Recently I went to see a friend who just had a baby. As I hugged her, she whispered in my ear dramatically “don’t do it. I’m serious. Don’t”. She said before she was given epidural, the pain hurt so bad, her brain almost exploded. She mentioned that the child wasn’t coming out of her anus but while she pushed, that hurt too
Speaking of anus, she said “do you know I pooped a little while pushing?” After a day or two of giving birth, “I still had mucus coming out of my jajaina”
Euwwww…mucus ke? She gave me the “side eye”. “See this one” she said to me as I grabbed my head trying to stop myself from imagining the situation. She then made matters worse…”Shebi you’re always trying to protect your jajaina, the stitches from my episiotomy itches and hurts like crazy. The pain does not end after baby pops out o”
Oh my Chisosssss…why did you people tight all these information to your chest? Not one person, even my sister and best friends have given me vivid details like this
So I had imagined I would glam up during child birth because there’ll be a professional photographer taking pictures and maybe my sister would do a video. But how is my make up and nice hair going to stay in place when I’m pooping and my brain is exploding from pain?
After scaring my socks off, she looked at her baby, smiled fondly and said “trust me though, it’s all worth it”. This time, I was the one who gave her the “side eye!”