Can You Still Maintain A Friendship Even When You Dislike Your Friend’s Man?
Every woman will have at least that one friend whose partner she can’t stand or manage to get along with. In my case, it happened between a very close friend and I. When my friend got married to a man I didn’t really fancy I thought it didn’t matter and shouldn’t affect our friendship. Since I lack the “people pleasing” talent, even though I was never rude, I also didn’t make any effort to be extra friendly
It occurred to me that the feeling was mutual so it made it easier for me to stay away by keeping things short and cordial with him
There was a problem though, I didn’t feel my friend was comfortable. When I realised she had let her husband know on several occasions that she wouldn’t stop being friends with me because of him, I knew it was time to make an effort to make everyone comfortable when we’re together. She didn’t have to argue with her husband about me if I made an effort to be nicer and less dismissive
I was only thinking about my friend in this case, I do really love her and I knew going the extra mile to do this would take away one of her problems. So, one day, when she was away from the country, I texted her to let her know I was going to check up on her husband and the kids. I got there with a bottle of wine and I noticed the man was surprised. I am a sales person so I know how to pitch people without making them uncomfortable
I spent two hours in their home talking about nothing and everything with the husband. It was awkward at first but it became easier as time passed. Now, we have found mutual respect for each other, talk at length when it is necessary and are comfortable in each other’s company
Do all that you can to take the pressure off your friend and focus on finding a common ground with her husband and only confront her about him on the things he does which directly affect you. If it doesn’t directly affect you, keep quiet and work on self-control, supporting her and accepting him
I believe we don’t have to lose good friends because they chose men we don’t like or trust. If your friend stands up for you in her home, you owe her the courtesy to make things easier for her if it is in your power to do so.