I see myself as a pretty confident person but the following kind of women just bring out the envy in me. Like…”why so proud? why so pompous?”
Ladies who have self control: When I’m going for concerts or shows, I tell myself “compose yourself, don’t start screaming once you see Timi Dakolo or wizkid.”. During the concert, I see girls well put together, tapping their feet and swaying nicely on their seats. I try to copy them, acting all classy and posh. Let me tell you, there’s an invisible spring on my bum that has its own mind, once I hear “Ni ojuelegbe shitta, ask your sista…” I’m on my feet dancing with no care in the world. When it’s over, I look around to find that some of those posh ladies maintained their cool throughout! HOW DO YOU GUYS DO IT? I HATE YOUUUUUU
Chrissy Tiegen: Her clap back game is so strong. One time, my ex broke up with me on the phone, he said ‘I can’t do this anymore, I’m calling this off. You keep doing this and it’s stressing me out…” My response? “No o. I don’t want to break up o. lai lai. I don’t” . Really? What would Chrissy have done? My instant clap back game is weak and for that, I envy Chrissy. Where did she learn such life saving skills?
Girls with effortlessly smooth skin: So I met a girl on the plane on my last trip and we got talking. I couldn’t help commenting on her flawless melanin skin. Instead of her to say “Thank you” and leave it at that, she said “Awww. Thanks o. I just use baby oil o” Girllllllllllllllll!!!! Wee you kip kwayet?! It’s been a struggle to keep my dry skin moist and you just use baby oil? I told her “yea. Kill me now”. She laughed out loud. We still keep in touch but when we talk I tell her “go away with your baby oil skin. I really hate you”. Seriously. I do!
Kemi Adetiba: Always showing herself on bill boards and screaming “loookkkk at mee. guysssssss thats me on the billboard” In my mind I’m like calm down, we know. We’ve not gotten over the huge success of the FIRST MOVIE she ever directed that grossed over 400million, in a second she’s all over the billboards for hosting a successful show again. I need her to SIT DOWN!!! She’s trying to force me out of my comfort zone. For that, I find myself not liking her much