I am an ardent reader of yours on Instagram and immediately bookmarked your website as soon as it launched. This is why after reading your open letter to Tonto Dikeh, I took it upon myself to tell you my story. I am not a celebrity, so I hope you’ll relate with me
During my divorce with my ex husband, when we sat with our lawyers, he called me a bad mother. Yes, my ex husband and I used to smoke weed but our 5 year old never saw me smoke. Him and I never ever smoked in the house. He also insinuated I drink a lot and get home drunk on Fridays so this makes me unfit and he wanted sole custody. These were all lies
When he said this, I panicked and my lawyer insisted I get drug and alcohol test done. My heart broke into tiny pieces because this is a man that had more influence than me. What if he goes and forge an alcohol test to prove himself right? We were seperated for a year. I have had no drop of alcohol since then partly because I was seriously trying to lose weight.
Straight from the lawyer’s office I went to get the test done. I closed early from work the next day, picked up the test result and dropped it at my lawyer’s office then made over 20 copies. I drove around Lagos like a mad woman, submitting drug test results to his family members and mine. Trying to convince them to get on my side and talk to him not to do anything funny. I even got to his own lawyer’s house at 11pm, although he didn’t allow me in, I dropped the test result at his gate. Not only was I angry at my ex husband, I was scared too. That my child would be taken from me and everyone will say it’s because I’m a bad mother. I did a test every 3 days, submitted it round to the same people until the hearing in court
Thinking back, this was not ideal, dropping the drug test results with my lawyer was enough to shut down his accusations but I was desperate for people to know I was not a bad mother. I have sole custody of my son now. This is because the judge asked for my ex husband’s drug test too when she found out I was the only one that had that in her file. He submitted his and had cannabis in his blood. Case closed quicker than it started
Dear DANG, can you see why I empathize with Tonto? Women pride themselves on being the best mother their child can have, so trying to ruin that part of her life will get her on the defensive and make her do what is sometimes unnecessary. But it is all in good faith
You already know I love you. Hopefully my story will make you see things from Tonto’s point of view.