Diary of A Nigerian Girl: This is My Reality as a HouseWife

9 May 17, 2017 By Dang

My reality as a housewife has been far from the dream. The day I danced out of my father’s arms into that of my husband, was the day I danced from freedom to societal imprisonment

Many females dream of the day they leave the house of their parents for that of their husband; the day they transition from Miss to Mrs; the day they no longer have to live by the rules of their parents, but by their own rules – the day they are ‘free’. Did I have similar dreams? Ofcourse!

This is what a typical day for me is like. My alarm goes off at 6:30am. I wake up and turn to my husband who doesn’t even stir (alarms don’t wake him). My first move is to clean up the house. He had ‘suggested’ that since I wake up early to get him ready for work anyway, I ‘might as well do some cleaning here and there’. Cleaning doesn’t involve much, it’s a two-bedroom bungalow and few minutes of dusting, sweeping the corners and mopping parts of the house do the trick

After cleaning I see that it’s a minute past 7

After a minute of calling out his name and nudging him around, my husband is finally up and he proceeds to brush his teeth.

My next move is to prepare his breakfast because God forbid he goes to work on an empty stomach. Bread is the breakfast choice. He eats his bread with either eggs or stew. He says butter should be reserved for baking and nobody above 18 should have jam in his diet.

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I fry two eggs and serve it with six slices of bread in hopes that he would be out of the bathroom soon. He emerges shortly after, dressed for work, jacket in hand (the jacket is worn after breakfast). He places his free hand on his waist and does his usual silent, one minute inspection of the house (to ensure it’s well cleaned), then hangs his jacket on the dining chair, gobbles down his breakfast, picks up his jacket and dashes out the house.Read: I am Strong but I am Tired

I go back to the bedroom and sleep till 11am. When I wake up, I’m immediately bored. I don’t have many friends in the neighbourhood because we are new and most of my other friends have jobs or businesses, none of which I have. Did I mention I have a degree in International Relations? But according to my husband, of what use is my working when he can conveniently fend for us.

After taking a bath and having breakfast, I watch TV till 2pm. Still bored, I consider calling my mum but immediately change my mind. In her world, I’m living ‘the perfect life’. I got married at an early age, my husband has a good job, he takes care of me, doesn’t beat me up or cheat on me. As a matter of fact, it’s about time I started having kids so I can ‘lock this marriage’.

I watch TV for another three hours, after which I start cooking beans (he closes at 6pm and always returns ‘famished’).Dinner is right on time as I hear the blaring of his horn right after turning off the gas. After opening the gate and ushering him in, he declares his hunger, reminding me he hasn’t eaten since ‘that small bread of this morning.’ He quickly removes his shoes, discards his jacket and tie, unbuttons his shirt and sprawls on the sofa to await his meal.

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Immediately after the meal, he stumbles into the bedroom, leaving his jacket, tie and shoes behind.
After placing our dishes in the sink, I take his clothes and shoes to the bedroom, where he reminds me he would have ‘something small’ before bed. Fried yam and eggs are what I serve him a few minutes past 9

“Egg again?” He remarks.

I ignore him and shortly after, he dozes off on the sofa. I wash the plates, then wake him and we go to the bedroom.

I drift off thinking of the three meals I would cook the next day.

Noya Sadi


9 comments on “Diary of A Nigerian Girl: This is My Reality as a HouseWife

  1. Anonymous

    Noo! Stop it! Just reading this gave me knots in my tummy. There is more to life than this. I have a 9 to 5 that I actually love and I still get bored. To live the life described above? I’ll be suicidal.


  2. Anonymous

    I was just discussing with a friend that I would love to be a housewife. I felt my 9-5 job has become so sappy and boring. But right now( after reading this) I’m not so sure anymore.


    1. Deb

      Don’t you ever try it. Your husband will treat you as a slave and your life will be monotonous with no results. You will be depressed and suicidal. You will regret it


  3. Anonymous

    I don’t think this should discourage you from getting married. You shouldn’t allow your standard to slip away. Men are scared of empowered women, the way there are bad men we also have good men. You should build your self to get what you want. Don’t be scared of facing reality. Life is beautiful and u can make it more beautiful for yourself. It takes a brave woman to face reality and make things work out. People say you can’t have it all, you can make it look like you have it all. Happiness is key @the warren lady


  4. Free Spirit

    The poster is making marriage look unattractive but that’s how she chose to live her married life. I’m a married woman with a 9 to 5 and I won’t lie, some days I wish I was a housewife (not the type depicted above o) but the balling type; the one whose DH places on a monthly salary so she’s able to even save some, the one who has time for the gym and salon and spa appointments and so she’s always looking glam and never has a hair out of line, the one who has time to hang out with friends, the one who has time to supervise what goes on in the home especially when there’s a help, the one who always has time for Hubby and doesn’t always give the ‘I have a headache after spending time in traffic to get home from work’ excuse. I think these are tye kinds of wives that working class women envy. That’s the way I envision enlightened and exposed housewives to be.
    Poster above as shown her Hubby that anything goes, that’s why he’s allowing things to be like that. She isn’t showing signs of wanting more from life. She has a degree in IR yet she chose to listen to the whole ‘stay at home I can fend for both of us’ talk. If she has a meaningful job or business to attend to, he won’t have the liver to complain about eating eggs a second time in a day. He would instead be thinking about how to give her a back rub or foot massage after work so that she’d prefer something fancy for dinner.


    1. Anonymous

      I have lived the so called glam live and I was still bored. Will your friends have your time everyday? The spa cost money and I can tell you a time will come when the man will say must you always ask for money. You have to wait on him hand and mouth for everything, there is nothing fancy about behind a fulltime housewife. You lose your self respect and feel worthless after a while. Trust me, get a job or do business because after a while all that glittering gold dulls.


  5. DANG lover

    Hmm… I’m delaying my wedding simply because I want a happy and an interesting marriage. I want to be able to visit the gym, salon, spa lounge, site seeing, attend to my business, give my husband 100% attention, plan lunch, dinner, weekends and get involved in creative skills as well as spiritual activities. Both the husband and the wife should have gists to tell one another. One should choose the kind of life one wants in a marriage with God’s help.



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