It’s father’s day weekend. I’ll tell you some of my dad’s antics that crack me up and frustrate the life out of me
My dad is a pastor so quite popular in his church. I have learnt not to call him on Wednesdays, Sundays or when he’s at a gathering. When I call him on one of these days, this is our conversation after initial pleasantries
Me: So take care, I’ll call soon
Dad: [Distracted talking to someone else] Ah its my daughter Tamedu on the phone o. Do you want to say hello to her
Me: No no daddy I have to go. I don’t want to talk to anyone
Strange Voice: Hellooooo Tamedu, how are youuuuu? This is Mrs Ajanlekoko, remember me?
Me: [Fuming in the brain and trying hard not to sound dismissive] Yes Ma. [I don’t remember]
Strange Voice: You should come around more ehn. And try and send me something through your dad o
Me: I’ll try ma. Have a wonderful day ma
*Dad gets back on the phone*
Dad: Ehen, so I’ll call you later. May the Lord bless you, make your day be prosperous… [long prayer]
Me: Amen. Daddy I don’t like when you just hand over the phone to people like that, it’s not cool
Dad: Don’t be rude!
Suspicious and Intrusive Dad: One day, at 7.05am, 2 years ago, I heard a knock on my door. Wondering who it could be that early, I heard my brother shuffle to the door and in seconds, heard my dad’s voice! I panicked. Oh my goodness, what may have happened? As I was dressing up in a hurry, I heard my brother ask him “Is everything okay daddy? It’s quite early” His response: “Nothing o. I was at Yaba and I thought to stop by”
NIGGAAA, how do you stop by at Lekki Phase 1 from Yaba? What kind of long journey ‘stop by’ is that? This man came to sneak up on me and that’s the excuse I get? I sat down on my bed and called both of my sisters to report him. I also didn’t go out for like 10minutes and when I decided to, I saw him standing hands akimbo in front of the fridge and first thing he said to me was “this is why you’re skinny, there’s no food in this fridge”. I mentally placed my hand on my palms and asked God to fix the situation
Sarcastic DAD: My dad was the king of sarcasm until I grew up, read more and took over. However, he still has it in him. When I go visiting or we meet at parties, I see him quickly make a mental note of my attire. He says things like “why is this dress so long? (short dress)…you must have been in a hurry since you forgot to wear ‘shimi’ (chemise) under this very transparent top” . One day I decided to mess with him. I just arrived at a family friend’s party and as usual, I got the look. He said to me “your skirt is torn”. No it wasn’t torn, it was a dress with a very high slit. “Daddy I fell from the bike on my way here that’s why my dress is torn” I responded with a serious face. He stood up suddenly and grabbed me to take a good look at me, my sister and I busted into fits of laughter. I told him, “Two can play that game”
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY PAPI. WITH ALL YOUR WAHALA, I LOVE YOU.