the rest of us into WhatsApp group meeting, letting them know we understand they had to bless the house but such was not allowed next time as they were really loud.

I digress…

I couldn’t help but feel cozy with the lady. She was so sweet and wanted to strike a longer conversation with me but her husband stayed put in the dining area. He wasn’t rude, he just wasn’t interested in talking to me. I told myself “if I want to be wicked now, I’ll talk and talk for 30minutes”. But I like what was going on so I chatted with the wife for a respectable period of time and announced my exit. While the wife said she wished I would stay longer, the husband finally removed the glue on his bum, jumped up and proceeded to usher me out. I could swear his face came alive.




Or maybe it was my imagination.

I smiled knowingly at the wife even though she may never know why 100% of my dentures was flashed at her.

The lady and I will definitely become fast friends because theres something to say about a couple who don’t wait to get to the room to do the do. I what? I love it!

Please follow Diary of a naija girl on instagram @diaryofanaijagirl

After Making The FORBES AFRICA 30 under 30 list, Sibusiso Ngwenya Lost all HIs Money To Debt

“I was so excited when Stuttafords (South Africa Leading department store) gave me the opportunity to list my products. I was so happy I signed the contract out of trust only to find that, by listing my products there, it means that I agree to only buying retail space… I signed a deal I didn’t understand that just emptied my pockets,” he says

It cost a pretty penny to buy shelf space at Stuttafords, one of South Africa’s top retailers. Sock sales came to about R40,000 ($3,000) a month at best and a mere R2,000 ($150) or R1,000 ($75) at worst.

“There was also a big spend on making sure we market the products and drive traffic to the store. At the time, the store itself wasn’t doing well and less and less people were going there… it was tough but we tried to keep up appearances for it to seem like we are doing well,” says Ngwenya.

It was expensive. He started taking money from his corporate division, that distributes bulk unbranded socks, to finance Skinny Sbu Socks. The problem was he was also living a life of a rock star, traveling, partying and buying gifts for girls; all through the business account.

“Stuttafords was taking a big percentage of the money and all in all, in just a year, all these things cost me R800,000 ($60,000).”




The whole business suffered. He tried to take up speaking engagements to supplement the income. It didn’t help.

“I started borrowing money from friends and family just to survive. I lost my apartment, car and everything. I couldn’t afford the life I was living anymore and my debts kept piling.”

He moved back home, to Tsakane, a township east of Johannesburg, with his grandmother. It humbled him. It was time to start over.

“My sister went out of her way and took a huge personal loan to help me. My uncle also played a huge role in helping me. I needed someone who could look out for the numbers of the business so we didn’t mismanage the money,” says Ngwenya.

His uncle was what he needed. He helped him revive the dying business.

“We did a whole turn around to make sure we build up the business again. I am now very careful with every rand. It was a huge character-building experience that taught me not to rush into things and not to treat a business account as a personal account.”




Together with his uncle, they are also reassessing the business marketing strategy and ensuring Ngwenya concentrates on the creative design of the socks.
“I am happy this happened now rather than in 10 years when I have a family and larger responsibilities.  Someone once said to me ‘you didn’t go to school to study what you are doing. This mistake was your school fees. You needed something that was going to wake you up’.

Unfortunately I had to pay close to R1 million ($76,500) for my fees,” says Ngwenya.

Source: Forbes Africa

Do Not Have A Baby To Fix Your Marriage. I Tried It, I Failed

I do not write this from a place of regret. My conscience is clear when I look back and see that I did all I could to save a marriage that turned sour for reasons I couldn’t fathom at the time

There are no sad tales about my courtship with my ex husband but as soon as we started living together, we got on each other’s nerves a lot. It was a small house, a one bedroom apartment where there was really no where to go when both of us needed space. The things life throws at you when you’re not looking…

Living in London, you really have to plan for things. My husband and I said we weren’t going to have kids for the first 2 years to give us room to save for a bigger place and at least one year if child care. However, we started having issues from the first 6 months. My mother said this was normal, so sis my married friends.

I moved from Birmingham to London to live with my husband so we didn’t really live together or spend more than 4 days together at a time, you would think that’s enough to know someone. Little things like playing loud music in the shower early in the morning and not cleaning up after himself to big things like budgeting and saving caused a huge rift between us. Still, I didn’t think this was a huge issue because I did really love him and I wanted things to work out

One of those days when we had a shouting match, he blurted out that he didn’t want to get married but his mother’s pastor said his destiny in becoming successful was tied to him getting married. So he did and now he’s miserable. I asked him that day if he wanted some time away, I could go back to Birmingham until he cleared his head but he insisted he’s in the marriage now and there was nothing he could do



He became more and more quiet, I ran out of ideas in trying to please him. Even when we go for functions, he would ignore me throughout making people notice things weren’t well between us. He wasn’t cheating, I knew this for sure because it was from work to him or hang out with his friend at the backyard or church meetings. Also, my intuition never hinted me if it

The thing with getting advice from different people is that it drown out the truth your soul is telling you. I wanted badly for the marriage to work, so i spoke to everyone who was ready to listen and one or two elderly people said “why don’t you get pregnant? The baby will bring him around”. I went off the birth control and the few times we had sex, I made sure to initiate it. When I got pregnant, things had gotten worse, my husband wouldn’t even look at me when he’s talking to me. And he speaks to me maybe a couple of times a week. I sent him a text with the pregnancy result, expecting some sort of reaction. He didn’t reply the message and when I got home, he looked me in the eye for the first time in days and said in the coldest manner I’ve ever heard him speak to anyone “This pregnancy is on you. When you have the baby, it is on you.”

I was shocked into silence. I cried and begged but I still couldn’t get through to him. Again, my mother said “wait till you have the child, he will come around”

I had the baby last year June and he wouldn’t even come see us at the hospital. How does marriage turn a kind man to one who acted indiffrently? This is an innocent child we have both made, I expected that he at least had some feelings towards him





In December 2016, I moved back to Birmingham. The environment in the house was too toxic for my child and I.

We are not divorced yet but he has made it clear he doesn’t want to be married. Not to me or anyone. Even though he is coming to see the child and has started sending money monthly, he still hasn’t changed towards me. Infact, he is more angry at me for having the baby

My guts told me having a child won’t change the situation but I listened more to people than the voice in my head. I love my child but the idea of raising him by myself makes me cry so much. I have not done anything to deserve the life that I live now but by telling this story, I hope women see the need to choose themselves first and leave a man who has refused to be loved, rather than trap him with a child . If he doesn’t want to be with you, a child won’t bridge the gap

Idris Elba

“The Sky Is Not My Limit, I Have No Boundaries” – #MCM Idris Elba

Born to a Ghanaian mother and a Sierra Leonian father, Idris Elba is ashamed he hasn’t been to Sierra Leone. 
“There’s a Sierra Leonean saying that you don’t walk into someone’s house with your two long arms,” he explains, and then translates it into Krio – the Sierra Leoneon creole he learned growing up: “Yu no for go na pass in us wit you long arm.” He says the words carefully, with the air of someone who has absorbed a language, but never used it much. “I want to go to Sierra Leone with something – whether it’s some sort of contribution to healthcare, or to the entertainment industry. My cousin is a nurse; we are talking about opening a clinic.”

Sierra Leone’s breathtaking landscape – with some of the most beautiful beaches in Africa – is also one of the world’s best-kept secrets, and Idris Elba has plans to use it. “I would really like to open a studio in Sierra Leone. It’s a country that can actually house and look like many parts of the world,” he says. “If I could somehow encourage a film community to use Sierra Leone as the studio in West Africa to make films there, that would be really cool.”

Idris ELba says his parents have OBE, the West African TV channel, on all the time. But the offerings of “Nollywood” are something Elba clearly only watches under duress.
Different strokes for different folks,” he says, laughing. “My parents love those films, they relate to them. But for me… the mistakes in continuity, the music playing over the dialogue the whole time, and there is always a central character who is an African woman screaming! Always!”




On his background versus fame
“I have the  best memories of playing outside with my friends. We had very little but it didn’t matter. We’d go from Hackney (London, United Kingdom) across to Canning Town. It was the simple things that I enjoyed and I still do. It was a poor area back then but it taught me a lot. So today, when I think about how I have been nominated for these awards as an actor, I’m like ‘Wow, this is quite special for a boy who used to hang around Canning Town.’

“I spent 20 years trying to crack it either as an actor  or a DJ, now I’m lucky enough to be able to do both…” Read: God Knew I Needed My Past Experiences To Be Able to Deal With My Present Success” -Ramsey Nouah

“I’ve been poor most of my life, so now I don’t really do things based on money, I do things on authenticity of how I feel. I mean, it’s important not to give yourself boundaries, which we can do quite easily, okay? People talk about aiming for the skies. Sometimes even aiming for the skies is intimidating. Just don’t give yourself boundaries. Your sky and my sky might be different, you know what I mean? Neither of us will touch the sky if we give ourselves boundaries.




I’d rather people go, ‘You know what, I’m not going to restrict myself,’ or go, ‘I can only do this,’ or ‘I can only do that,’ or, ‘I have to do it this way,’ or, ‘I have to do it that way.’ Inner magic, is that actually if I can see myself doing it, I can probably do it. I think it’s important that people just go, lose the boundaries, lose the conformity, and just go for it.”

I’m an ambitious person. I never consider myself in competition with anyone, and I’m not saying that from an arrogant standpoint, it’s just that my journey started so, so long ago, and I’m still on it and I won’t stand still.

These are the things I as a strong independent woman want from a man

These are The Things I, As A strong Independent Woman Want From A Man

I don’t need an award before I know I am a survivor and I have grown to become self reliant and sufficient. These are the things I as a strong independent woman want from a man

1. Someone who pulls his own weight.

I have no problem “caring” for someone else, but I do not want to “take care” of someone, meaning someone who expects me to do most of the work. A relationship is a two-way street. If he cannot help me financially, he needs to be useful in the house and in my life one way or the other. I too, need taking care of

2. His Intelligence and drive matches my own.

I am sensually stimulated by deep conversations and intelligence. It’s important to look for a partner who can keep up with me. I’ll need someone with whom I can match wits. I’ll want to bounce ideas off of them without those ideas going directly over their head.
Loving-Kindness

3. Love and Kindness

I am where I am because I have been hurt and I have healed, my guards are up now and it may not be easy to let them down. We often get coined for being the “bitch”, “emotionless” and “too strong.” But truth is, in order for us to be a “strong independent woman” we have to go through a ton of trials and tribulations to keep us there. I stand my ground on decisions because when I don’t, no one listens to me. Even when I’m vulnerable, I do not have a choice but to show confidence. It has become a habit. Deep inside, compassion is what I really need, so I want a kind motional man who is strong enough to make me feel protected while at it.




4. I Don’t Want to Be the Sole Proprietor of Her Life

I love running my own business but I no longer want to do everything by myself. I want a man whose independence makes me feel good enough to ask for help. Inside of me lives a wounded little girl who sorely wants a relationship. Don’t write me off so quickly. I want to feel that somehow someone feels responsible for me. I want that man to embrace my indolence but also allow me to lean on him

5. A man who’ll understand when I crave my alone time

I’m used to being alone. I have grown to enjoy my solitude. I want a man who won’t sulk when I ask for some alone time. He must understand that I love him and enjoy his company but I really also grow and thrive with new ideas when I’m by myself. No need to sugar coat things, I RELISH my alone time. I find solace in my gym routines and curling up with a good book and some wine after a long day seems absolutely PERFECT. I hope theres a man out there for me who’ll understand this and give me the space that I need

I hope he’s also able to do his own thing because we’re partners in love not conjoined twins.




6. Friendship

I want an ongoing friendship with my man. Have lived life by cultivating friendship and appreciating loyalty. What I don’t need is a man who cannot be my friend. The surest way to earn my respect and my heart is to allow me be who I am and also be playful with me like my female friends will be. When we’re friends, you won’t get easily offended by my quirks, you’ll understand me easily and know that this is who I am

7. Most importantly, I want a good man in my life.

I need a man—for intimacy, support, travel, and shared experiences of sorrow, joy, and appreciation for the simple pleasures of life. But in all, a good man will make relationship/marriage easy. He worries about hurting my feelings and he respects himself enough not to take advantage of me. Maybe I should have made this my number one, but I guess I saved the best for last

food trolley

Are you that friend who raids her friend’s kitchen every time you visit and takes home a food trolley?

Are you that friend who raids her friend’s kitchen every time you visit and takes home a food trolley?

There are some things I hate to buy at the grocery store…like Ijebu Garri, Tomatoes and pepper, red oil… these things just seem like things you buy in the market and they’re considerably cheaper. If I can’t go to the market, I take advantage of my friends’ pantry or kitchen. There’s always something to take home

I’m sure the security in my friends’ houses would have gossiped about me very well, but I don’t really care. I have no shame when it comes to these things. If I have stopped by to take garri, there must be a bonus gift like Tissue, kitchen towels, Milk, fried goat meat, new toothbrush etc etc.

It has gotten to stage where some of my friends say “ah you’re not taking anything today?” These set of friends get the look but I still check anyway to see if there’s something I may need. The nice ones will say “let me help me you pack a bowl of Afang before you decide to help yourself and take all my meat”. Very wise friends I have I must tell you.

All these confessions I’m making is because of food trolley. I never heard of them until I went to a friend’s house to visit and during raid time, she asked that I just order from food trolley instead of taking a small portion from her house. I ordered…. and it arrived in less than 3 hours! WAWU. I’m not a fan of online stores as most times what you see is not what you get but, with food trolley, I got exactly the things I ordered. Plus the price of garri was exactly the same as I would buy in the local market. WIN WIN

As a business woman that I is, I sent them a message “food trolley I like your service, let me help you tell my readers about your online store but you have to pay me”. Don’t judge me, this blogging thing will not pay itself.

The rest as they say, is history. My friends are free of my raiding moves, I don’t have to be a nuisance to the security anymore and now, Food Trolley says they got me 100%.

Get a free pack of frozen chicken on every order.You can also use my discount code “DANG” for 10% off your shopping overtime you order. Order on their website HERE

Have you tried their online store? Tell us your experience.

Dear Queen: An Open Letter To Women Frustrated With Being Single

Dear Queen: An Open Letter To Women Frustrated With Being Single

Dear Queen: An Open Letter To Women Frustrated With Being Single

Just days away from the new year, I sat and fought back tears after being dumped by a man that I had been seeing for a couple of months. Although the split was amicable, I was still very angry over the idea that once again, I was ending the old year and beginning the New Year single.

With hot tears beginning to stream down my face, I angrily asked God why he kept sending me men that were not worthy of my heart or time. Luckily within that same thought I quickly apologized and realized that He makes no mistakes. Still pint up with frustration and sorrow I decided that the most therapeutic thing for me to do was to write an open letter to any woman who was feeling distraught over why Mr. Right hadn’t come into her life yet.

Dear Queen,

I am penning this open letter to you and any individual who is sad, upset, or angry and frustrated with being single.




Two words: DON’T BE.

Always remember that what is for you, will ALWAYS be for you my Queen.

When the timing is right and the chemistry is real, there will never be a single doubt that this is the right man for you.

Period. Read:Don’t Be That Girl: Over 30, Single, Desperate and Worried

Now remember, a love so great will take time, Queen, but just know that YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH.

The man that God has prepared for you will never judge you from your past or previous mistakes. He will not “nit-pick” or break down your character in an attempt to change you into something that you are not. Lastly, He will not manipulate you into thinking that your love will never be good enough. Instead, He will be your light in a world full of darkness. He will be your shield during the moments when you cannot even shield yourself. He will be the warmth you have always needed when your heart had felt so cold and empty after so many let downs and disappointments.




You see, my Queen, this type of man will not devalue you as a woman when you express your feelings by labeling you a “drama queen” “argumentative” “crazy” or “emotional.” In contrast, he will value your feelings and will also appreciate your expression for you both share the common end goal of having a beautiful, peaceful, long lasting relationship.

So as you prepare to achieve your goals and elevate your standards…continue to radiate your beauty, intelligence, cunningness and kindness for your King will naturally gravitate towards you with an open heart, mind and spirit.

“Dear Queen: An Open Letter To Women Frustrated With Being Single” was Written By: Megan Jumfuoh for XOnecole.com