My Father-in-Law Called Off My Engagement With His Daughter Because I didn’t ask For his Blessing First. Are we in 1920?

Photo credit: shutterstock 2 August 02, 2017 By Dang

I got engaged to my girlfriend of two years during our holiday in Europe. It wasn’t planned, I just woke up beside her one day and decided it was time. My fiancée immediately called her mum to tell her what had happened and then she spoke to her dad as well, we both did. They seemed genuinely happy for us and also prayed for us. We continued our two weeks holiday but things went sour two days before it was over

My fiancée’s brother called her to let her know her dad said I had disrespected him. I had gone ahead to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage without talking to him first. I was shocked! It never occurred to me to make a phone call to him first before proposing. Also, everyone knew the only destination for us was marriage so hearing that my father-in-law to be was angry confused me

Obviously my fiance was distraught, she could not enjoy the holiday anymore and her father refused to speak with her on the phone, she just wanted to go home. Gradually I began to get really angry, this lady didn’t deserve what she was gong through, if her father had a problem with me, he should have discussed with me or my parents, now the holiday was ruined for her

When we got back to Abuja, I took her straight home, even though I was angry, I tucked it away for my baby’s sake and went on to apologise to her father. He was having none of it, so I left their house and made up my mind there was more to what was happening and if this is how he can get over such happy news, I’m not sure I want him as a father in law

Things got messier when he asked my fiancée to stop wearing the engagement ring. So she would only wear it when she’s out of the house and take it off when she’s almost home. My dad has also tried to speak with him but he’s insisting he was disrespected and we all need to be patient until he gets over it.

DANG! How ridiculous is this? I am mad at him for not thinking about how unhappy this is making his daughter. She has agreed to go ahead and marry me even without his consent but I would never do that to her. She loves her family, our marriage would never be whole if she was estranged from her father

It’s been two months now, we are still waiting, we can’t even make any plans because this man has practically put our lives on hold. Sometimes I try not to berate myself for not asking him first. It never occurred to me at all to do so as we were away.

Did I make a mistake? Is there something I should have done differently?


2 comments on “My Father-in-Law Called Off My Engagement With His Daughter Because I didn’t ask For his Blessing First. Are we in 1920?

  1. Ms Tomilola

    I do feel as though you should have spoken to her dad first or even just waited to go and deliver the news in person to him. Nonetheless her dad is being selfish and not taking his daughter’s feelings into consideration. He can still be upset and allow her to continue to progress with the marriage plans (and wear her ring)! She bi he’s not opposing the marriage, he needs to move past it. I wrote a post on exactly this issue have a read… “Permission To Say Yes”


  2. Ell

    I’m sorry but that father is a terrible human. How long does he want to carry on like this for? She I the boy has even apologized, his father has spoken with the man too. Haba



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