I have been going to the airport clinic for the past two days to get yellow card to prove that I’ve been vaccinated against yellow fever. This is for a trip I’m embarking on in a few months. It’s either they had closed or the card had finished. Today, I got lucky, they were open and according to the security, they had enough yellow cards
I walked in to the clinic itself and entered the room where the door read “nurses”. “Good afternoon ma, I would like to get the yellow card”. There were three women seated and like it was choreographed, they all looked up at me, down to my toes and up again then went back to filling yellow cards. What did I do now? So I directed my question to the woman closest to me “ma’am I would like a yellow card please. What do I need to do.” She said without looking up “write your name in the register outside and wait”. So I did
I was on the phone talking to my friend’s sister so I got carried away. When I checked the time, I noticed I’d been waiting for over 30minutes and people who came in after me were no longer there. My friend’s sister told me, “go back inside and kiss their ass”
I entered the room and zeroed in on one of the women, speaking in Yoruba I said “Ahn Ahn mummy, I remember you from our church Ayo Ni. You don’t remember me?” She looked up at me and said irritably “you and who? What church? I don’t know you from any church o”. “But me I know you sha. What did I do now? People have come and gone and you haven’t called my name” I pulled up a chair and sat close to her, shoulder to shoulder. One of the other women responded “Ahn Ahn sebi you came in hanging your bag on one hand, wearing short dress and speaking grammar. Did you keep us here? Go and continue posing o. The card is almost finished” she waved the three remaining cards in my face
WAWU!!! Someone cannot wear short dress and speak grammar in peace again?
I shut the door and addressed the 3 women. “My mummies, is that my offense? I’m sorry. Please don’t let the cards finish. See? I have put my bag down. (I dropped my bag on the chair) I’m not speaking grammar again.” Then I started singing and swaying “mummy oooooooo wa Pe la ye, mummy eeeeeeee wa jeun omo, e ni bani ko ni ri be…” (Mummy o, you’ll live long…’ Mummy o…you’ll live to enjoy your children. Woe to those who say otherwise) by this time they were cracking up.
One of the women opened a drawer, lo and behold I saw a long stack of new yellow cards. Needless to say I got my yellow card and made new friends
Lagos na wa!