Living Together Before Marriage: Would You Do it?

Photo credit: facebook 8 May 25, 2017 By Dang

On living together before marriage

“Sooooo, we moved in together

I made a big fuss of it early on, worried really about the stigma of shacking up, and what my family would think

Come to find out, my parents lived together before they were married. Pshh. Who knew.

Funny how we make a big deal out of things when they don’t deserve the time and attention. Besides, why was public opinion more important than my own wants and decisions in the first place?
Perhaps what was most important to me was God’s opinion Read: One Thing Love Never Does To You

What does God say about shacking up? I did a couple of internet searches to see what the Bible says. Turns out, there are no scriptures that speak directly against it. Sex before marriage is frowned upon, but living together is not really mentioned. This was a great relief for me, and helped with my comfortability in our decision-making

Sooooo… what have we learned about each other since moving in? I am clean and he is moderately clean. Our standards are simply different. Agreeing on chores and a cleaning system that works for both of us has required honest communication and compromise. Bae came up with the great idea of splitting up chores by the rooms in the house. On Sunday, my pastor recommended that women not tell their men what to do AND how to do things

So I am trying not to boss HOW he cleans.The closeness of living together makes it all worth it though. I LOVE being in close contact with him. Before moving in together, we had to make a 45 minute drive to see each other. And before then, it was an hour and fifteen minutes. Before then, it was a 2 hour plane ride. So needless to say we are VERY grateful to see each other more regularly. The close proximity also makes us more playful, flirtatious and loving toward each other. It feels good

If you are thinking about moving in with Bae…here are a few things to consider:
1) Why do you want to move in together?
Take time to really think about it.  

READ ALSO:  To My Sisters, Don't Ever...

2) How does your decision align with your personal values? 

3) If not already engaged, create a deadline for how long you are willing to live together before engagement. Then, write it down! *baby girl/boy you, ever, get too, comfortable (comfortable)…#thanksWeezy*

4) How will you split household expenses and how will you communicate about them? 

5) What will happen when you fight? The “run away” conflict resolution method isn’t always the best when living with someone

Give this some thought.

Shannon Graham
blackyounglove.com

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8 comments on “Living Together Before Marriage: Would You Do it?

  1. Gnv

    I am a little bit confused. Just a little bit. Assuming but not conceding that the bible did not speak about cohabiting but speaks about pre-marital sex, how do you cohabit without having sex?
    What the writer has described above is synonymous to marriage. Why not wear adult pants and take the vow? What is the end game here? If the relationship does not work out, they break up and cohabit with the next person they date?
    This is supposed to be UAT (User Acceptance Test) before marriage?
    Still very confused biko.




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  2. Nubiaqween

    I had a conversation with a friend some days ago about this topic.its amazing how society shapes our idea of right and wrong .Honestly ,I’m up for this but with some ground rules though .I think divorce rates lld considerably reduce if people lived together for a while before marriage .
    Grt idea for a write up too. Lld def want to talk about this on my channel. Thanks for the inspo




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  3. Dominika

    This really spoke my mind. I really don’t think cohabitation is a sin nor a crime but both parties must know their purpose for doing so. This was such a thoughtful post. I blog at




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  4. Anonymous

    The bible doesn’t speak againt it. Well, the bible doesn’t receommend it either. If you are going to use the bible as a standard, then use it all through. Stop picking what agrees with you and dropping what doesn’t. That your parents lived together before marriage should not be your standard for right or wrong. Maybe you should ask your mother how she felt about the situation. Decide if you want to be single or married and stop with the one-leg-in-one-leg-out sturves.




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  5. cynthia

    personally, i say its not OK, because our parents did it does not make it right. also the bible did not say anything to support it. NO NO NO.




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  6. Jenny

    This isn’t making sense to me at all ooo, how do people think. You agree sex before marriage is wrong but recommend cohabitation which is synonymous to setting the pace for that which is WRONG.




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