I have five nephews, three of whom were deposited in my house at my request, Age range from 4 to 13. It’s been a while since I spent a whole week with my nephews as they would normally come spend weekends, I assumed that would be the same process.
Aunty knows best:
The 14yr old comes into my room, flops himself beside me on the bed looking at his phone dejectedly.
Me: What’s wrong?
Nephew: I think I said something wrong to Cynthia, she won’t call me back
Me: [Ears flare like a rabbit’s. But I don’t look at him] Who is Cynthia?
Nephew: My friend. When she called me, I told her I’ll call her back, I wanted to finish playing my game. When I finished playing the game, I called her back, she didn’t pick up but sent me a text saying “go and talk to your game”
Me: [Trying really hard not to smile] Tell her you’re sorry. Then go back to playing your game, she’ll call you back
Nephew: You sure?
I have new stylists:
The other day I was going for a quick drink with friends. As they watched me dress up, they all chipped in on the colour of lipstick I should use and what shoes they thought would fit my crop top and high waist denim. “I don’t think you should wear that out, aunty. Do you have a jacket?” Says the 8 Year Old who is super smart. “why can’t I wear this?” I asked him, “well, it’s too small, your tummy is showing and you may catch a cold”
Oh my chwessttt!
I am now a self-certified Nurse:
There is always a mini emergency and aunty is there to spray quick perfume on a bruised knee from a bicycle accident, constant cleaning of a runny nose that won’t stop, and the 4yr old would usually grab my hand, place my palms on his neck, looking up at me with his cute chubby face and in all seriousness tell me, “check my temperature, am I hot? Do you think I need milo and milk to calm me down?” My response is always a resounding “NO!”
My eardrums are literally crying:
Why do they scream so much, especially at one another? “Give meeeeeeeee” “Leave meeeeee..” “I want to watch Henry danger. Change the channel to henry dangeerrrrrr”. I find myself screaming “indoor voice guys!”. Everyone goes quiet for like 10 seconds, then the loud bickering resumes.
I need to look for my bedroom keys!- I never bother to lock my door so I’d never bothered to look for the keys. One week of these lovely guests have taught me to hire a search party or get a carpenter to fix new locks! These kids don’t even knock despite my constant instructions to do so, they just barge in screaming at each other and looking at me to intercede. The 4yr old has absolutely no respect for my nudity even when I scream “Get out I’m naked!!!” He just continues what he came into the room to say in the first place and doesn’t leave until I respond to his needs.
I usually don’t sleep till 3 or 4 am, I have found myself sleeping at 11.30pm/12am in the past week due to exhaustion
Who knew these kids would cure my insomnia?