Father’s Day: My Daddy’s Antics

3 June 17, 2017 By Dang

It’s father’s day weekend. I’ll tell you some of my dad’s antics that crack me up and frustrate the life out of me

My dad is a pastor so quite popular in his church. I have learnt not to call him on Wednesdays, Sundays or when he’s at a gathering. When I call him on one of these days, this is our conversation after initial pleasantries

Me: So take care, I’ll call soon
Dad: [Distracted talking to someone else] Ah its my daughter Tamedu on the phone o. Do you want to say hello to her
Me: No no daddy I have to go. I don’t want to talk to anyone
Strange Voice: Hellooooo Tamedu, how are youuuuu? This is Mrs Ajanlekoko, remember me?
Me: [Fuming in the brain and trying hard not to sound dismissive] Yes Ma. [I don’t remember]
Strange Voice: You should come around more ehn. And try and send me something through your dad o
Me: I’ll try ma. Have a wonderful day ma
*Dad gets back on the phone*
Dad: Ehen, so I’ll call you later. May the Lord bless you, make your day be prosperous… [long prayer]
Me: Amen. Daddy I don’t like when you just hand over the phone to people like that, it’s not cool
Dad: Don’t be rude!

Suspicious and Intrusive Dad: One day, at 7.05am, 2 years ago, I heard a knock on my door. Wondering who it could be that early, I heard my brother shuffle to the door and in seconds, heard my dad’s voice! I panicked. Oh my goodness, what may have happened? As I was dressing up in a hurry, I heard my brother ask him “Is everything okay daddy? It’s quite early” His response: “Nothing o. I was at Yaba and I thought to stop by”

NIGGAAA, how do you stop by at Lekki Phase 1 from Yaba? What kind of long journey ‘stop by’ is that? This man came to sneak up on me and that’s the excuse I get? I sat down on my bed and called both of my sisters to report him. I also didn’t go out for like 10minutes and when I decided to, I saw him standing hands akimbo in front of the fridge and first thing he said to me was “this is why you’re skinny, there’s no food in this fridge”. I mentally placed my hand on my palms and asked God to fix the situation

Sarcastic DAD: My dad was the king of sarcasm until I grew up, read more and took over. However, he still has it in him. When I go visiting or we meet at parties, I see him quickly make a mental note of my attire. He says things like “why is this dress so long? (short dress)…you must have been in a hurry since you forgot to wear ‘shimi’ (chemise) under this very transparent top” . One day I decided to mess with him. I just arrived at a family friend’s party and as usual, I got the look. He said to me “your skirt is torn”. No it wasn’t torn, it was a dress with a very high slit. “Daddy I fell from the bike on my way here that’s why my dress is torn” I responded with a serious face. He stood up suddenly and grabbed me to take a good look at me, my sister and I busted into fits of laughter. I told him, “Two can play that game”



3 comments on “Father’s Day: My Daddy’s Antics

  1. Pingback: Skinny Girl Problems - DANG

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