Throw Away The Marriage Facade: How Is Your Marriage?

1 June 29, 2017 By Dang

Dear woman, think about this carefully, how is your marriage? Is your man afraid of losing you as much as you are afraid of losing him? Is he praying everyday for God to kill all the men out there that may want to destroy his marriage? When you show him you will stay with him regardless, compromising your own self-respect, dignity, and happiness, why should he be afraid of losing you? This is what our parents call patience, because as a woman you have no right to genuine happiness in your life/marriage until your husband says so

When people say “pray for your husband to change, all of them are the same, pray for other women to die by fire if they refuse to let your husband be”…They are asking you to pray in fear.Pray for and with a man who is willing to do better. A man whose heart is hardened and plays no value on your relationship? That man will not changed even if you call down all the angles to speak with him. Some women say “I’m focused on my children now, no time for man” Is that what you signed up for? When your children leave will you become that mother who keeps jumping from one child’s home to another just because she can’t stand her husband?

The reason men cheat and get away with it is because women don’t make it a deal breaker. Cheating is not a norm, not all men cheat. When there are no deal breakers in a relationship, when anything goes, when you have allowed your husband to get away with everything, you do yourself a disservice. Every time you allow it to happen you prove to him that he can do it again and when a man knows he can get away with ANYTHING, he begins to lose respect for you

Remember, once they lose respect for you their feelings will change anyway, it is just a matter of time. Why? Because you cannot really love what you do not respect. By putting up with intolerable behaviour you may hold on to him longer. But expect the bad treatment to continue, or get worse, because you have taught him he can do terrible things to you and won’t lose you. Don’t expect him to feel too guilty either. If your hurt feelings are not enough for you to put yourself first, you can’t expect him to put your feelings first either

Sometimes people who love us take advantage of us because they assume we will always be there, but when we withdraw the attention and let them know you have decided to deposit all that love back into your life, they adjust their ways, because that is how important you are

YOU, as a human deserve to be treated better. YOU can put yourself first and see if he’ll begin to act better. YOU deserve to enjoy life in your own way as much as a the husband too.Fight for your marriage, in all the ways you know how but never ever neglect yourself. YOU are IMPORTANT TOO! Marriage should not kill your soul and spirit, it should elevate both. If there are no changes even after all your efforts and you putting your foot down, leave him! Yes, I said it. God hates divorce, he does not hate the divorced.


One comment on “Throw Away The Marriage Facade: How Is Your Marriage?

  1. Anonymous

    Please keep me anonymous. You couldn’t have put this up at a better time. I decided to end my 8 year old marriage and I am not remorseful. I am not even sad, I have suitors lining outside my door already, all of them worthy distractions.

    Why did I leave? My soon to be ex takes the piss. Comes home whenever he likes, never pays for anything, and sex chats with girls. I’ve walked in on conversations were he was outright toasting a babe and he would tell me she’s just his friend and I am invading his privacy. He locks his phone for my own good and when I ask about anything, he says I should mind my business.

    I know these things sound basic to a lot of women, Una Weh Done! I am not basic. I stayed just waiting to have a child but after the latest one, I have pretty much had enough. He slept with a call girl. I presented every evidence to him including the chat and financial transfer evidence and he’s still denying it. What a wawu. E don do. If the plan was to leave his sorry ass after having a child, i.e be a single mum, then I can have child for anyone. He was never going to be a provider, I was probably going to have to do everything anyway, maybe now I can get a proper partner and father for my future kids, abi now. Worst case, a rich baby daddy. He’s begging now and I’m not even moved. Why should I be? I remember speaking to him about his attitude, but nothing. I was funding his trysts with his lovers and in the face of glaring evidence, he will deny it or just plain ignore me. This time, I packed a bag and I’m not looking back. He still thinks it’s a joke and I’m teaching him a lesson, I can’t wait till he realizes how serious this is.

    What saddens me though is that there is no real victory for me here. From the tone of his pleas, I won’t be missed as much as the comfort I give. That stings more than I care to admit but also fuels my will power to leave. I will not finance a grown mans life just so that he will stay with me. He can have all the furniture I paid for, I will be just fine.



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