Damaged Ear,Broken Hip, Fractured skull: I am a Victim of Domestic Violence

17 May 25, 2017 By Dang

I am a victim of domestic violence

The first date I went with my husband, he shouted aggressively at the waiter, and turned back to me with a smile. Just like that, like a switch. I told him right there I didn’t think what he did was nice, he said he’s had issues with that same waiter before and he needed to put him in his place. I told myself to enjoy the dinner and not fret over little things. When I got home, I told my mum about it and she said to me “Don’t start finding faults in this one too o. Do you want a perfect man?”

Hmmmm…I gave myself a mental note to watch out for signs that he is aggressive, if there was one thing I used to say confidently, it was that I would never be caught in an abusive relationship, so I looked out for signs like a hawk. After that incident, nothing like that happened again and I must confess, I had the most amazing courtship, more than I imagined

Two weeks before the wedding, I received a phone call from a lady who said she was his ex girlfriend. She said she needed to talk to me and I should hear her out before I informed my fiancée of her call. I spoke to a few close friends and they asked me to meet with her, two of my friends also volunteered to go with me. When we met at an open lounge somewhere in Victoria Island, she said to me, “I have taken it upon myself to tell you this. Whatever you do with this information is up to you. Your fiancée and I dated for 6 months 3 years ago and he beat me 3 times. If you already know this, fine but if this is news to you, please think about it deeply before you marry him” Read: Despite The constant beating, I stayed…




First things first, I had never heard of this lady. So, I was a little insulted and wanted to defend my man immediately but my friends started bombarding her with questions. I noticed she was intimidated so she excused herself and never came back. I called my fiancee. He told me he would come over to the house and discuss it

By the time I got home, he had called my parents to report me. My mum especially was furious! She screamed at me, Why was I trying to sabotage my life? Where did I expect to meet someone as nice and gentle with me as him? Why did I even meet with the Ex in the first place? Didn’t I trust him. I was tired, everyone was talking, I was listening so they drowned out my own voice. When my fiancee got to the house, he was already crying, saying if I wanted to leave him I should just say so. My mum cried with him, apologising on my behalf. After all the drama, I asked him, “swear to me on your mother’s grave you didn’t hit that girl” He swore by God and his mother’s grave and that was good enough for me

Two months into the marriage, the beating started. First, it was because I greeted my ex at a party. As soon as we got home, he pinned me to the wall, held me up by my neck and kept repeating “don’t ever embarrass me like that again”. because I was shocked, I didn’t move, but when I started seeing blurs, I started struggling and crying. He let me go and apologised immediately.

I couldn’t tell anyone because he apologised for a whole week and promised it would never happen again. But it did happen, at the slightest provocation. But he would apologise with gifts etc. I told my mum about it one time and she called him to warn him, I asked her if that was all she would do, she said if he did such again I should move my things back home. I was too embarrassed to tell her that wasn’t the first time, so when she asked me, I lied




One day, he found out from my whatsapp messages I was secretly seeing a therapist. He seized my phones, told my parents we were going to have some time by ourselves to resolve some issues but instead, he locked me in the house. I was already feeling pains in my left ear so when he slapped me, I begged him to please hit me somewhere else, that my ears hurt already and I could hear it ring. He didn’t believe me, so he continued to hit me repeatedly on my left ear. For 3 days, I was locked up in the house, while my husband tried to teach me a lesson. The 3rd day while he was sleeping downstairs, I jumped off the balcony upstairs. I knew I had broken something but I didn’t care, I crawled to the gate, begged the security to take me to my neighbours house. The lady screamed when she saw me. I was a mess. Eyes and mouth swollen, I must have looked really bad

I asked her to take me to my parents house. As soon as my dad saw me, he put me in the car and took me straight to the hospital. I saw him cry silently but I had no tears left to join him. We found out I had broken a hip and some weeks later found out my right ear drum was damaged.

My dad reported him to the police but he told them I had mental issues and would throw myself off the stairs, hit my head on the wall to get his attention. There was no evidence that he hit me, so he was released.

Why didn’t I leave? I was broken, embarrassed and blamed myself sometimes. I am still broken but I write this to you so you can share. Any sign of violence should not be treated lightly. I didn’t leave at the first sign, here I am, half deaf.

Written by: Anonymous for Diaryofanaijagirl.com

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17 comments on “Damaged Ear,Broken Hip, Fractured skull: I am a Victim of Domestic Violence

  1. Anonymous

    For the man who raises his hand to hit a woman is a bastard..A retard..A psychopath..And I hope he finds a woman who hits twice as hard as he hits her..




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  2. Naomi

    She should leave please.. I grew up seeing this everyday of my life for over 15 years.. Inasmuch as Africans are family oriented and don’t encourage divorces, being raised in and “managing” such circumstances will ALMOST NEVER leave the psyche of the victim/kids..therapy or not.. We play with our mental stability too much..




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  3. Anonymous

    Just wow…m just speechless. Even tho the Bible encourage us to listen to our parent as long as it doesn’t go against God’s will but there are just something’s I NEVER let them decide or obey cos at d end it will be about me




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  4. Anonymous

    a man who beats women is a caward ..he cant raise his hands to other men so he does it to women instead …




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  5. Anonymous

    So crazy men as such still walk free. Our justice system is laughable. Dear poster, don’t look back. You deserve to be happy and free. The Lord be with you and order your footsteps for the journey ahead as you heal.




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  6. Ell

    It is absolutely ridiculous that the fellow was released. What do they mean no evidence? She couldn’t make a statement and swear an affidavit at the very least? I don’t understand.

    I just hope she has left him for good.




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  7. Anonymous

    The police is not your friend(Sad truth).I heard of a story where the man beat his wife,later in the evening,she drugged him and tied him to a chair.
    When he finally woke up, she used the head of his belt(that was what he used on her)to beat him to unconsciousness. Then took him to the hospital. Called his family,gave them the hospital address,went home,packed her things and left.
    Maybe she went back,maybe she didn’t but I don’t think he would ever lay hands on her again if she did for the fear of the unknown. Probably she may even poison him.(who am I to judge?)
    Moral of this story-the police is not your friend.




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  8. Anonymous

    This is so sad. I grew up in an abusive home. My dad beat my mum on a daily but she still loved him, cooked for him and hustled for the family. The annoying thing is that her people told her she had to stay and sort it out and people suffer different things in marriage. Now, my mum is not mentally stable because of all the trauma she went through. My dad is not remorseful and wants to marry another wife. Can u imagine!!!!.

    Fast forward to today my elder sis got married to a douche bag ( I don’t use this lightly) that abuses her psychologically (which I think is worse than being beat up). My sis is the smartest person in my entire family but she has been reduced to someone with low self esteem and she feels inadequate. My mum told her to leave after the first year, because she didn’t want her to suffer what she did. But she would not leave cos she watched my mum take all the BS all those years and still stayed.

    Now 6 six years and 3 kids later, she is still here.Suffering and smiling.

    I promised myself that I would rather stay single forever than leave in violence of any kind. Just because our society says getting married is compulsory.




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  9. Anonymous

    Physical can be seen but what about the emotional and psychological abuse. It’s not seen so nobody believes you. You even end up doubting yourself. Far more dangerous




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