Diary of A Naija Guy: Letter To My Unborn Daughter – Benjamin Chi

Photo credit: shutterstock 1 February 06, 2017 By Dang

Hi butterfly,

You know, sometimes I look around the world we live in today and it frightens me that someday you’ll be exposed to all this. Humans are an odd bunch, you’ll come to realise quickly enough.

I pray I’m still around to watch you blossom and grow into the smart, confident, empathetic and kind woman I know you’re capable of becoming. Be warned though, you’ll be told so many contrasting rules on how to be a woman;

They’ll tell you to be smart but not too smart. To speak out but don’t be too loud. Be well spoken but don’t be too opinionated. Be a virgin but be good at sex but only with your husband. Get an education but don’t be too independent.

You will be judged for not being religious and you will be judged for being religious. And it’s totally okay not to know exactly where you lie. It will quickly dawn on you that the more you know, the more you realise you actually don’t know in this life. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and challenge the status quo. Never be afraid to be the change you seek. After all, sometimes, it only takes one person to make a difference.

You will be judged for the clothes you wear. Harassed even, for which you will then be blamed, by men and women alike. But you must remember your clothes do not define you as person. Neither does your sexuality. Do not be afraid to explore it. Society has a way repressing women’s sexuality. Do not let that affect who you are. Who you choose to be with and how many people you choose to be with, does not define you as a woman.

You will learn perfection is a fallacious concept and true self development is achieved through continuous improvement. You will learn quickly that life begins outside your comfort zone. You will learn that sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow. Sometimes lessons are best learned through experience no matter how painful they might be, so do not be afraid to take a chance.

You will learn that narcissistic tendency is not love

You will always be too much of something for someone; too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. Do not lose your edge by trying to round out your edges to fit the society

So this, I say to you; do whatever makes you happy. Apologise for mistakes. Apologise for unintentionally hurting someone, profusely. But never apologise for being yourself.

You well learn being open and vulnerable, contrary to what most people believe, actually shows true strength; As does forgiveness. You never lose by loving, only by holding back.

Until that day comes, I’ll be here; patiently waiting for you so we can begin this adventure called life together.

Love, Daddy.

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