On living together before marriage
“Sooooo, we moved in together
I made a big fuss of it early on, worried really about the stigma of shacking up, and what my family would think
Come to find out, my parents lived together before they were married. Pshh. Who knew.
Funny how we make a big deal out of things when they don’t deserve the time and attention. Besides, why was public opinion more important than my own wants and decisions in the first place?
Perhaps what was most important to me was God’s opinion Read: One Thing Love Never Does To You
What does God say about shacking up? I did a couple of internet searches to see what the Bible says. Turns out, there are no scriptures that speak directly against it. Sex before marriage is frowned upon, but living together is not really mentioned. This was a great relief for me, and helped with my comfortability in our decision-making
Sooooo… what have we learned about each other since moving in? I am clean and he is moderately clean. Our standards are simply different. Agreeing on chores and a cleaning system that works for both of us has required honest communication and compromise. Bae came up with the great idea of splitting up chores by the rooms in the house. On Sunday, my pastor recommended that women not tell their men what to do AND how to do things
So I am trying not to boss HOW he cleans.The closeness of living together makes it all worth it though. I LOVE being in close contact with him. Before moving in together, we had to make a 45 minute drive to see each other. And before then, it was an hour and fifteen minutes. Before then, it was a 2 hour plane ride. So needless to say we are VERY grateful to see each other more regularly. The close proximity also makes us more playful, flirtatious and loving toward each other. It feels good
If you are thinking about moving in with Bae…here are a few things to consider:
1) Why do you want to move in together?
Take time to really think about it.
2) How does your decision align with your personal values?
3) If not already engaged, create a deadline for how long you are willing to live together before engagement. Then, write it down! *baby girl/boy you, ever, get too, comfortable (comfortable)…#thanksWeezy*
4) How will you split household expenses and how will you communicate about them?
5) What will happen when you fight? The “run away” conflict resolution method isn’t always the best when living with someone
Give this some thought.