Domestic Violence has a Cause. If the women can avoid the cause, they can avoid the Violence: Technology and ‘yeye’ Equality has rendered most of our women senseless – Kay kross

9 May 04, 2017 By Dang

The way people talk about domestic violence these days is making me think I don’t know what it is. Maybe I don’t know much, but I want to say the little I know.
 
Most of the so called female celebs and women generally are beginning to make it seem like a gender thing. It’s like domestic violence is only ?when a man beats a woman or harasses a woman domestically. How come nobody is talking about men suffering domestic violence? Because everyday, the women come out to complain.
 
The latest is our Nollywood sister, (I will not mention names).A woman who starves her husband is also violating him. Food, sex, attention etc. Or is it because the men don’t come out to talk? When the women are running their mouths and feeling in charge, nobody complains. When a man fights back, everyone starts calling the man names

The past few years, we have seen and heard about our so called celebrity wives facing domestic violence. There are women that are married to celebrity husbands and we hardly hear of any case of domestic violence. Why? Is it that the celebrity husbands don’t know how to beat women? Power and fame are two dangerous tools if they get into the wrong hands

Only a few women can handle fame. Once they get that fame and power, they never want to be tamed.
Don’t get me wrong, no human should beat up another human? I once saw a woman insulting her husband and dragging him. The man kept quiet. She held on to his belt, dragging and hitting him. The man eventually pushed her away so he could avoid her wahala. She fell and hit her face. Her face became swollen and she called police that her husband did it to her.

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Some husbands have troublesome and nagging wives. Women that use words to molest and reduce men. What happened to happy marriages? Technology and ‘yeye’ equality has rendered most of our women senseless. Our fathers and mothers were never like this. Since I was born till date, I’ve never heard or seen my dad hit my mom. Why? The woman knows her place and respects her husband.
 
My opinion is this. Everything has a cause. Domestic violence has a cause. If the women can avoid the cause, they can avoid the violence. In Nigeria, who cries first is always the victim. The men will never cry out because they are men but some are going through hell in their homes

They can probably tell their close friends but not the public. The woman will always let everything out once the man fights back. All thanks to social media, nothing is hidden. I’m not saying some men don’t beat their wives but objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. Most times, the women drive them into it. Most times, the women violate the men and as men, they keep quiet based on logistics and pride as men. ?No man would be proud to say his wife beat him up.
 
Let me say this again!? I don’t support a man beating his wife. All I’m saying is, if these so called female celebs would pay more attention to their homes, they would have happy marriages. They are always on social media, shows, movie sets, etc they hardly stay at home.
 
Even God knew Adam would cause war if left alone. The Bible said that God saw that IT WAS NOT GOOD TO LEAVE MAN ALONE so He created a woman. 
 
Everything is going wrong because everyone wants equality. The women are no longer submissive. They start earning more than their husbands and boom! They want to be the head and the men… You know what happens next

And when the men talk, they don’t listen because they are now the head. When the men realize that their wives don’t listen, they use force to remind them that they are still the head.Then the stupid woman comes out to “Say no to domestic violence”.
 
Only a mad man, a possessed man and a drunk man would beat a woman without reason. Know your place as a wife, respect your husband, create time for your family, pay less attention to the public and build your home. Social media won’t help you.
 
Say no to domestic violence, pray more and talk less.

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God Is Love Always

#DANG Kay kross

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9 comments on “Domestic Violence has a Cause. If the women can avoid the cause, they can avoid the Violence: Technology and ‘yeye’ Equality has rendered most of our women senseless – Kay kross

  1. RedRooster

    I agree that in some cases domestic violence is the reverse case and the woman is the perpetrator, I also agree that in most of those cases the man wouldn’t come out to say so because of pride.
    However a woman who is crazy, troublesome and disrespectful has always been like that. it has nothing to do with how much she makes or her responsibility in the home. So dude don’t get it twisted that has been part of her character from the onset. There are a lot of women that i know personally who practically carry the home and safe for someone showing u physical evidence you would never have known.
    Finally on ur rant on equality, the woman is considered an equal in the home and can joke or say whatever she wants to her husband until she starts to make more, then he’ll take offense at everything and starts to say its cos you have this n that..
    Bottom line is whether husband or wife, resolving to violence doesn’t solve anything.. No need for it whatsoever




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  2. Anonymous

    This is how ‘most ‘ Nigerian men and also some women think sadly. U marry me doesnt mean you own me. Being submissive doesn’t mean you don’t have opinions, dreams and aspirations. There is no justification ,no matter how sugar coated it comes that justifies abusing a person either physically or emotionally. If you can’t handle the disrespect ( in your opinion) or verbal assaults, please walk away. Most men that are physically and emotionally abusive to their spouses usually can’t handle all the attention the spouse is getting. When a man is insecure the cracks will definitely begin to show.
    Sad reality




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  3. innyinny

    Domestic violence has seemingly become a gender thing simply because it’s common amongst men than women. Though we hardly hear cases of men speaking up on it but we shouldn’t be ignorant of the fact that it does exist. This is not to sound insensitive but as the bible says, he who finds a wife has found a good thing. So, I’m sorry for the man that found a man beater as wife.
    It’s clear to see that a lot of men struggle with their manhood and the average woman is confused about her role in life. All these problems that women face today wasn’t there from the beginning.
    Women believe they were created like men and try to be like men. They compete for equality as a reaction to the ill treatment from men.
    God created Man and instructed man to have dominion over everything but woman. From that same man he formed woman and presented her to him. He acknowledged that she is the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh and yadayadayada (you can read the rest from genesis2: 18-end). She was made as a helpmeet not a domestic slave, a sex slave or a maid. She isn’t your private property and you by no means own her and so you shouldn’t ever lay a finger on her. Its disappointing to see that the only way men can show their manhood is by hitting a woman. One would think they should be smarter than that. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t support women that make their marriages a living hell but all I’m saying is a man should have a little self-control when it comes to throwing punches to whomever.
    A woman is a ‘wombman’. She is a receiver and whatever you give her, she multiplies and gives it back to you. If you give her love, she’ll give you more love. If you give her shit, she will give you hell. So maybe its time for couples to genuinely seek to know who they are as man and woman and what their purposes are in life so that they can understand each other, live a happier life and avoid all these conflicts.
    I believe we were created for a purpose and if we fail to know the purpose, abuse is then inevitable.
    I don’t agree with Mr Kay Kross blaming it on technology or equality. Men have failed period. They have failed to be responsible and live up to their roles as Head, Leader, Protecter, Provider and so on like it was clearly stated from the creation of man.
    In the past, womanhood and manhood were measured by the roles they play but now the roles are gone. Our parents understood and performed accordingly with the Man being the provider and the women as the housekeeper and that is why we never really heard of domestic violence at that time.
    Like RedRooster said, most of the times in our relationship, we see these red flags but we still ignore it and choose to stay in it hoping it will get better. That’s the biggest lie we could ever tell ourselves because it never gets better. The Choice is yours to leave or to stay. We can all stop this from happening if we can just do what is right. In choosing a husband, we should never be in a hurry. It’s better late than ‘SORRY’.
    Personally, I am tired of all these domestic abuse going on. Please Ladies, don’t set yourselves up for this. You deserve better. Do the right thing, Go back to God, he created us and knows what’s best for us. He gave us a manual – The Bible to help us in our life’s journey on earth. May God grant us the wisdom and discernment to make choices that is best for our lives. Amen!




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  4. Anonymous

    “Only a mad man, a possessed man and a drunk man would beat a woman without reason”. So, according to Kay Kross a man has the right to beat his wife only with reasons. I am opposing him/her that a man has no damn reason to raise his hands on a woman. Yes, the Bible says that a woman should be submissive to her husband. But I hv’nt seen any where in the Bible that GOD says that if a woman is not submissive, the husband should hit her. I only read where the Bible says we should correct each other with love, also the Bible says we should learn how to control our temper. So if a man should beat his wife because she didn’t cook, take of the house or being promiscuous, then every woman will hv a scar because most women are guilty of these offences in one way or the other. I will keep on saying it, only an insecure man or a coward would raise his fingers on a woman.




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  5. Bimidiah

    I addressed the issue of domestic violence on my blog after studying and researching on domestic violence and it is very simple…..
    1)There is no reason one human should beat a fellow human generally
    2)If you cannot wake up and start hitting yourself! No matter what you do wrong, no man should hit his wife! The bible says “and the two shall become one. ” So if you see a man hitting himself, you assume he is mad because you should not hit yourself…
    visit musingsofbimidiah.wordpress.com where i described it as madness… Wife beating is a sickness… Domestic Violence is madness. Submission, promiscuity, sex starving are painful, but pitiful excuses for wife beating.
    3)Domestic violence does not have gender, rape also does not have gender, but we somehow find the males violence over female far above… Husbands do not love as the bible requires them to, they cheat more than the female folk and sex starve too (though rare.. ) But how many wives beat, the good ones pray!! and fast!!

    it is embarrassing to TRY to justify Domestic violence! I said “try” because there is no actual justification.




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  6. Yemi

    This guy needs to get himself checked. Never is it okay to hit a woman and vice versa. And as for your comment about marriages in previous generations, it’s because women didn’t have a voice especially in a patriarchal society. Now we do. We’re not going to stay in abusive relationships all to save face or because it’s what society deems as the proper thing to do. How dare you say because she makes more money she’s disrespectful? I’ve heard so many men say dumb things like that. No, men are so insecure. Extremely insecure. Your pride and ego get in the way and escalate minor things. It takes two to make a home, to raise a family and make a marriage work. It’s not solely the responsibility of a woman. Furthermore, please note that women are not second-class citizens as your article so desperately insinuates. The bible that you so eloquently and partially quoted also states that God created male and female equal. I am a Nigerian woman. I have sisters who make more than their husbands and are in the public eye – married over decades and counting. They have no issues. Such a public justification of domestic violence just shows your intrinsic patriarchal mentality and depicts an uneducated stance.




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  7. D

    As i was reading this write up i was boiling….. because i could not believe the reasons stated to beat your wife…. but thankfully previous comments have addressed and spoken my thoughts, so am appeased :)) .. But in all honesty, even the celebrity women are human beings and an average Nigerian or African man gets egocentric with a successful woman and naturally will suppress a woman that has everything going for them and hardly needs the man.




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  8. Anonymous

    Honestly how is this the same person that wrote the “What is Marriage Really About?Turning Your Wife into A Househelp?” piece? One moment you’re against abuse, the next you’re saying there’s a reason for it? There is no excuse for domestic violence whether by male or female PERIOD




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