Monthly Archives: December 2016

Let Loneliness Spur you into Finding Something to Live For

I used to complain to God, my sister and my friends about being lonely. Thinking back, I was lonely because there was nothing really exciting happening and I had come to accept that only boys and their attention would add some spice to my boring life. I was working but that had become a routine. Then I stumbled on an article online about how to turn my alone time to fertile solitude and have the best time of my life

If you’re a spiritual person, please pray, because deliberately dragging oneself out of the hole of loneliness is difficult. Being an adult sucks at this time because you alone can help yourself but once your mind is made up, the process begins. I realized -not immediately- that I could create my own excitement

So I did. I wrote down everything I genuinely liked doing, and prioritized them according to which excites me most, so I started from Number 1, which is writing, Number 2, meeting new people…

I found myself, pleasurably adrift in this new found solitude, my inner voice became more audible, I was churning out pages of my thoughts and loving it. The next time I picked up a call or made one, I was no more the whiny friend or sister, I became that excited person, who has a lot to say and enjoys listening because there’s a lesson from everything I hear. I also became that person who refused to waste time on the phone because I had my writing to go back to. Like Oprah said “ What’s the smartest thing to do after learning what makes you tick? Waste zero time getting started on living your best life”

Be careful though, as you begin to enjoy and take advantage of your solitude, you tend to like it a lot. When you meet someone worth giving your time to, it may be difficult letting go of this wonderful space you have created for yourself. I pray, when that time comes, God grants us wisdom to strike a balance

Kokoro, Mr fake Accent and I

This is the story of “kokoro”. You may be too crème to know what this is, I can’t really help you. Google it

Sometime this week I walked into Ghana High (A local restaurant in Lagos Island) looking “splufik”. I was ordering for take home beans and plantain when I heard someone shout my name excitedly; It was my ex colleague. We were quite chummy at my former work place so I was excited to see him too. After we exchanged pleasantries, he introduced me to Emeka, his friend who he brought to the restaurant for the first time. Emeka said he wanted to know what the fuss about Ghana High was

Emeka had an American accent and looked like Tyrese. In my mind I said “niceeeeeeeee”. We all chatted a little but I really had to go so Emeka took my number and asked if I would like to hang out sometime

On my way out I saw this Kokoro at a stand right at the exit. I stopped in my tracks, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’ve not had this in over 15years. Anyway I had not even paid for the Kokoro before I whipped one out and started chewing like a local “somebothy”. This was how Emeka and my ex colleague found me. Funny thing is I didn’t think anything of it. Emeka in his American accent said “that looks gross”. Shuo!!! The Kokoro I bought with my own money? What is this life? I managed to explain to him what it was and he said “I just never imagined catching you outside here eating something like that”

Fast forward to lunch with Emeka two days later, I learned he was on holiday from work. I asked him how long he’s been working at the IOC, he said 8 years but he just moved to Austin, Texas 14months ago. Alarm bells went off! Eskis sir, moved to Austin from where? He said “From PortHarcourt”. Wait! Hollup! So where did all that American accent come from? ” I was accused of eating kokoro in public but you already have a full Fledged American accent in 14months?” I said this while laughing out loud

Emeka didn’t like my tone. His mood changed drastically and we finished our meal in silence. Good riddance anyway, I later learnt Mr Fake accent is married. That’s that about that. My kokoro wins!

Love is not enough

Mr and Mrs Sunday Oladimeji: Married for 41 Years, Still Going Strong

My name is Sunday Oladimeji. This is my wife, Mrs Titilayo Oladimeji

We got married in 1976. The moment I saw her at a party in Ogbomosho in 1975 I knew she would be my wife. She was sitting by herself, but smiling. When I walked up to her, she was very respectful but it still took a while for her to agree to marry me. She made me travel to Ogbomosho to see her every weekend

Mrs Oladimeji (cuts in): But you didn’t mind now. You were afraid someone else will marry me that’s why you came to mark register every weekend

Mr Oladimeji (Smiling now): But you still married me despite all your “shakara”

Mrs Oladimeji: Sunday is a great man, he gave me all I wanted from the very first day I saw him. If he has 1naira he would share it with me

Mr Oladimeji: But she spent the 1naira like it was 1k. It still amazes me how she can buy a lot with the small money I give her

Mrs Oladimeji (Laughs out loud): It’s a secret. A woman should know how to manage the home, to make sure little is spent wisely so it can look like much. When you marry a man you love, you thank God every day. Sunday treats everyone like they are important, this makes me see God in him, so he is my second god. Even my children know they cannot compete with my husband

DANG: Is love enough in a marriage

Mrs Oladimeji: It is not but it is key. After we got married, I moved in with him in Lagos. We were managing one room with some of his brothers, he was the one training them. Things were really hard. Sometimes I got frustrated but Sunday was working so hard doing his trailer work and sometimes assistant driver. The man was doing his best, so I decided to help too, that way, I didn’t have to wait at home feeling bad

Mr Oladimeji: Yes. She helped and I am very proud of her. After driving trailer for days, all I want to do is come home. Even till now, she looks at me with so much love when I get back from tour, like a child. We are happy, our children have graduated and they are building a house for us. All our hard work has paid off. A man who cherishes peace and long life will marry the right woman. This way, life’s problems will reduce by 70%