For The Women Racing To Have Children Before It’s ‘Too Late’

2 June 22, 2017 By Dang

For The Women Racing To Have Children Before It’s ‘Too Late’

Dear You,

When I was your age, I was either on my way to college or already enrolled in a university that would light my path towards a lifelong dream to be a writer. Life writes and maps out our journey before we know the road we’ll travel down ourselves, and as an early 20-something, I swore that babies would be the last thing on my mind. But life happens and at 21, I got pregnant. The same people I entered my Freshman year with, were walking across stages and entering the real world. My reality looked different and I fell into a toxic cycle of self-deprecation, comparing my chapter five with someone else’s chapter one.

At 21, you know more than what you did three years ago, but there’s still some life to live. You need to break a few hearts and through expectations, have your own broken a time or two. At 25, what I called my Golden Year, you’ll start to understand people more–more so, yourself–and you’ll either be living your childhood aspirations that you spent thousands on in higher education, or you’re beginning to understand that the trajectory of your life isn’t what you envisioned. Twenty-five is the age of awakening and for me, I was in weird space raising two little beings and feeling like a baby to the world.

As I near 30, what I know now is that you’re always a student and should be receptive to learning. Things work best when it happens in its own time, and when we force things that demand patience and a certain level of maturity, we cannot be our best selves. This is not to say that you cannot find you at an early age–it happens. This isn’t to say that you can’t be a kick ass mother before the age of 25 or after 35–I’m a testament to that–but taking your time produces the best result.

Letting God, the cosmos, whatever deity you believe in, be the one in control and steering the wheel of your existence, will never guide you in the wrong direction.

We coerce things and run against imaginary theories that leave us settling and filling a void to find “happiness.” Take your time. Stop rushing. Allow things to happen organically.

It took years of acceptance and coming to terms with my truth and how my life panned out, but if I could do it all over again, I would see the world and Eat, Pray, Love my way to understanding myself.

I would be a better mom if I had waited. I know that now.

Written by: Erica Nichole
This is an excerpt of a post from


2 comments on “For The Women Racing To Have Children Before It’s ‘Too Late’

  1. Solafunmi

    25 is really the age of awakening. I clocked 25 in January, and now its like a veil had just been lifted from my face. I understand things more, I suddenly stopped catching unnecessary feelings, I have a clearer picture of the future I want. I am in a deeper relationship with God. Thank God I didn’t rush things in my early 20s. I am now so calm in my spirit and soul. I relate to people even better, I enrolled for post graduate studies, I take my career more serious now. I love my self now like never before. I pamper myself so much now even people around me have noticed. Thank you for write ups like this DANG. You dont know how you have been a blessing to little girls like me??


  2. Don

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