I Decided to “go natural” with my hair because I thought I had sense and that natural hair will save money. Now, I share my breakfast with my hair
My breakfast mostly consists of coffee or tea, bread and one egg which is a complete balanced diet. I’ll now take out the egg which is the “ghen ghen” of the meal and the ‘balanced’ is gone. I’d be left with just…diet. As if it that is not enough, I’ll take out the coffee and I’m left with just carbohydrates to keep my tummy sane
Before you begin to wonder what I’m doing taking these things out of my meal, natural Hair blogs prescribe raw eggs and a coffee/tea rinse for healthy hair growth. Give me a reason why I shouldn’t establish a poultry farm for my hair when natural hair wants protein for lunch but I only have beans at home?
When you see me buying a pack of 5 alive juice please don’t assume it is mine, ‘eez’ not! My Hair wants to drink juice because there’s no money to blend fruit salad and empty on it! “Chinaza, the fresh tomatoes in the fridge were for our stew. Why is it on your hair?” Yeah that’s my mum! I don’t have any answer
And when I finally decide to consult YouTube videos for alternative measures, this is what I find:
“Add 10 bat’s eyes”
“Add 1 goat’s head”
“Add the white feathers of a dove”
What am I making?! Herbal medicine?
If I don’t feed my hair with protein and vegetables, this is what happens: I’m walking alone on the street –since I don’t have a car- looking like MC Jegede. Already my hair is tangled. Then my hair gets exposed to low and high humidity, which brings me closer to shrinkage, making ‘sanwan’ look like a burnt cake. It is common knowledge that all the mad men and women that roam the streets are either naturals or in transition, one of them will now come and mistake “yours truly” for their colleague
In the case of the above, the solution is four edge control! 4! Even at that, my edges still raise their hands and legs, body and soul to heavens in praise and worship. In fact, let me even use this medium to advertise…if you want to buy edge control…please I’m selling.
Natural hair gang, do you feel me?