I know some who know me would say I am very hardworking, which I am, when I want to be, while I’m at it.. but then I quit… a lot. And since my record of being a quitter has become so long, it is now staring at me in the face like a long rap sheet; evidence I cannot deny. And being that smart girl that I am, I have chosen to face it squarely. Not an easy feat as confronting this also means I have to confront the real issue, which is my fear of failure and my fear of mediocrity
Yes I give up because I am afraid to fail. I have always believed that anything worth doing is worth doing well and that basically has been my reasoning when I give up on things. I tell myself it is best not to be involved at all, than to be in it half heartedly. I tell myself instead of failing at this, instead of being medicore, let me just leave. The only problem with that is, by quitting I set myself up for certain failure in that thing because I give myself no other option.Read: “Don’t give up” Tyler Perry
I have always chosen the path of least resistance, being an ‘I cannot come and go and die’ chick even before the savvy millenials came up with the phrase. One of my most common phrases was ‘I am tired’. My sister had to point it out when I repeated it over some simple issue, she said “you are always tired over little things!’”. Even then it didn’t hit me that I was a quitter. I just made a mental note not to say it out loud anywhere near her, but I continued to repeat it to myself in difficult situations.
I don’t want to start listing all the projects, groups, relationships and dreams I have quit on. If you are a quitter you will have your long list, and possibly some of these traits:
* You tend to be very analytical, especially in seeing possible challenges that could arise
* You are very sensitive
* You internalise a lot of things
* You tend not to share your concerns with people hence lack encouragement to keep going
* challenges overwhelm you and your first reaction is to withdraw and remove the source of the challenge from your life IMMEDIATELY
* you like to have a lot of free time doing nothing, or having very little to do
I am in the process of turning a new leaf. Still not there yet, especially considering the fact that I started drafting this write up months ago. But guess what? I came back and now finishing it while waiting for a meeting to start. Talk about seizing a moment! Makes me proud I can make use of time so wisely. However it takes more than this to get out of it. I need to:
1. Take conscious actions
2. Push myself more
3. Do more and think less
4. Turn my negative thoughts to thoughts of possibilities when confronted with a new challenge
5. Speak out more
And when I fail, I have to push myself up and continue.
I hope for someone reading this, this sparks some thoughts in you, makes you take a step back and analyse yourself. I sincerely hope you decide here and now to do something about that quitting spirit so you can truly begin to soar, achieve more and fulfil purpose.
Written by Miss Oyind for Diaryofanaijagirl.com