Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Instagram and Facebook make it easy to look at other couples and think, “Damn, I wish we were like that.” Even if on a subconscious level, couple envy definitely happens. A few examples easily come to mind:
Jamal and Monica got a new house. Wow, that’s huge! One day we’ll get a house like that.
Justin and Ashley are on ANOTHER trip! They travel all the time together. Must be nice.
Aw, look at the status Nina posted about Eric. She is always uplifting her man. I wish my girl did that.
Oh My God her ring is flawless. And that wedding? Must be nice to have an unlimited budget.
And so on and so on. Even outside of social media, going on double dates or casually talking with a friend about how their relationship is going can sometimes make you feel insecure about your own. “Oh yeah, Steve and I pray together every night before bed.” And you’re thinking “Wow, I wish my man were more godly.”
STOP IT! Comparison is indeed the thief of joy. It’s so easy to get caught up in what we don’t have when we look at what others do have. This is toxic for your relationship and also for your happiness. There will always be a couple with a bigger house, smarter kids, more disposable income, better sex, and a more mature spiritual life. But what you and Bae have is special too. I encourage you to focus on what’s going right in your relationship, and collaboratively work with your spouse to identify areas of improvement.
Looking at others and making comparisons is dangerous. Stop, take a deep breath, and remember, you can “admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.”